Screen: Bravo

How Long Did It Take Sarah To Send Manzo'd With Children To Reform School?

Shudduppa Cafface!

High-Profile Show Attempted: Manzo'd With Children

Topic: Caroline Manzo, the elder stateswoman/voice of (relative) sanity on RHONJ, has gotten spun off into the sitcommier Manzo'd With Children, in which she and husband Al preside over the "hilarious" "antics" of their three grown children.

What nobody is going to say in so many words onscreen, which has the unfortunate effect of making it that much more obvious, is that this is the only way well-meaning bad finishers Albie, Chris, and Lauren can make a damn living -- or that Chris Laurita can hope to recoup his losses on blk.

How Far I Expected To Get: Not far. I don't dislike the little Manzi, but the RHONJ subplots devoted to making their various ill-starred fetches happen were consistently the most boring and labored in the parent show. (My subhed aside, Cafface is in fact a pretty decent idea -- but it's not the first business handed to Lauren by her parents/the show, though one suspects it's the last once she's married.)

That, and the ads leading up to the premiere focused on the knee-slapping hijinks of the fam, meeting Albie's girlfriend, contrived trapeze lessons, blah blah blah. Comedy is not a strong suit of, well, Bravo, and even a half hour devoted only to that, with the pointedly burbling clarinets, seemed like a long time indeed.

And how.

How Far I Did Get

4:02 (out of 31 minutes)

What Did It: Practically the first scene is the brothers congratulating themselves on having "a gay best friend before it was trendy," followed by Lauren -- who's trying on wedding dresses for Glamour -- wondering who wouldn't want a gay man along on such an occasion. Uh…the gay man? Because he's not a pet, and he might think sitting around in bad lighting while you get laced into meringue after fugazi meringue for twenty minutes each time is boring, because it usually is? I mean, sometimes it's great, but this isn't the show that's going to capture the fun. #FreeGreg

Plus, Lauren says the photo shoot makes her feel like Carrie Bradshaw. Girl, did you watch that movie? You remember how that turned out for Carrie, right? Maybe consider a vintage white suit and a trip to the courthouse?

…So, yeah, unsurprisingly I hated MWC immediately. Dull, strained, crappy, clueless. Hat tip to Caroline for negotiating a plum sinecure for her whole fam, but I can't with that.

Worth Taking Another Run At It? Not even if you have a crush on Albie.

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