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Raylan Heads For The Hills, Along With Everyone Else
Outlaws and lawmen chase each other through the hills in Justified's bloody penultimate episode.
Plot Lightning Round
Still in his cop drag, Boyd pulls over a motorist and commandeers his vehicle at gunpoint! Given the trials that Shea Whigam went through back when he played Eli Thompson, that someone with his face in the current day would have this happen to him just feels right!
Art's shown up to collect Earl when Tim draws his attention to the other things Raylan left for them: his badges and ID! Art: "Jesus Christ, Raylan!"
Raylan trudges up a hill to find a burly, hairy fellow of the sort you'd pretty much expect to see if you googled "mountain man"! The guy asks whether Raylan remembers his name, and based on Raylan's response -- "I remember you had aim to throw me down a mine shaft" -- one might surmise that these two know each other from Raylan's time as a miner! I am good at context clues! Raylan asks what this guy, Cope, is doing on this side of the mountain, and he says there's no water on the other side, which means there's nothing for Cope to hunt! Raylan advises him to keep moving on, since there's a fugitive on the loose! "Give my best to Cousin Mary if you see her," Raylan adds, so I guess they're not just mine pals, and when Cope says, "She passed"...
...Raylan draws, and orders Cope to tell "them" to come out with their guns pointed at the ground...
...and sure enough, a bunch more armed, hairy weirdos materialize from the trees! They don't really give a shit when Raylan tells them to put their guns down -- even if he'd had his badge, there's something about them that makes me think they don't pay much attention to what representatives of the federal government would prefer them to do -- but Cope silently signals them and they comply! Raylan tells them to walk down the hill for an hour or so: "He'll catch up with you soon, if he don't do something stupid."
Chez Grubes, Zachariah is walking around the property testing the ground with a shovel! (He says he's digging a grave...but is Grubes all he's burying???) (I'm conjecturing that he's also burying the cash.) Ava is furious and panicky and pretty much zero help! She wants to get the hell out of there, but Zachariah points out that Grubes laid in a six-month supply of food and water and that holing up there is a lot more appealing than dragging their probably hundreds of pounds' worth of cash back down to try to find another hideout! "I can't keep this up!" shrieks Ava. "Yes, you can and you will, 'cause that's who we are," Zachariah replies. "Born in these godforsaken hollers, to a goddamn broken-down world: we're survivors." To her ongoing protests, he replies that they're not going to have to spend much time there anyway: after a couple of weeks, the marshals are going to assume that they went to Virginia! When Ava says she's worried about Boyd showing up, not the marshals, Zachariah tells her they definitely have nothing to fear from him: "Boyd is dead. If he ain't dead, he's in jail. We'll be safe here for a while." Oh, Ava, you should have read A Simple Plan before you tried any of this shit!
Walking along with Raylan, VERY much against his will, Cope comments that he doesn't see a badge, and guesses that Raylan's pursuit in the hills on personal business! Raylan says that Cope knows Raylan's quarry -- "You put me in a box with him" -- and that now he's a fugitive. Cope says it sounds like Raylan should have let Cope kill him at the time, and Raylan jokes, "Thought has crossed my mind." Cope tries to relate to Raylan by telling him the story of the coyote none of his dogs could catch, but Raylan's not interested, and tells him to get up the hill. "You know, after we tangled, Cousin Mary told us all about you," says Cope. "Turns out I remember your daddy: he's a son of a bitch." Raylan's like, duh. "You know what he did?!" barks Cope. "Historically or on a specific day?" Raylan snorts. Well, it seems Cope was related to Raylan's late mother, and that Arlo exploited the connection to get Cope & Co. to move Raylan's drugs around the mountains, because -- and you may not know this -- but Arlo was not a great person! Cope has decided that Raylan is also tainted by his connection to Arlo, and Raylan shrugs that, sure, he is also a son of a bitch...
...and then kicks Cope's leg out from under him before he can advance on Raylan! And then I guess Raylan decides it's time for them to part company, and after he checks to see if Cope's going to send his people after him ("They'll kill you for your boots," says Cope, which doesn't seem terribly reassuring), Raylan asks for Cope's notebook and starts writing! Cope doesn't get it, so Raylan explains: "In a couple days, you're going to come to Arlo Givens's place. He's in the book. I'm signing it over to you....He did you people dirt. This is payback. I've been using that place as a bullshit excuse. I don't need the money from selling it; I need to find Boyd and get to Florida."
I guess I remember my Howards End a little better than Raylan does because I'm not sure a document scrawled in pencil will necessarily hold up under legal scrutiny! Cope still doesn't get it, so Raylan spells it out: "In case I don't make it down." Hands up, everyone who thinks Raylan will literally die on this hill? Yeah, me neither.
That Quote"I'll always love you, Katherine, but you need to know, I may be talking to a ghost, but I'm still a practical man. I'd love to gut Wynn Duffy from nose to tail, but I've got to go and get my goddamn money."- Avery Markham -
A Wizard Did It
The Best Lawyer Drug Money Can Buy
At the marshals' office in Lexington, a couple of guys lead a cuffed Wynn in to the conference room where Vasquez is waiting to say some last farewells and go through a box of Wynn's personal effects from the RV: some kind of document, in a plastic sheath, related to Billie Jean King ("A pioneer" - Wynn); a tube that Wynn says contains prescription toothpaste; and an Eagle Scout knife Vasquez is surprised Wynn ever earned, so Wynn has to correct him: "It belonged to a dear friend." As for the RV itself, Vasquez says that if Wynn can wait a couple of weeks, he can have it back, but Wynn's good: "That they can have....Raylan Givens, Boyd Crowder, and Avery Markham are soon to converge, Mr. Vasquez, like the aligning of the planets, if those planets carried guns and hated my guts. I don't ever plan on returning to Kentucky." Before Wynn goes, though, Vasquez has a question about Simon Poole: "Who killed my boss?" Wynn, jauntily picking up his box, chirps, "Between you and me, Mr. Vasquez, I really and truly don't know." Boy, they're really giving a lot of build-up to the solution of this murder of a guy we never met....
