How Can Anyone Say 'I Take Marriage Seriously' When He Works On Married At First Sight?

And more not-quite-burning questions sparked by 'For Richer Or Poorer'!

If Lily wanted to find "that special kind of happiness that you can only find with the love of your life," why is she on this show?

I have no reason to think Tom certainly isn't the love of Lily's life, but as she herself keeps reminding us, she just met this guy, and so far, he's still basically a stranger. If she wanted a "love of [her] life," she would have spent a little more time trying to find him; as it is, she's not even halfway through her twenties yet and now she's LEGALLY MARRIED (whaaaaatever) to this guy. I suppose I understand that she wouldn't tell the truth -- that the potential danger inherent in the experiment is causing both Lily and Tom to experience a kind of sustained adrenaline rush that's carrying them through it -- because it would make her seem less sincere than she would like to appear. But happiness with the love of your life is something you seek yourself; you don't Taskrabbit it out to a few "experts" who just met you. Lily's in this for the adventure -- and, maybe, to be able to say she's the kind of person who'd do something like this -- and we all know it.

"I want to be open with her about everything"? That's your angle, Tom?

Actually, that one may be legit, if the whole sentence is "I want to be open with her about everything, including -- or, really, especially -- that I live in a bus -- but producers keep making me hold back from telling her because springing it on her will make for better TV." And I guess it was? For a second. But it turns out the bus actually is fixed up much fancier than those few shots of it from the premiere suggested, and Lily's not actually a princess. Like Lily, I probably couldn't live in it long-term -- and I don't even blow-dry my hair more than a couple of times a year -- but it sure beats that shitty trailer from Arranged.

Is Nick fooling anyone?

"I want to be married because I'm ready to settle down," he tells us this week, and yet every moment he spends with Sonia, he still seems both mournful and paralyzed with fear. Let me be clear: I am not suggesting that Nick is a closeted gay man. I would have no way of knowing that. But the more time we spend with him, the more it seems like he did this because he wanted to get his mom off his back with regard to whatever he was doing in his personal life that he either couldn't tell her about or of which she would not approve, and that he is tense all the time because it was and always has been a mistake.

I will, however, note that it's a rare thirtysomething straight dude who comments that what he wants to see when he goes to his lady friend's home is "just, like, how she lives -- her style." And it's a shame that this is the one he got matched with because Sonia's apartment has about as much character as an Extended Stay America.

I'll also note that even Sonia comments on how much "face cream" Nick uses.

And I will further comment that Nick is evidently capable of physically expressing affection: we see that he's very loving with his dogs, so much that Sonia is jealous of how much he lets them kiss on him. It really does seem like Nick is scared of making Sonia like him too much because he doesn't want to lead her on. But why is he not, so far, even acting like he's open to the possibility that their marriage could turn into a real relationship? Tossing off shit like a suggestion that they might have "kids or whatever down the road" ("...whatever"?) is not working on me. Nick certainly doesn't seem like he thinks parenthood is something he and Sonia are ever going to try to do together.

But also, are the experts setting Sonia and Nick up to fail with this match?

In "The Weddings," Sonia told Nick she was a little afraid of dogs, and maybe that's how she phrased it to the experts, too, and they figured she meant it. But it turns out that's not actually the case, as we learn when Sonia's on the verge of meeting Nick's dogs: in fact, she is "deathly afraid of dogs," she tells us. THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT BEFORE NOW. It's a big deal! It's not fair to Sonia to put her in a situation where she can't feel comfortable in her own home. But it's even less fair to Nick to put him in a position where he's supposed to choose between the happiness of the dogs who've been the only family sharing his house since he got them (as far as we know) and this broad he just met. Whichever one of them is "supposed" to compromise for the sake of the storyline, they both look bad, through no fault of their own. A dog owner should not date a woman who is scared of dogs, and under real-world conditions, a dog owner probably wouldn't date a woman who is scared of dogs. If this basic shit is obvious TO ANYONE, how did it slip past the "experts"?

Heather couldn't even go home and take a shower before this session with Pastor Roberson?

Maybe it's just me, but when I get off a plane, I want to get out of my plane clothes and take a shower immediately. Airplane travel is such a sweat-making activity, from the low-grade tension of making it through TSA to the temperature extremes between the gate and the plane itself; you're also jostled around so indecently close to so many strangers. My point is: it's gross, and no one would be more likely to have developed a set of post-plane rituals to make herself feel human again than a flight attendant, which is why I really, REALLY feel for Heather when we find out that she has been made to come to this check-in with Pastor Roberson directly from the airport. Of course it's not going to be productive: she would feel disgusting even if she hadn't been forcibly crammed next to this guy she kind of hates for the entire day!

So, yes, of course Heather comes off badly in this session, and does seem like she's given up on Derek and on the whole experiment faster than anyone ever has before, because she's been sent there under such challenging circumstances. I also think Derek makes Heather look even worse because he's more calculating in front of the cameras -- particularly here, where he repeats his line about wanting to be married so that he could change for the better in the relationship (which: that's a lot of pressure for his wife). Heather doesn't want to say she'll commit to Derek -- and I certainly hope she told Pastor Roberson where to shove his "people don't get breaks from marriage" because SEPARATION, HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, but that it just got cut -- she wants to go home and wash off this day and this trip. Furthermore....

How can anyone say "I take marriage seriously" when he works on Married At First Sight?

Give us all a break, Pastor Roberson. THIS SHOW DOES NOT TAKE MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY, and if you did you would have nothing to do with it. But then, I guess fyi's not exactly recruiting the best of the best: see also Dr. Pepper starting a sentence with "Me and the other experts." At least she never claimed to be an expert in English.

The show doesn't require participants to sign prenuptial agreements?

I suppose that anyone who had significant assets to protect probably wouldn't risk them in this nonsense in the first place. But Tom's suggestion that he and Lily sign a postnuptial agreement just opened up so many more questions. Is he just saying this for the camera to support the fiction that these are "real, legal marriages"? Because if they are, shouldn't the show require participants to sign prenuptial agreements before the weddings? It's not like they'd have to do it together and spoil the at-the-altar first meeting. I wish so much that any other media outlet with the resources to do a real investigation would do one on this show, because I have so many doubts about how legal the marriages are. (I mean, despite what Pastor Roberson tells Heather -- "No matter what happens, this will be on your record as having been married" -- if she and Derek haven't had sex, can't they just have the marriage annulled? Wouldn't annulment be a viable possibility for any marriage that lasted less than a fortnight?)

Maybe instead of washing his feet every night before bed, Tom could just get slippers?

Or would the idea of having shoes he only wears in the house be too MATERIALISTIC?!

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