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Tanisha: Living Monster On Earth Or Only Reason To Watch Marriage Boot Camp?

Stephanie and Tara discuss this week's screamy, fiery episode.

Our Players

Hello, I'm contributor Stephanie Green.
Hello, I'm West Coast Editor Tara Ariano.

The Talk

I think we all had fun with Tanisha's over-the-top scream rage in the first episode. But now we've arrived at Episode 2 and I'm pretty sure she should be in jail.
I'm conflicted about Tanisha. On the one hand, she's insane and she committed battery (I'm barred in California; I can say this with some authority!). On the other hand, I totally am on her side when she gets into it with Gretchen. Sometimes I can see Tanisha's point? Does that make me a monster?
You're not a monster, and I hear you on Gretchen. While I'm sure that Tanisha and Clive's screeching fight(s) did make everyone uncomfortable, I really doubt that Gretchen came downstairs and CRIED about it. Like, the alleged therapists are already on the case, Gretchen. It's not necessary for you to tattle. And as to the fighting: whatever, people fight, and it is annoying when one's spouse sucks at packing -- particularly in this situation, where it seems like it would be a hassle to get, like, a shuttle from the mansion to JC Penney to buy Clive socks or whatever. But where Tanisha lost me was when she complained about how ANNOYING it is that CLIVE IS GOING DEAF.
OMG, I know. Poor Clive! And how tone deaf (pun intended) was it for Elizabeth to bring up the old "What I heard you say" device when the fight at hand was literally about how CLIVE CAN'T HEAR??
HAHA
Also, Gretchen and her extra-small fire suit need to butt out of everyone's business.
Oh my god, the extra-small request. What a dickhead.
Gretchen's -- excuse me, White Oprah's -- tendency to try to give people relationship advice in this context is like when Gary Busey was on Celebrity Rehab and thought he was there as a consultant. You're not a consultant. You're not helping.
Yeah, I think anyone's willingness to take Gretchen's advice on anything would have evaporated when Elizabeth pointed out what it means when a dude gets a vasectomy -- that he DOES NOT WANT KIDS -- and Gretchen's response was surprise that she'd never thought of it that way. Why did you think he got a vasectomy, lady? Just so someone ELSE would shave his balls?
Oh, yeah, Gretchen's logic about wanting to have a child with someone she so clearly can't stand strikes me as...not great? She's all, "Let's spawn and THEN work out our crippling relationship and financial issues." She is truly the worst. And I include Tanisha in that calculus.
I'm not sure I'm prepared to go that far, but Gretchen is pretty bad. And Slade seems to have zero interest in working anything out with her. I guess he likes being on TV a lot. Speaking of which, my favourite moment of the episode was when the boot campers were told they were about to have evaluations and they were all like, "WHAT?!" Because, clearly, none of them watched a second of the show before they got here.
Ha! And yet they were all confident they'd get great reviews from Jim and Elizabeth. Especially Trista, in her faded boot-cut jeans. Sorry, I hated those jeans. They offended me.
Trista is a Colorado housewife who has given up on life, and it shows. She doesn't need Marriage Boot Camp, she needs What Not To Wear. R.I.P.
Now you've gone and brought up What Not To Wear and I'm going to start actually feeling feelings. So, do we think Roger and JWoww are exaggerating their sexy-times problems for the cameras?
It seems like a weird thing to lie about, but maybe? I will say his advice about not borrowing his socks was something I won't soon forget.
It DOES seem like a weird thing to lie about, but it also seems like a weird thing to tell the truth about. I was more disturbed by the revelation that Roger has "broken" three laptops.
Oh my god, yes! What is he actually doing with them? Or...on them?
You're not supposed to spill liquids on them, Tara. Yeah, I went there.
...ohhhhhhhh. I guess I was thinking he was ADD and wearing out the trackpads? And honestly, who's to say we aren't both right.
We're probably both right.
Meanwhile, there's another couple, apparently? Who cares. Traci and whatsisface are going to be fine; they just wanted to hang out in a mansion for a couple of weeks.
Oh, yeah, I give zero cares about Traci and Kevin.
Meanwhile, there's another couple, apparently? Who cares. Traci and whatsisface are going to be fine; they just wanted to hang out in a mansion for a couple of weeks.
Oh, yeah, I give zero cares about Traci and Kevin.
Traci cares so little about all of this that she brought what is CLEARLY a fourth-string wig.
I was so confused when that "co-director" lady Ilsa started talking today. I feel like that was the first time she opened her mouth/was shown on camera, but maybe I just wasn't paying attention. I was all, "Who's this bitch giving advice?!" I just assumed she was half of another couple I had missed.
No, I think you're right. I feel like the other two are just there for legal reasons -- by which I mean to act as witnesses if Tanisha attacks Jim with a chair, and when I say "if," I mean "when."
Oh, Tanisha. She's such a mess. And yet I am so grateful for her presence on this otherwise snore of a show!
It's really true, she's the only one who seems to realize she needs to inject a little zazz. I wish I could have seen the shot of the hallway as all the PAs tried to tackle poor Ryan as he went into Tanisha and Clive's room to tell them to STOP fighting.
She also has zero qualms about looking like a heinous monster on TV, which helps. And Ryan's "intervention" was some weak sauce, IMHO. He was like, "You guyyyssss? Stop fighting???"
He seemed like he might start crying!
I mean, I think we all would have wanted to cry if we had to face an angry Tanisha, but at least PRETEND, Ryan.
He knows he doesn't carry the weight of any kind of authority when he walks in underneath that haircut.
Amen. I'm not sure Tanisha even knows he's not a PA.
The world is Tanisha's PA.
Truth!
So, winner of the week is clearly Tanisha, for getting the most camera time. Loser of the week...Roger, violator of laptops?
Roger's laptops would be the clear loser in that scenario. But I would say Clive was the bigger loser this week. He got battered by his insane wife on TV, for starters, then berated by said insane wife for being deaf.
But by the end, she did say she wanted to nail him.
Progress?
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