Byron Cohen / Freeform

Aria Made Ali A Welcome Home Casserole On Pretty Little Liars? For Real?

Alison's in a cat t-shirt and somehow it gets worse from there.

Welby is afraid Alison will sue because the powers-that-be let a non-doctor dope her up and almost kill her, so they release her to a former patient who may also want to kill her?

I'm pretty sure Alison has the hook-up for legal advice, so why on earth she would agree to these crazy bananapants terms makes less than zero sense. I'm completely sure that if Alison waggled a finger in anyone's direction at Welby and said, "You there, keep impinging on my rights and I will sue you out of existence," she'd be able not only to walk out of this shitshow of a mental health facility, but also ask for free limo service, a full-time nurse, and all the prescriptions she can eat.

Aria made Ali a welcome home casserole? For real?

I bet that when Ali peels back the foil, Aria has written "Sorry for thinking you're a homicidal bitch! XOXO" in shredded mozzarella and tears.

Given how much experience these girls have in evading jail time and lying to anyone and everyone, why on earth is Spencer doing her absolute best to look guilty of something as she tiptoes past a bunch of policemen?

For that matter, can these girls at least try not to talk about hiding bodies, cover stories, and destroying evidence while they're in public places? I am pretty sure if I hear someone muttering about where a body is buried the next time I'm at Starbucks, I'm going to at least get her license plate number when she leaves.

Aria did not just erase Nicole's call, did she? Seriously, that did not happen, right?

I don't care how many different ways Emily spins this, Aria's decision to not only keep this a secret from Ezra but also to delete the call entirely pretty much guarantees she's alive, she's coming home, and she's going to be pissed. But hey, join the growing number of people who would like Aria to be put throw a wood chipper, Nicole! You may have to wait a while!

Given how many girlfriends Emily has had on this show, could she for once stop acting weird around at least one of them?

If Sabrina is so unclear on how Emily feels about her -- thanks to massive weirdness for no reason -- that she thinks Ems wants to dump her when she actually wants to propose another date, maybe it's time to take a break. Be friends. Study more. Just stop being weird. Gah.

First Spencer needed time. Now Spencer doesn't need time and Caleb needs time. WTF is wrong with these two?

Oh, and Spencer has to toss in a dig aimed at Hanna suggesting she still has feelings for Caleb, which she has long disputed. But we have to drag this out somehow, right?

Isn't it kind of weird that two girls who have been in the orbit of the Liars are permanently disfigured?

Maybe they're just hanging out, talking about how they've adapted to being blind and horribly burned. Maybe one is describing what's in this month's Oprah magazine and the other is flipping the pages. And okay, maybe they're drinking and possibly connecting with Elliot and friggin' Noel Kahn and planning to torture the Liars until they devolve into quivering lumps of neurotic goo. This is like the world's worst high school reunion ever.

So, if you have a girlfriend who is about as jumpy as a cat on a long haul plane ride whose sedatives wore off in hour one and you demand she come over to your place to talk immediately with no explanation, this is a good way to set her up for a marriage proposal? Asking for a friend.

I was kind of waiting for Aria to smack the snot out of Ezra and tell him to cram his stupid engagement ring because he does not know her at all if he thinks ominous surprises are fun for her, jeez.

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