Never Mind The Pollocks

A team challenge gets messy thanks to paintball and mean-girling.

A seemingly endless team-choosing exercise ends with Ashley getting picked last, a weird turn of events that Heidi calls out disapprovingly; an interminable paintball sequence follows to lead the designers into their challenge, using their paint-spattered jumpsuits to create a six-look mini-collection for their team. This in turn devolves into a weird mean-girl situation on the girls' team that sees Ashley marginalized and set up for the loss, though Laurie rats out the others to Ashley before the runway to prepare her for what's coming. The whole thing is really weird; I can see wanting to get her out because she's a consistently strong designer, but during a team challenge, you want her playing for you, not against you, so on top of being obvious and petty, it's also dumb.

And it fails. Amanda's isn't the worst look, but Nina has had it in so many words, so home she goes.

Who hit the target and who just made a mess? The looks (both fashion and side-eye) from art to fart.

Edmond

"Marvelous, truly." - my notes. The judges agreed and Edmond notched his second win.

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It's a note on a classic shape, but not a knock-off, cut like a diamond, with sporty detailing (the collar snaps). Perfect use of Jake's pattern, and in a color I look great in, not for nothing. Want.

Blake

He's right on that the girls fucked themselves by getting personal and competitive instead of pulling together to win as a team. He's also making hilarious faces

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and is less aggressively sparkle-prince this week. I like the dress a lot

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though the fit issues in back reassert themselves; it's very crisp and cute for summer, not groundbreaking but I would buy it.

Swapnil

He makes the sentence "It looks like the '70s have puked everywhere" into music, truly.

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It's the "have" that makes it art. The bubble profile is not my thing, but I love the way he thinks about layers, and the bodice with the yellow is gorge.

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Posen faces

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Merline

I would get rid of the collar,

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but it's a flattering, fresh mix of shapes and I love that waistband.

Joseph

Huge leap forward for him in terms of 1) working with others and 2) producing younger work. A pocket is the fastest way to my good side on this show sometimes, but I also like the contrast of the silhouettes in the separates, and within the top.

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The judging

It's always a pleasure to see and hear from Kelly Osbourne; she knows her shit from a construction standpoint as well as from a fashion/taste POV, and she's direct but not mean. She's right that Ashley could afford to toughen up, but at the same time she totally calls out the girls' team on pretending Ashley's look is the worst. Nina is fed up with Amanda's "dead weight" efforts, and harsh but fair about the "joyless," "amateur" looks of the team as a whole. And she's not buying the "Ashley drools" narrative, either. Like, physically not buying it:

GIF: Previously.TV

GIF: Previously.TV

I am fucking saying.

Jake

A few good ideas here, but it's not very flattering from a couple of angles. I do like the length on the pants.

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And the top's fabric gives a neat illusion of flow. Plus, he created all that textile.

Laurie

The top is stiff; the overall effect is dollar-store and too plain.

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May only have avoided the bottom three by speaking honestly about the dysfunction in the workroom, but I respect that, as well as her decision to warn Ashley about the others closing ranks against her.

Ashley

I mean...nobody picked her; Team Boys + Merline didn't take her either. She does need to grow a thicker skin, and it's quite possible she's one of those weepy drains and we just don't see it because we're spending 46 hours an episode in the goddamn hair salon.

As well, I hate the look, a lot.

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The idea behind the top is okay, but the execution is trashy and sci-fi-costume, and the skirt looks poorly finished and cheap. It's not the worst, but she let the others get in her head.

Candice

Candice is a micromanaging, patronizing, cheesy (the leading-by-inspiring nonsense in her talking-heads) bullshitter this week (their girl is from San Francisco? k?). Her look is garbage time, too.

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With more time, this could have turned into something; I like the fit, and the sueding effect on the purple looks expensive. But the waist is like she just gathered up the ends of everything and twisted it together with a scrunchie, then tacked it down. No bueno. And the placement of the top is confused.

Lindsey

It's a Fabio color story, with Billyburg normcore smugness substituted for Fabio's thoughtful whimsy. The top is decent, but the diapery pants just kind of...trail off.

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What's worse, she knows what she's doing to Ashley is shitty, but she does it anyway.

Kelly

Poor textile choice for the skirt, which is the Barney version of Willow's Pepto bedsheet in "Hush." It's very her, but her style is not mine, at all, and this probably should have gone home.

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Amanda

I want to hate it, because I almost hate her: the constant whining and workroom paralysis, the self-pity about ending up in the bottom every week. My notes include phrases like "pull it the fuck together or get on a train" and "bitch bye," so obviously I have zero problem with her ouster, which is overdue. Buuuuut I don't know that this is the worst look we saw.

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I might wear it if it didn't come in that granny peach; if it were ironed and didn't have an awkward U-neck; and if someone else had sewn it. It isn't a challenging design despite the visual drama, because to get that flag effect doesn't take much sewing or thought. In the proud tradition of PR Amandae, overstayed her welcome, but I thank the judges for correcting that situation. Now she can go home and use her own fucking scissors.

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