Examining Bob Benson's Résumé

Mad Men

BOB BENSON

Objectives

Seeking a position in publishing, advertising, insurance, inside sales, medical transcription -- really, any Manhattan-based white-collar operation with an office around which I can loiter, looking handsome and ingratiating myself.

Summary

I am only 28 but I have packed more exciting, diverse experiences into my young life than you would expect from a midwestern Preppie type (and some you would, like first-class travel to Europe). I feel my unique talent for being right in the middle of the action -- even when no one around me is entirely certain how I actually got there or who asked me to -- coupled with my good looks, agreeable manner, swimmer's build, seven inches uncut, and ready smile, would be an asset to any organization.

Education

Beloitte Colege
B.A., Marketing

1958 1960 1962

Wartin School Of Biz
MBA

1959 1961 1963

Employment History

Sterling Cooper & Partners
Account Manager
Servicing clients like Chevrolet and Ocean Spray with alacrity, pleasantness, and muscular vigor; routinely make myself available for meetings over drinks or Cobb salads at any hour of the day or night; supply refreshments no one asked for at meetings I'm not invited to.

1968-present

Brown Brothers Harriman
"Executive Assistant"
In the employ of a very powerful older man who was an invaluable mentor to me, I did things in the office like get him coffee; turn my back and move my hips a lot as I stirred in his milk and sugar; answered his phone; picked up his pens and pencils if he accidentally knocked over his pencil cup which is why I was under his desk a lot when his colleagues would come in; some filing; accompany him on overseas travel and do his filing on those trips as well; collatio; lots of other tasks as assigned.

1965-1968

Random Haus Publishers
Sales Assistant
All kinds of typical office stuff like taking notes at meetings, sharpening pencils, picking up people's lunch and dry cleaning, squat thrusts, teaching senior staff members how to whistle, sorting the submission slush pile, drafting correspondence, distributing towels.

1964-1965

Freelance
For a variety of clients, performed a range of odd jobs, including small engine repair, house painting, personal security services, personal escort services (for ladies), nude modeling for art classes and bodybuilding/nudist magazines.

1957 1963-1964

Professional Skills

Double-entry bookkeeping; ballroom dancing (Foxtrot expert); deep-tissue massage and reflexology; classic movie trivia; valid driver's license.

Languages

Spanish; Greek.

References

Manolo Colon, Brown Brothers Harriman

KL5-3793

Manny Coleman, State Farrm

KL5-3793

Manfred Croydon, Vandelay Industries

KL5-3793

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  • http://glark.org/ David T. Cole

    This makes me crave an appearance of Bob Benson in cartoon form in a flashback on The Venture Bros.

  • TaraAriano

    I'm sure he could make himself useful to Colonel Gentleman.

  • dustdevilliz

    "Collatio," hee.

  • Lindsey

    Sure, but has he assumed the identity of a casualty of war, convince the dead guy's widow to go along with it, and lucked into an advertising job by randomly encountering an ad exec who was too drunk to know the difference? No? He just made up a fake resume and applied for a job? Piker.

  • Jeannie Shmina Greenwald

    Vandelay Industries? Brilliant.

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