fyi

What Exactly Does Tom Have To Give Up For His Married At First Sight Second Honeymoon?

And more not-quite-burning questions about 'Forsaking All Others'!

What exactly does Tom have to give up for his big second honeymoon?

Because yes, with one more week left to go in "the experiment," Dr. Pepper is sending the two couples that are still speaking on what she calls "second honeymoon" but seems more like a one-night staycation, possibly because all these people have already blown off work enough for this nonsense and have run out of personal days. On a Skype call with Tom and Lily, she brings up the matter of Lily's use of electronics for work and strongly urges Lily to curb it on this trip. First of all: I already dealt with this last week. It's great for Tom that his job affords him the luxury of ignoring client calls and emails outside business hours. Lily is a real estate agent, and doing as Tom does would be an effective way of LOSING ALL HER BUSINESS. I can appreciate that Lily didn't have to consider her work-life balance when she was single and didn't have anyone else's feelings to take into account, and that she might sincerely want to break those habits now. I would just like to hear her say that kind of thing more herself, because right now it seems like it's something Tom bitches about and makes her feel guilty.

And THEN Tom gets the bright idea that their destination should be someplace in Florida that they can drive to on the bus. Poor Lily could not look more miserable as the idea of the Bahamas gets downgraded to hours in Tom's mobile bachelor pad. Without air conditioning. And dares to call her "high-maintenance" and "prissy" because she hates HOW MUCH IT SUCKS.

Tom's trapped her in a sweat lodge. He doesn't even have a co-captain's chair next to his so that they could, I don't know, have a conversation like a couple of human beings. She's not supposed to use her phone AND she's not supposed to acknowledge her own sensory experience of her environment? Can we see Tom compromise on ONE FUCKING THING here? I can't even start on Tom's claim that the bus is his "identity." You're married now, Tom. Pick a new affectation. I recommend a dumb hat.

We're about done pretending Nick and Sonia are equally culpable for the issues they're facing in their marriage, RIGHT?

Another episode, another 75 minutes of Sonia getting pressured to move back in with the guy who SAID HE DID NOT LIKE HER. But to hear Dr. Pepper tell it, they're both to blame: "her leaving, his inappropriate words." You mean the "inappropriate words" that caused her leaving? THOSE ONES? Every time someone tells Sonia she should move back in with Nick, she should add a week to her timeline -- if she ever moves back at all, which I don't necessarily think she should do. Nick is a jerk.

Who thought there was a better than 50% chance Nick would pass the dress test?

On their second honeymoon, Nick and Sonia actually get to stay in a proper hotel, and Sonia has packed what she calls her "freakum" dress to wear to dinner. You may recall that Nick failed to compliment Sonia's looks on their wedding day, so clearly, this bombshell look is a test of how far Nick has come in terms of consideration for the effort she puts into her appearance (and/or appreciation for the opposite sex, cough).

But Nick actually does react correctly. Except for the fact that as soon as she sees how much she's turned it out, he still escorts her to dinner in his stupid jeans and hoodie like a sulky high school sophomore. Add another week, Sonia.

Can someone please explain to Lily that promoting Tom's happiness is not entirely her job?

On this road trip to a place Lily's never cared to go, in a ramshackle vehicle with no air conditioning, Tom has lined up a snorkeling trip, apparently with the knowledge that Lily is not a big fan of the ocean. I might be biased here because I also hate swimming with fish, but I feel so much for Lily as she gears up and prepares to step into the water, trying to ignore her own misgivings: "Tom does love the water and I want to make him a happy husband." That's a very laudable sentiment; certainly all spouses should make each other's happiness a priority. But does Lily get that Tom can do some activities on his own? Or with friends who also enjoy them? Being married doesn't require a couple to be joined at the hip and do everything together. Maybe Tom and Lily could work out some kind of system where Tom goes surfing while Lily talks to her clients! Everyone wins.

We're not actually supposed to think Lily's being unreasonable by ignoring Tom's "medical" suggestion, are we?

A few weeks ago, we learned that Lily has a shoulder injury that will require surgery. Over dinner on the road trip, Tom asks how her shoulder was with their activity earlier, apparently in order to segue to a pointed question: asking whether she'd be interested in talking to an "alternative medicine specialist, to give [her] the spiel of what they do." "Honestly, not really," says Lily, with an impatient tone that makes me wonder whether this wasn't the first time Tom's brought it up -- just the first time he's tried to trap her with it on camera. "You're not even willing to give it a chance," Tom pouts. "I went to medical school in Nicaragua, Tom," Lily replies, but I don't think that's really a requirement for winning this argument. Lily's not looking for someone to advise her on which supplements to take to deal with her gluten sensitivity: she needs surgery. This is probably past the point where some shaman's salve is going to solve her problem. Furthermore, if Lily really has been to medical school and Tom knew that prior to this conversation, then maybe he should be seeking her advice on questions of wellness -- or at least believing her when she tells him that she's gotten dehydrated from the lack of ventilation in his STUPID BUS.

Readers liked this episode
What did you think?

Discussion

Explore the Married At First Sight forum or add a comment below.