Eric McCandless / Freeform

All Eyes Were On Ali's Jacket On Pretty Little Liars, And Not Just Because It Was Deeply Unflattering

So much drama, so much latex, and none of it sexy at all.

Was that really a major plot point built around that stupid jacket?

A.D. apparently had to punish Ali by giving it back to her, but that doesn't mean she had to wear it. She could have just told her friends she was hanging it in her closet until it came back in style, or she could have taken a picture or something as proof of life. It's just not a good look. That crazy cat-lady shirt she wore a while back was better, and that's saying something.

How can Rosewood afford to give anyone 24-hour police protection?

I mean, this is a small town, isn't it? If anyone wonders why the elementary school can't afford books this year or complains that the street potholes are the size of bison, they should blame the Liars because their shenanigans are using up all the resources, always. I know Rosewood has to be unreasonably rich, like Hamptons-in-season rich or Silicon Valley rich, but the Liars would exhaust NYPD, even if an entire borough of cops were at their disposal. In addition to running around willy-nilly killing people, burning people, blinding people and getting people institutionalized, they also flip flop between bugging the police endlessly for more information and sending them on wild goose chases to muck up their case files. These girls redefine high-maintenance.

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Does Hanna even want to start her business?

Because she is about as professional as Yeezy after a pitcher of pina coladas. Not only does she whine to Lucas, who is trying to give her money and office space and, oh, a future; she complains he won't do all the "boring" stuff for her and promptly disconnects the call when she sees that Aria is trying to get in touch with her. If Lucas isn't eventually revealed to be a crazy, obsessive psycho who wants to wear Hanna's skin as a suit, I will be sorely disappointed. The only other reason to put up with her shit is he's totally gutless, and somehow that's even more depressing.

Do Spencer and Marco seem as bored by their inevitable future hook-up as we are?

Spencer was very thoughtful to clear the air with Marco, although he didn't seem to care too much. Actually, as she stumbled over her words and backpedaled frantically so that he wouldn't think that she thought that he was desperately in love with her, I was half expecting him to ask her who she was and whether she was feeling alright. I've seen less chemistry between pebbles and corn tortillas.

So, Archer isn't alive, but someone knows he's not alive and is able to conveniently impersonate him, sit around in the woods waiting for the Hanna and Spencer to show up with their ever-ready shovels, create a fake cop mask, get access to a cop car, and kill Sara?

A.D. either needs to be a team of hyperactive middle school students being controlled by a Google creative team, or...actually, that's it. Even ten reasonably sane people couldn't do this much work.

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Caleb and Spencer are done because what now? That stupid kiss with Hanna? Isn't everyone over that?

Spencer needed time, then Caleb needed time, and now it's over? Just like that? We barely had a minute to get used to them being a couple. C'mon! Honestly, I think the whole point of this relationship was just to see these two character cry every other episode.

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Even though Aria's legal now, it's okay for us to still be a little grossed out she and Ezra are getting married, right?

I'm going to go with yes on this one.

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Why didn't Mary Drake just ask for the stupid angel necklace?

Even if the story about how her sister stole it is just crap, she might have wanted to spill it to Ali to see how it went over, just for kicks. No more lies, lying liars who lie! Unless they're strategic!

Ali's head got shoved neck-deep into a mirror, and not only did it not kill her, she only had scratches? WTF?

If this can be chalked up to Ali doing the 100 layers of foundation challenge or something, excellent! We now may have a prettier alternative to Kevlar vests and football helmets!

Can A.D. teach a class on painting, sculpting, and pouring convincing latex masks?

There are some bank robbers and cranky celebrities who would absolutely invest, I'm sure of it.

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