Eric McCandless / Freeform

How Is Everyone Else On Pretty Little Liars Falling Apart While Emily Is Thisclose To Having A Great New Girlfriend?

And more not-quite-burning questions about the latest Pretty Little Liars.

Do mental institutions really use muzzles? Or did Elliot just stop by Petco and pick one up?

I have so, so many problems with how Elliot functioned at Welby, because it sort of seems as if the facility threw him a set of keys, winked at him, and said, "Hey, anything goes with the crazies." Don't like Ali's looks? Drug her into a stupor! She doesn't react appropriately to your best creepy glare? Tie her down! This all started seeming a little American Horror Story, which isn't a bad thing, but I started to expect nuns and Anne Frank.

Why on earth is Hanna swallowing her boyfriend troubles?

It's not like she has anything else in common with her friends other than relationship drama. I get that we're supposed to understand that Hanna is on some kind of self-destructive, isolating spiral into eternal sadness, but that was a crazy nice ring and, oh yeah, a pretty great fiancé, too. The least she could do is bitch about it or make out compulsively with Caleb -- already burned that bridge, so might as well. But yeah, that would cancel out the "sad and isolating" part.

Did Toby get Hanna's old ring at a fire sale? Or is Pretty Little Liars low on props?

I know, they needed multiple rings for this episode (the $39.99 cheapie Hanna bought and the one Toby gave Yvonne), but seriously, wasn't there a ring that hadn't appeared in the previous episode? That being said, Toby is clearly stealing from the police department to be able to afford that much bling for Yvonne, and for a marriage that clearly is doomed to fail with this much stink eye already coming at him.

Exactly why does anyone at Welby have to deal with the Liars about anything?

While I have no plans to check into a mental health facility ever, I'm hoping that Pretty Little Liars gets almost every detail about them wrong. Isn't there doctor-patient confidentiality that would restrict a pal of the patient's from demanding an audience with upper management that would also restrict that doctor from discussing the patient's treatment with said person? And since when is mental health measured by "Oh, she's on Clozapine and her vital signs are good"? If he's going to prattle on about her health, he may want to do something more than check her damn pulse.

Were Toby's tools for high-level clay sculpting or an at-home lobotomy?

Maybe both? I'm guessing that the mold created for the latex mask had to be sculpted, but have we explained where Elliot picked up such amazing artistic talents? If I had to create a mask mold with some rusty old tools, Ali might have screamed in fear, but there's no way in hell she would have believed Wilden was dropping by. She might not even have believed a human was dropping by. I'd be lucky to recreate a Freddy Krueger Halloween mask, honestly. And couldn't Elliot get access to a 3D printer or something more high-tech that didn't require making your own liquid latex? This all seems a little too DIY craftsy to me. But hey, props to Elliot for some mad skills.

If everyone knows Hanna has been horribly traumatized, why the hell is she expected to run errands and go on fact-finding missions?

It's as if your best friend came back from a tour in Afghanistan and you threw a box of cake mix at him and said, "Your welcome back cake isn't going to make itself, you ingrate!" I know Hanna keeps saying she's okay, but she has not been wearing extremely overdone makeup! I haven't seen her with a smoky eye in weeks. How can her friends not realize something is horrifically wrong?

How is it everyone else is falling apart in Rosewood but Emily is thisclose to having a great new girlfriend?

Good for her and everything, but isn't she going to be getting out of this backwater soon? I mean, she won't, but isn't that what everyone says they want to do?

If Eliza isn't allowed to talk to the English, how was she able to play dollies with Charlotte for hours?

Eliza barely had time to show Hanna and Aria her creepy Barbies before her dad or whoever came barreling in, so I'm not sure how she was able to slink away for playtime, but okay. And Eliza clearly doesn't give a crap about the "not talking to English" rule, so I bet her Rumspringa is gonna be wild.

If Elliot Rollins isn't Elliot Rollins, who is he? And does it really matter now?

RIP Elliot, or whoever you are. And I am even less impressed with Welby for clearly not checking you out before you were given actual patients. It's not as if he was posing as the janitor. I have to wonder how he was treating anyone else on his roster. "Hey, here's an aspirin and let me lock the door. Maybe a nurse will remember to feed you. Toodles!" While Toby had access to police records, no one can convince me that a background check wouldn't have dug up his stolen persona, so Ali has grounds for a pretty awesome lawsuit, I think. I see a spinoff: Law & Order: Pretty Little Liars.

For Must See TV Week we list:

Must See TV characters who would have been a good choice to go through a windshield, Elliot-style!

  • Friends's Ross, because ten seasons of that whine was too much
  • Sam Sloan on The Single Guy, because "Yeah, like an emu" was never going to work as a catchphrase
  • June on Veronica's Closet, because we can tell a walking plot device that pops up as a Hail Mary as ratings flag when we see one
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