Ed Araquel / Fox

Are Prison Break's Michael And Whip Just Breaking Out Of Prisons All Over The Middle East?

And more questions sparked by the latest episode!

I have literally never watched a TV show before where the fifth season takes place a full eight years after the fourth season (and a movie), and where the protagonist somehow escaped death by brain tumor/buildings blowing up, so I feel like my questions here are not unreasonable. Let's get to them.

So what are these tattoos about?

Avid Prison Break fans will remember that the schtick from the first season or two was that Michael's plans to break out of Fox River were so complex, he had to resort to tattooing his body with memory prompts. And then, when he was out of prison, the problem of being a heavily-tattooed inmate on the run/an actor who had to sit in a makeup chair for hours at a time was solved by some sort of special secret government tattoo-removing technology.

So what gives with the new tattoos? Is Michael resorting to old tricks? Does he have access to the tattoo-removal machine too? Or will we discover that these tattoos are actually encoding some other information? I just don't know.

Are Michael and Whip just breaking out of prisons all over the Middle East?

There's a sequence at the beginning of the episode where Michael and his Sucre Substitute are shimmying through a utilities duct above their cell, and Whip mentions that he misses the good ol' days when it was just the two of them breaking out of places. So...why would you do that? What is the point? Is this to establish that Michael and Whip are a team? Because let me tell you something: Sucre is a sacred and integral part of the O.G. Prison Break crew, and if Michael tries this Sucre Substitute on us all, the only appropriate response is to scream, "You're not my real dad!" and then run to our room and slam the door.

How is Linc even still alive?

The whole "let's fly to a war-torn country where I cannot blend in and do not speak the language" thing aside, this is a dude who repeatedly demonstrates the survival instincts of a bug about to embrace a windshield. A child lurks outside his hotel door? Why, of course he's going to run screaming after a kid through the streets of a city he doesn't know, where he's never going to pass for local! Who wouldn't? We clearly have to wonder whether Michael faked his own death, fled halfway across the globe, and got himself thrown into a Yemeni prison so he would catch a break from taking care of Linc.

Why doesn't Dr. Sara just...take a break from marrying dudes for a while?

There's a moment where she's watching the video footage of Michael Scofield deny he's Michael Scofield, and Husband #2 rings, and it just demonstrates that maybe what this woman needs is 100% fewer spouses and 100% more girlfriends she can text with messages like "I think my first husband faked his own death to get out of the first seven years of raising our son. Is it legal to kill him Y/N?" and "Can you explain my own taste in men to me because I went from a whisper-shouting supergenius to a dude who has really suspicious timing when it comes to me talking about my ex."

Sara's one token friend is like, "Well, it's a thing, but we'll just politely chat in the carpool line, okay?"

What is up with Dr. Sara's second husband?

Because his whole speech about Michael is designed to make her doubt what she's heard: "In game theory, it serves you to be two-faced. Be everyone's friend 'til the moment you're not. Make them love you so much that when they're up against you, their own loyalty will act against their own self-interests. That's game theory. A cold rational focus on winning, even if it's at everyone else's expense....In true game theory, everyone is a contingency. You meet people, you bring them into your life, you keep them percolating until the moment you need to manipulate the relationship to your advantage."

Since Michael was a noted long-con mastermind, the fact that Jacob calls out how Michael manipulated Sara into opening a gate, regardless of whether or not she faced consequences, feels a little too convenient. I think the economist who laid out the cold exigencies of game theory may be engaging in some of his own.

What's up with Kellerman?

When last we saw him, he was a congressman. Was he swept out for being too moderate? Because that seems weirdly likely. In any event, he's at the State department now, and he's either remarkably clueless about who "Kaniel Outis" really is, or he's playing a long game to match Michael Scofield's.

Is it possible Michael has actually gotten funnier as he's gotten older?

Because when he's expositing on Ja's background, he manages to drop the lines "He's got the ashes of Queen's lead singer in his family room" and "He's a real mensch when he's not in withdrawal," and both lines had me on the floor in giggles.

How much foreshadowing can we stand?

Because when Michael uses a piece of gum to get the little kid to run messages around, he tells a doubting co-conspirator, "This piece of gum is going to start a sequence of events that will finish on the other side of the world." So you know that's where we're headed in the remaining seven episodes. The suspense is already building!

On a scale from "so much" to "entire new fields of math will have to be invented to measure this," how much do you think Sheba regrets dealing with Linc and C-Note?

Because this poor woman spends a lot of time being hassled by basically everyone, and there's been no payoff for her.

How much did you love it when Michael actually ordered a pizza from prison?

And it turned out that the pizza was being delivered to Ithaca with an origami flower reading, "Hide everyone. A storm is coming" -- aww! Game-theory-practicing creep or no, it's nice he's looking out for his lady. Although I do have questions about how both his handwriting and his fine origami skills happened to make it to Ithaca while he's still in Yemen. Fortunately, we have new episodes to answer some questions, right?

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