Screens: Lifetime

This Business We Call Sew

A Broadway-inspired challenge generates a dog's breakfast of a runway. Swatch what happens! ...Oops, wrong network.

It's Corporate Synergy: The Musical Week on Project Runway, as the designers take in a performance of Finding Neverland, produced by Harvey Weinstein, who also produces PR and whose wife, the BEAUTIFUL Georgina Chapman, is a PR: All Stars judge. My esteemed colleague Mark Blankenship, who is hardly what I would call the cynical one in our friendship, pointed this out to me. Then I gave some Miramax movies five stars on Netflix.

Just kidding! Then the designers went to Mood, Lindsey complained about the judges not "getting her" again and then some more, and Swapnil amped his effort level from 40 percent to a hundred and ten and ended up in the middle while Candice made lofty remarks. Girl, we have a Tim Gunn. Have a seat.

It's hard to think the wrong designer went home, although it does seem like pasties and visible butt-cheek should require an auf. What won a Tony and what closed after a single night? To the list!

Candice

I want to dislike it, I really do. It's too '90s-rockabilly-Goth-cheongsam for me -- I feel like I saw a variation on it at Webster Hall 20 years ago, paired with oxblood eight-hole Docs and a lot of Rhiannon scarvery -- and I don't get the J.Crew pump with it at all, BUT: it's a nice fabric, I like the newness of the coat shape, the back is really great, and the stripey diaphanous under-layer is subtle and pretty.

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I'd never look twice at it for myself but it really does grow on you. I could do without her "you know what [other designer] needs to do?" talking-heads, but this is a solid win, and she could teach bodice-cutting. And...should, ASAP.

Edmond

The cloud is not my taste, but I could see that type of top becoming A Thing.

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The pants are cut like a diamond, though. I'm a little surprised this didn't go over bigger with the panel.

Posen faces

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That last one is actually Posen reacting positively to the gloves Kelly made by hand.

The judging

...CocoRo!

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I know, hon. She's usually good; she could have gotten more specific this time. Nina has a down week with "Tinker-HELL" and the announcement that "green is the color of hope." Isn't this the same lady who said they don't shoot green clothes for covers? Also no it isn't. But overall it's a triumph of diplomacy given some of the shite they're looking at.

Kelly

I don't hate it, but it's on the '40s-Halloween-costume side. The rope belt is dressup-box hideous. But it is wearable and it is a departure for her.

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And let's hear it for her giant earrings. Love.

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Swapnil

Ready for a comeback, buddy?
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Great! So...any thoughts on Edmond's ostrich feathers?

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Sure. ...I like making SwapGIFs almost as much as I dislike the cheap-looking pink, but the contrast is smart, though the bottom hem of the top portion looks unhemmed.

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It could have used one more pass, but at least he's not coasting.

Merline

The fabric does most of the work here, and still the top of the bodice is rumply; the back hits the model strangely; the junkie-lank styling choice for the hair doesn't work. I like the shoulder cages, and comparatively this isn't terrible, but it's not great.

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Lindsey

I don't know that it deserved to go home, but if you go with that stark a design, it can't give the model mashed-potato waist.

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I think she had more to show, and she's probably the one whose clothes I'd most likely buy, but what she does isn't necessarily TV-friendly.

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Went out on a high lashes-and-mani note, however.

Laurie

The look manages to be at once boring (my first note is on the styling and the inappropriate shoe-ties Laurie went with) and offensively incomplete. Why didn't she sew a fast tube top? Why is the bodice that strange shell "shape"?

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I'll bet you ten bucks Coco had that the lowest, because she likes to keep it covered, and this just...can't do that. That said, I think Laurie had a few good ideas here and just got stuck in her own head with the coat.

Ashley

Brutal. And would it kill these designers to do a straight-across strapless bodice? What's with the constant (and usually jank) attempts at a sweetheart neckline?

Photo: Lifetime

Photo: Lifetime

The disposition of the color is creative, but it's so messy around the waist, and the back isn't fitted properly. The sweep on the loose side isn't long enough, either.

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