Liane Hentscher / FOX

It Turns Out The One Sin Lucifer Can't Quite Parse Is Jealousy

In a move that might shock Biblical authors and modern theologians alike, Lucifer turns out to be remarkably incapable of comprehending jealousy, much less experiencing it. But know what he is good at? Solving crimes, especially crimes of passion.

Aside from wasting Jim Rash's guest appearance -- he's in all of one scene and it's more of a showcase for Tom Ellis's comic chops than Jim Rash's own prodigious talents in that arena -- this is a solid romp of an episode. The case of the week revolves around a murdered therapist who had advocated infidelity as a relationship-builder, thereby providing a surplus of motivated suspects, but really, it's an opportunity to throw together Chloe and Dr. Linda and have them get along with one another, to Lucifer's growing horror. Also, he tries to grok "jealousy" and it's still a near miss.

But the real news of the episode? Is that Dan is even more of a rat bastard than previous suspected: Not only has he let his separated wife twist in the wind during this whole Palmetto/dirty-cop ordeal, we find out that he's the dirty cop that Chloe's looking for. It'll be interesting to see whether Lucifer figures this out first and gets his theories dismissed because of -- you guessed it -- jealousy.

And now, the progression of the episode's most noteworthy developments, in chronological quotes.

  1. "Without my wings, I feel reborn. It's my rebirthday party!" – Lucifer to Maze.

    They're in the bar, which should be condemned by the health board for its infestation of Cirque du Soleil knock-offs, but is instead presented to us as some sort of happening party. (Side note: A lot of the wings the party guests are wearing came straight from Target. I recognize them after a December shopping trip to outfit a pinhead of angels for a holiday pageant.)

    Maze is not having any of this, sniggering, "Reborn? As who?" Lucifer snaps back, "As anyone I want to be."

  2. "The partner who did not die…'cause Heaven didn't want him and Hell couldn't keep him." - Paolucci.

    This line -- uttered at the Cop Bar Party where everyone is welcoming Officer Malcolm back from Outer Comatory -- is spoken by someone who is unaware of how true is actually is, on account of Amenadiel deciding Malcolm should stick around for a while. But the seething resentment in Paolucci's face as he delivers the line more or less suggests that if Chloe and Dan are serious about finding the dirty cop that set up Malcolm's attempted murder, they should look about two-and-half feet in front of themselves.

  3. "You could fix the detective…heal her douche fixation." - Lucifer.

    In therapy with Dr. Linda, Lucifer rejects the idea that he's jealous of the relationship Dan and Chloe share(d) and concludes the problem must be with Chloe, not with him. Unsurprisingly, Dr. Linda is not on the "fix other people to bend them to Lucifer's will" train, mostly because she's also dealing with her own jealousy over Lucifer's fixation on Chloe. That jealousy percolates into a rolling boil once Lucifer beds a judge (to convince the judge to make Dr. Linda the court-appointed expert on the case of the week) and Dr. Linda sees Chloe and Lucifer's banter in action.

  4. "If ever anyone has earned a participation trophy, it's Dan." - Lucifer.
    The Prince of Lies is also the Grand Duke of Diss. If enjoying how much he loathes Dan is wrong, I don't want to be right. (Also worth noting: Chloe does not leap to Dan's defense here.)

  5. "I find that people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives, terrified of not being in control. But that's not you, I'm sure." - Dr. Linda.

    Maze may be good at manipulating people via their libidos, and she certainly excels at inflicting bodily harm, but it turns out that being an ancient handmaiden to the Lord of Flies does not prepare you for 21st-century headshrinking. Once Maze recognizes that she could stand to learn something from Dr. Linda, she smiles, "I like you," then proceeds to needle Lucifer by letting him know that she's now friendly with his shrink. I like you, Maze!

  6. "I'm not the enemy, Chloe. But whoever we were investigating? They're still out there, and they clearly don't have a problem shooting cops." - Malcolm.

    This exchange highlights one of the most glaring weaknesses of the series: The contention that Chloe is supposed to be some sort of dogged investigator with good instincts. She walks into an ambush in her home (Malcolm got dispatch to tell her that Dan's phone was dead and he'd meet her at home), Malcolm points out that it's taken him all of a week to conclude that a cop shot him and he's curious about how both Chloe and the shooter knew his whereabouts, then he concludes that she'll be useless if he keeps digging. Through all of this, Chloe makes her best "Take Me, A Former Actress Turned Detective, Seriously!" face, but on a show where Rachael Harris can take down a succubus with a devastating assessment and Lesley-Ann Brandt can make a sidelong glance suggest that you've just been knifed between the ribs, a few pouts doesn't pass muster.

    Anyway, Malcolm confirms that Chloe's right about his shooting being dirty, drops a few lines that suggests he's better police than she is (nobody's disputing you there), then claims he's dropping his own inquiry. Hands up, everyone who believes him.

  7. "She was going to throw poop at me?" - Tiffany.
    "This isn't about you, Tiffany!" - Lucifer.

    Putting aside for a moment the very real concern that "Satan crashing your group therapy session devoted to your dead therapist" is the kind of thing that results in deep psychological trauma, it is really hilarious how Lucifer subjects this entire group of cheater-therapy patients to a monologue encapsulating the events of the past seven episodes, and then gets worked up when they focus on details like, "So you're the devil?" and "The wings are a metaphor, right?"

  8. "The woman you loved was with someone else, someone who wasn't worthy of you. But no matter what you did…she never saw you the way you wanted her to." - Lucifer.

    Full props to Tom Ellis for playing this moment with two different things happening at once. First, Lucifer once again manages to make someone else's pain all about him, what with solving the murder-of-the-week offhandedly while trying to figure out the whole point to jealousy. And second, he realizes exactly what his issue with God has been all episode and it's a revelatory moment for him.

    Of course, he grins a minute later, "I just realized your situation and mine are nothing alike! I'm not jealous!" It's a brilliant deflection away from the Chloe thing, and a great way to fill in some of the reason he's holding a huge grudge against his creator.

  9. "At least you can see what he's thinking." - Lucifer.

    It took eight episodes, but Chloe finally realizes that Paolucci might have known where Malcolm was that day courtesy of a GPS system, then concludes that -- gasp! -- he might be the dirty cop! But when she hunts him down to the cop bar The Paddock and goes inside the closed bar (thanks, Lucifer, for opening the door), she finds his body set up to look like he ate a shotgun. Lucifer weighs in on the discovery with just the right thing to say.

  10. "How long did the confession take you to write?" – Dan.
    "Forever! I'm so not a word guy." - Malcolm.

    Proving that he's learned nothing about the value of honest communication during his trial separation from Chloe, Dan drives off to meet secretly with Malcolm. To the great surprise of nobody who watches any TV whatsoever, Malcolm is the one who killed his fink partner Paolucci and staged it as a suicide, but the twist is that it turns out DAN is the one who actually shot Malcolm. (Although, the two men imply, Paolucci was also dirty and somehow implicated.) And now that the two of them are bound by mutual guilt and secrets, more corrupt-cop hijinks are going to ensue. Let the Kevin Alejandro Death Count Clock commence ticking!

  11. "Who is this human world rubbing off on -- you or me?" - Lucifer.

    Once he's figured out that Dr. Canaan is really Amenadiel, it takes Lucifer no time to realize that Maze is the one who sent Amenadiel in Dr. Linda's direction. He informs her in no certain terms that what she did was selfish and boundary-violating and "you and me -- we're done." The episode ends with Maze looking devastated.

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