Eric McCandless / ABC Family

Pretty Little Liars Introduces A Secret Twin Sister Who Acts All Spooky And May Be Evil? Too Perfect!

Mary Drake is a big question mark, but that doesn't mean she isn't awesome.

Our return to the massively fucked-up world of Pretty Little Liars may have veered into Agatha Christie territory (everyone gather in the sitting room, drink tea, and we will have a secret vote as to who is most likely to have been the latest killer, preferably someone not in this room! Huzzah!), but this episode did bring us something soapy and fabulous: Mary Drake!

Sure, you could argue that the sudden arrival of a secret twin character reeks of bad soap opera (it does), or that the show has jumped the shark (debatable), but more Andrea Parker is never a bad thing, is it? We've missed her twitchy Jessica DiLaurentis, we really have. We desperately needed that bitchy, cutthroat edge to the show, because without it we were left with Emily being shitty to any girl who took a passing interest in her, and that was just a drag.

I especially appreciate that we are meant to understand that Mary, Jessica's twin and previously the babysitter from hell, is edgy because she can't stop with the eyeliner. I mean, this is verging on goth, '90s, sad-emo eyeliner. Clearly, anyone who does that over the age of 30 is squirrelly as hell, right? I mean, it's just super-aging.

Also pointed out at great length was the factoid that she also spent a lot of years in a mental hospital, just like everyone else in this crappy little town. Seriously, did Rosewood not get the memo that the mass warehousing of the mentally ill hasn't been on trend since forever?

Thankfully, the show filled us in on quite a bit of Mary's messed-up character. She's bought a motel that has the universal blinking neon sign of madness, she has oddly heavy luggage (we all know what THAT means…no, no we don't) and she likes to drop by the houses of people who probably don't want to see her. Now we just know she has an apple granny corpse sitting in a rocking chair waiting to be discovered!

Nothing bad happened when she visited Spencer, of course, but I'm still unclear as to why she'd want to see Peter and Veronica. I mean, she pretty much told their kid she knows they're kinda shifty. Since Jessica either turned everyone against her or never mentioned her at all to anyone (of course the grown-ups who could shed some light on all of this are on vacation!), does she really need to touch base, especially when she is (allegedly, supposedly) plotting devious plans against a good portion of the town? I guess it's just neighborly. "Hi, I was in the neighborhood and saw you were in. I'm planning to steal all the DiLaurentises' money and get payback for my daughter's death! Love that duvet on the bedspread I spotted while I was spying on your family from a safe distance. Yes, I'd love some Earl Grey, thank you!"

I expect, given the eyeliner, Mary is going to go full-bore crazy in short order, and the fact that she's been brushing up on her languages…actually, I have no clue as to why she needs to brush up on her languages. Are there really all sorts of computer espionage books that haven't been translated into English?, Anyway she's been busy and is apparently a self-taught devious mastermind. Considering women are sorely underrepresented in the coding and programming space, I think it's awesome. Women can be brilliant psychopath masterminds, too!

Mary and Elliot make a pretty charming couple as far as evil geniuses go, and maybe the Liars can just get Hanna back and let these two do their best. All the do-gooder problem-solving is getting a little tired, and it would be nice to have a villain whose only costume is a heavy-handed layer of make-up. Plus, Mary Drake sounds like the perfect name for a 19th-century serial killer, so there's that.

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