Phillippe Bosse / ABC

Is Quantico An Extended Scientology Metaphor?

And if so, can someone please cast Katie Holmes ASAP?

Remember when Quantico first started, and how the early episodes exploited stereotypes and tropes? That was kind of awesome, until the angle fizzled out in favor of flashbangs, hair porn, and actual bangs. But there are new hints that the show may be returning to its roots, and this whole Mark Raymond subplot we've had to suffer through may still prove to be a thorn in Tom Cruise's side. Either that or we're all wasting our time and Chuck Bass did it. Honestly, it could go either way at this point.

Hey, Alex: Do you like your CB2 knitted pouf?

I've been thinking about getting the same one in graphite, but I'm on the fence about it. It just seems like one of those things that's either completely useless or a surprising multi-tasking rockstar, you know? What's your experience been with it? Do you use it more as an ottoman, footstool, or seat? And should we read anything into it that yours is in a dark beige putty color that's clearly several seasons old? I would think that an FBI agent theoretically trained in extensive research techniques would be a Craigslist sourcing master; if so, please teach us your secrets.

How close were Simon and Raina to doing it?

File this under Mysteries That Finally Make Sense: The big reveal that Raina and Simon had a post-Simon-leaving-Quantico relationship is a payoff of sorts to Simon's extreme reaction to Raina sleeping with that terror cell leader earlier in the season. How much of a couple were they before Nimah forced Raina to cool it? Will this have any effect on the future storyline other than the awkward sexual tension? Probably not, but at least one detail actually has actually gotten wrapped up.

Why doesn't Hannah just tell the director?

…It's because the current FBI director hasn't been established, right? But still, it's pretty clear that Miranda is Hannah's boss, and since Miranda was the OG Team Alex member -- she's the one who broke her out of FBI custody in the pilot! -- wouldn't it make sense for Hannah to go to Miranda with everything she knows? It's not like the truth is even a far-fetched story, especially compared to everything that poor woman's already been through. Why play dumb, writers?

And why can't Hannah just help catch the terrorist from Alex's apartment?

So, show, you mean to say that the best agent Ryan Booth knows is perfectly content to spend her suspension sitting at home on her couch, when she knows a terrorist is on the loose, rather than hang out at Alex's, sit on a knitted pouf, and help behind the scenes a la Simon? That's cool.

Do we have to watch Alex and Drew have sex?

Honestly, no one ships this couple. Agent NFL Guy's a flat enough character as-is, so wouldn't it just be easier if any of his begrudging screen time was spent bro-ing out with Agent Jacob Artist? Neither of those two has any purpose, but at least they could have each other.

Why doesn't Shelby tell the FBI about her parents?

Let's put on our thinking caps: best-case scenario for Shelby here is that her parents simply couldn't stand her anymore and decided to fake their deaths as a means of abandoning her. That would still mean that they used 9/11 as a cover, no doubt manipulating historically important data to place themselves on a passenger manifest. Based on that alone, wouldn't it logically follow that their tampering would have been a heinous federal crime? Who knows what details and information was lost due to their meddling? And also, Shelby tells Alex that she used to wonder about her parents' last moments on the flight, but wouldn't that be somewhat known based on recordings and situational reconstruction? Is the show trying to play into some larger issue here by tying the current terrorist(s) (in this case Lily van der Woodsen and husband (not Rufus)) back to 9/11? Has this all taken place because poor li'l rich girl couldn't be bothered to screw her brain in and alert her own employers?

Is the terrorist plot related to the Systemics op the now-dead Clayton was running with Caleb?

In this scenario, the terrorist is Claire, and the plot involves her picking up where the deceased Clayton left off and running Caleb (and, I guess, maybe Will) undercover in an effort to take down the Systemics. Are they the ones behind the bombings? There's no motive (yet) for the initial Grand Central bombing, but there's definitely one for the second bomb that took out the FBI field headquarters. And does any of this dovetail with the fact that Caleb was planning on using the money from Shelby's faux sister to pay his way into Systemics? Is this whole show aimed at bringing down Scientology from inside Hollywood itself?

Is Charlie dead?

Seriously, can we not drag out this reveal? Is he dead or not? And how has/will that effect Miranda's actions in the current timeline?

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