Father Issues Are So Unattractive, Lucifer
Someone is still smarting over his pop's plans, and he lets it cloud his judgment on everything from murder investigations to family dinners.
So the three big plot beats for this week all revolve around Chloe and Dan to some extent: there's the murder of the week (a celebrity chef is poisoned); there's Chloe's mom whooshing back into her life for an episode; there's Dan refusing to go along with the whole "Let's kill Lucifer" plan Malcolm is advancing.
(Honestly, that "Let's kill Lucifer" plan had better not rely on stealth; Malcolm's been eating constantly since coming back from Hell, and you can probably smell the fried food from a block away.)
And yes, the crime gets solved -- 'twas not the junkie son who poisoned Daddy, but the surrogate-daughter sous chef who was pissed that the prodigal son came back and then, whoopsie, the plates got mixed up and somehow the writers missed a dozen opportunities to weigh in on the whole point to the prodigal-son story and how Lucifer would feel about it.
And yes, Chloe and her mom have predictable arguments and end up hugging it out because this show's budget is probably only big enough for one Rebecca De Mornay episode, so we had better get the emotional catharsis in under 59 minutes.
But for me, the highlight of the episode was seeing Mazikeen decide to make friends -- and picking two of them in some very unlikely places. I am rooting for her, I really am.
And a secondary highlight of the episode was watching Lucifer unspool as he realized that his daddy issues are pretty much out of his control, and he had better find a new way to cope with living in a world created by the one being he's furious at 24/7.
"This is a crime against good taste, detective! Someone definitely needs to be punished for this." - Lucifer.
He's not wrong, and if Lucifer can effect any positive change in the LAPD, let it be in crafting and ratifying a comprehensive code of crimes against good taste.
"There's so many reasons to commit murder. Don't let your [eye-roll] daddy issues cloud your judgment." - Chloe.
Score one for Chloe! All she wants to do is figure out which one of these desperate, approval-seeking restaurant staffers killed the celebrity chef, and she refuses to consider Lucifer's hypothesis that whomever wanted Daddy's approval the most would have done so.
"I'm stuck in a place I don't belong, and I'm not going anywhere any time soon. I need to figure out how to be more…normal." - Maze.
Dr. Linda's office is going to be stripped for religious icons, like a Splinter of the True Coffeetable and suchlike, after word gets out that she's giving one ex-angel therapy, hanging with a second active-commission angel, and fielding therapy requests from a third divine being, Mazikeen.
Kudos to Maze for recognizing that she needs to find tools for coping with her forced relocation, and kudos to Dr. Linda for telling Maze to begin feeling at home by making friends.
"Look at you two, like Cagney and Lacey." - Lucifer.
It's adorable how much Lucifer loathes Dan, and how open he is about it. This extends to a later scene where he's nonplussed to learn that Chloe's entertaining thoughts of getting back together with Detective Douche.
"You're not the one being tormented. It's 'Oh, God' this and 'Oh, God' that - He's popping up everywhere and spoiling all my favorite things!" - Lucifer.
Someone's daddy issues were on full display this episode.
"Is this a Shirley Temple?" - Trixie.
"Sure." - Maze, dropping a cherry into the glass of straight whiskey she's put in front of Trixie.
I could not give a crap about this child's ability to use Uber, how she feels about people fighting over her, whatever. But it is delightful to see who Maze chooses to connect with in her quest to feel more at home.
Trixie shares that she wants to be a zookeeper, and Maze wistfully says, "I used to be a zookeeper. Of a sort," and that's when you know these two are going to get along just fine. Later, Maze reports back on her making-friends progress to Dr. Linda, and after Dr. Linda says perkily, "Maybe the next friend will even be drinking age," Maze invites her out.
I loved this subplot. Go, Maze, putting together your #squad and pointedly leaving Chloe off the roster.
"Junior…was spectacularly unhelpful. He didn't escape his father because he turned into him. That doesn't apply to me at all!" - Lucifer.
Lucifer had invited Junior to make dinner for Chloe, her mom, Il Douche (Dan) and Trixie, and the dinner devolves into massive familial quarreling, all topped off by Junior sobbing that he's spent the last year kicking the junk because he wants to be the chef his father always wanted him to be. Lucifer, who had liked Junior solely because the young chef represented someone who had broken free of their overachieving father's reputation and influence, reacts accordingly.
"The devil gets burned by a fire. Could this be more ironic?" - Lucifer.
Surprise, surprise, Satan can walk through flames, even while carrying Chloe dramatically. And how did they get there? Because the sous-chef lady set a pan of oil on fire as a sort of final "If I can't have the restaurant, nobody can!" gesture. Junior's all, "Hey, now this is mine," which is kind of a headtrip when you consider that "this" is busy burning to the ground, but one presumes the deceased had very good insurance.
"You were right. Lucifer Morningstar is insane, and dangerous, and he deserves everything he gets." - Dan.
"I guess he got tired of being called a douche," I cackled to nobody in particular when watching this part, but really, the line's the prelude to a swerve because although Dan loathes the Lightbringer, he's too upstanding to help Malcolm along in his plans to murder the man. In fact, Dan even goes so far as to attempt to subdue and arrest Malcolm. Since the other man has been carbo-loading like whoa since his revival and has the bonus incentive of wanting to avoid a return trip to Hell, it's a matter of minutes before Malcolm's successfully squeezing Dan's throat.
It's not readily apparent whether this gig now joins the long list of "roles in which Kevin Alejandro has died" or whether Dan was merely rendered unconscious, but the upshot is, Malcolm is still feeling murder-y and mischievous, so he grabs Dan's phone and uses it to torpedo any hopes of reconciliation with Chloe.
"We don't all turn into our parents, detective." - Lucifer.
Chloe comes reeling into Lucifer's place after getting a text message she thinks is from Dan (but is actually from Malcolm), gets her girl-drink drunk on, then attempts to kiss Lucifer. He actually stops it -- to their mutual surprise -- and when Chloe realizes her behavior is more like her attention-seeking mother's, this is how the Prince of Darkness consoles her.