Screens: ABC

Putting The 'Dolt' Back In 'Dolce & Gabbana'

Sarah reviews the outfits from Revenge's night at the (soap) opera.

2014-03-25-revenge-21

Charlotte is still interning at Le Margaux-zine. The sweater, it makes her look like ze...how you say? Le beauzeau? The shape is cute, the zig-zag pattern is okay, the Liberace harlequin zirconiae all over it have gots to GO.

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Conrad and Emily meet to reveal that they worked together to bring Stevie back. I think? I was so captivated by the stag lamp, I may have missed something. The Hannibal set designer should snag a pair for Chilton's office, no?

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Classic Nolan double-pop, this time in tone-on-tone as he wonders whether Emily has really returned to form.

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Emily engineers a run-into outside Stevie's AA meeting. She's wearing a lot of that green lately, which I don't love -- it's not bad on VanCamp, but the color itself is a little dated and '90s-Gappy. Nothing else is going on with the outfit, either; the dress has an exposed zipper in the back, which gives it some visual interest, but that design detail is getting way tired, and the neckline is awkward. It needs a lariat necklace.

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Here's Stevie looking through family albums at Jack's and putting the Emily/Amanda thing together, at least partway. She wants to pursue that lead she got years ago about David Clarke, before Conrad framed her with a DUI and drove her out of town, because Conrad's going to that trouble meant she'd gotten close to something. Jack wants her to let it go. Jack might also have a word with her about the weird pin job Wardrobe did to keep her wrap dress closed. I like the color and print on Gail O'Grady, but the pinning is too obvious and it drags her bustline down.

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Oh, how I love this shot of Daniel Rottweiling out on Emily after she's like, you can try to use those snaps of me frenching Aiden to get yourself a divorce, but 1) you shot me and 2-156) you shot me and 157) shut up, stupid. I could look at it all day and laaaaugh and laugh. Not a hundred on Victoria's dress, though; tough brown tone for her, and it looks a bit tight.

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Cheer up, Nolan! Your prison bestie Javier should have asked before giving his P.O. your address as his permanent one, but he came in pretty handy when you and Jack had to break into Stevie's old law firm's records room -- and also you look foxy in that dark red turtleneck.

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Stevie's back to that Conrad Bain "I'm all one colorless color" makeup story as she tries to convince Jack to join the hunt for justice for David Clarke, but that necklace is death.

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...Hee! Nick Wechsler's plaintive face is classic. This is the elevator ride up to the Nolan's 11 file heist; Jack is looking acceptable, and Nolan is looking AMAZING (you can't maybe tell, but with the polka-dot shirt and pocket square and the rep tie, he's wearing a very dark watch-plaid jacket. Gorge), and the two-foot height differential is the best part. I love Nolan and Jack adventures! Jack: "THIS IS GETTING INTENSE I HAVE FEELINGS HURRY UP FUCK OFF SOMETHING SOMETHING!" Nolan: "Chill, foxy." Never gets old.

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HAAAAA HA HA HA HA! "Hi, it's Nolan's old hair. How YOU doin'."

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Told that Papa Pascal has been cooking the books, Margaux glares at Conrad for some reason, while Pascal glares at Margaux's dress for NO reason. It's chic, it's professional, and it makes an unexpected contrast with her gamine hairstyle.

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"I ate a bug!"

...Oh, there's nothing fashion-related to say about this one. I just had all these gooby grabs of Joshua Bowman and I didn't want to waste them. He's mad about something.

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That shirt on Nolan, perhaps. The pattern-mixing is fine, though that's a lot of dark brown to put near Gabriel Mann's face; what I really don't care for is the buttoned-up-shirt, no-tie thing he's in every week. Every now and then is okay, but it's a little more normcore than I'd like for Nolan.

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It's time to meet the parents at the opera. Jack's shirt looks cheap and that bowtie is way too big, but that works for me as a character beat. I like Margaux's dress -- a little punk, but not too much -- but I don't care for the color, and her hair, uch. It doesn't look too terrible here, but stand by.

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The nude-lip fail here is inexplicable. Dark berry stain, hellooooo? But she's once again in a necklace I'd knock her down to get. That looks like genuine cut-bead vintage. Beautiful.

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...Amirite? I understand the challenges of short hair in the formal space, but this Jerry Lee And/Or Parker Lewis Can't Lose homage is not the answer. Get a sparkly barrette or some clip-ins! A vintage hat! Something that isn't this.

Screens: ABC

Screens: ABC

From left: Dolt-ce & Gabbana over there is doing a smug jig at Emily's discomfiture when her medical records get leaked (...by her, but he doesn't know that), revealing that she lied about the pregnancy; Charlotte is looking cute in a throwback choker and modified sweetheart neckline (she also has a high pony you can't see here that's on point); and Victoria is, well, victorious in Dolce, though that hard-line waistband looks very uncomfortable and I wouldn't have gone with that earring.

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Emily flees; the camera guy gets a bunch of great shots of her gown, which has a branching pattern going down to the floor. Beautiful dress and a lovely cut on VanCamp, though that color is a little airport-hotel for me.

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Emily overacts horror at finding the press waiting outside for her. Hilarious rubber-facing that almost distracts you from that amazing necklace, but not quite.

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Emily's divorce is ready. Victoria's back in casual togs; the raspberry really works. I'd like to see a bolder nail.

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Dummy Hilfiger: for when you think you "won" by getting a divorce from a woman you shot, but your mom has to explain what the endgame is because you're an idiot.

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Love the print combo, but again, either unbutton the top button or wear a tie. A bow would work well here.

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Jack hears Emily's theory that Pascal was involved somehow with the hijacking, and decides to light some shit on fire with his mind. He could light MY shit on fire by getting rid of the ancillary scruff and committing to a mustache solo. Bonus points if he twirls it at some point.

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