Screens: NBC

Livia Soprano Is Santé Kimes, Except She's Doing It With Her Son

And other updated loglines from Law & Order's ninth season.

  • While Van Buren's Lawsuit Complicates Everyone's Lives, New ADA Abbie "No Deals For Anybody; Let's Hang 'Em All" Carmichael Grimly Pursues Everyone Involved In A Brokered Russian Baby's Death; McCoy Can't Decide If He's Impressed Or Annoyed
  • The Louima/Jasper Texas One, But This Time Artie Bucco Is An NYPD Shitbag Instead Of A Civilian One
  • One Of The Black Donnellys Gets Aired Out Because José Zúñiga Is A Bad Snitch Manager
  • Colin Sweeney Bio-Terrorisms His Own Kid To Death So He Can Ditch J. Smith-Cameron And Run Off With His Mistress And The Money They Embezzled; Special Guest: Skoda's Diffident Mustache
  • The Serial-Killer Quadruple-Cross
  • Mary Kostrinski Is Back To Fight Her Ex's Widow, Kim Warner From Yes Dear, Over A Batch Of Frozen Embryos While Sarah Wonders Who Lisa Eichhorn Has Naked Pictures Of That She Keeps Getting Cast In Memorable L&O Episodes When She's More Wooden Than A Dugout Canoe
  • Livia Soprano Is Santé Kimes…Except She's Also Doing It With Her Son
  • You're Supposed To Agree That Dr. Faye Miller Is Justified In Putting A Hit On Her C.O., But Cara Buono Plays Her Like Such A Bratty Dick, You Totally See Why Carmichael Jammed Her Up In The First Place
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  • Gold-Digging Mellie Grant Has A Bunch Of People Killed, Hides Out In Canada With Her Dad William Rawls
  • Before Christopher Moltisanti Shot Him In The Foot, That Bakery Counter Boy Was In A Hitler-Youth Gang That Killed A Girl
  • A Cheaty College Student Killed A Community Activist Because Of Affirmative Action
  • An Otherwise Boring Ep About Out-Of-Control Bounty Hunters Features Briscoe Punching One Of Them In The Face And Bubbles Providing Key Intel
  • Briscoe & Curtis & Munch & Sheppard
  • St. Michael Told Ex-Nun Ruth Fisher To Exorcise A Kid To Death
  • Speaker Of The House Bob Birch: Unethical Doctor, Even Worse Ex-Husband
  • Office Holt McCallany Don't Know Nothing About No Partner Shooting Her Abusive Ex-Boyfriend (Except That He Did It)
  • Billy Batts Did 20 Years For A Murder Committed By A Brother And Sister Who Are Married In Real Life
  • Jay O. Sanders Shoves His Estranged Wife's Friend In Front Of The A Train When She Realizes He's John List -- But If She Was The Acting Coach For This Episode, His Prosecutor-From-Shawshank Lawyer Should Argue Justifiable Homicide, Because Ooooo-Fah
  • The Julia Roberts One
  • The Case Of Cousin Larry And Joe Piscopo's Mobbed-Up Strip Joint
  • Russian Mafia Mishegas, Part I: "That Girl! She Has Heart Like KGB"
  • Russian Mafia Mishegas, Part II: Dead Witnesses, Money-Laundering, Bomb Threats, And A Touching Goodbye Between Lennie And Rey

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