...but also, how is it that Wynn is not getting transferred to federal custody right now? When Wynn comes in, Vasquez says that was the plan, but that Wynn's got "a damn good lawyer," so now he just gets to wander out? Are we sure the person who made this happen for Wynn is not a lawyer but A WIZARD?!
Another Crowder On The Lam
Zachariah and Ava are in the middle of their digging when a voice on his radio reports that Boyd has escaped custody. Cue Ava losing it.Of course! [throws her shovel and flops down onto the ground, laughing hysterically]What the hell are you laughing at?It's a joke! Don't you get it? WE'RE DEAD![to himself] We got to do something.We're gonna run! Hell yeah, let's RUN!Do you know your way around this goddamn mountain, little girl? 'Cause I sure as hell don't!Forget about the mountain! We gotta go back down, we gotta, I don't know, find one of them abandoned houses and hide out!Federals kicking in every goddamn door, dogs running around sniffing around, they'd find us in no time.You got a better idea? Else we're dead.Yeah, I got an idea. We're gonna sit right here. We're gonna wait. When he shows up? We're gonna kill him. The end.That is not gonna be our end. 'Cause staying here is suicide.
Love, Hate & Everything In Between
Bros Before Average Joes
Boyd's hijack victim -- who never gets a name, so let's call him TK -- has brought Boyd to his house and outfitted him in some of his son's clothes, and as Boyd explains why he needs TK's time and not his truck, it comes out that TK knows exactly who Boyd is: "They put out your greatest hits, it'd be a double album." "Shit, double live, man, from Japan!" crows Boyd delightedly, since now he knows he and this random citizen have something important in common: a shared love of Boyd! "Hell yeah, all killer, no filler," says TK, tongue-bathing Boyd by telling him he's the nearest thing Harlan's got to Billy the Kid: "Shit, son, you're smart, articulate, strong -- the way you look, way you talk, ain't nobody expect nothing from you. Then you unleash, and they cannot deny. Ain't too much to call you a hero." Nothing would make him prouder than to give "the outlaw Boyd Crowder" his truck! But because Boyd actually is as smart as this dude gives him credit for, he doesn't change his plan: they're looking for Boyd, not TK, so TK's not done yet -- he's going to have to drive. But given how close these two have grown, I'm guessing Boyd's planning to hide from the law by riding with his head in TK's lap!
Lowest Of The Loretta
Alert Type: Strong-arm Alert.
Issue: After Boon hid in her car and creeped her out last week, Loretta's enlisted her old boyfriend and current henchthug Derrick to bodyguard her while she hides out from Boon (and, by extension, from Avery) in one of her barns.
Complicating Factors: Loretta is jumpy and Derrick is an idiot, so when they hear something get caught in a trap they set outside, they both look out to see what it is, both looking away from the barn's only point of ingress -- and Derrick is even less help after Boon shoots him (non-fatally).
Resolution: Derrick's been bleeding for a while when Avery shows up and scolds Boon for leaving him like that. Boon sarcastically asks if he was supposed to take him to the hospital, and Avery answers by shooting Derrick dead. Then he turns his attention to Loretta, explaining that he sent Boon after her because he's looking for Ava, who's obviously connected to Loretta's new business partner -- Avery thought Loretta might know where Ava went. Loretta says this is the first she's hearing about Ava lamming it, and Avery, pulling up a chair, says he believes her (which we'll get to), and that he doesn't need her anymore (which we'll also get to), so maybe she'd like to tell him why he shouldn't kill her? Loretta's got her answer aaaaaaaaaaaaall ready. He could kill her, and take all her land. But if he does, there'll be costs and a time investment he can't anticipate. Instead, she can offer Avery a partnership! She knows all about growing in the area; her having ties to Harlan also means she knows whom to trust, and can tell them they should trust Avery. And boy, does this work on Avery. "First time I saw you, I liked you," says Avery. "Didn't much care for what you did at the Pizza Portal. But I saw something in you. Reminded me of Katherine a little bit. More than that, reminded me of Mags Bennett. I could use a Harlan girl in my fold. Besides that, I know Boon here is sweet on you."
Don't break your wrists washing your balls or anything, Boon: I still don't think that's happening.
Spoiler: More like speculation: I feel like this may be a "keep your enemies closer" situation for Loretta and that Boon's not making it out alive.
Vasquez is still on the warpath in pursuit of Raylan, and when Tim enters with Earl, Vasquez gets in Tim's face and holds up a bulletin about Raylan. "Well, when a marshal's life is in danger, we put out a bulletin saying so," Tim drawls. Vasquez just regards this as evidence that Raylan's gone rogue and all the marshals are closing ranks: "Everybody in here is an accessory to a $10 million heist!" Well, the Marshals aren't the only ones who can call authorities and put out threatening papers: Vasquez calls the FBI and orders a BOLO on Raylan. BOLO? OH, NO! Tim gets on the horn.
DialogueOh hey, Art, what's up.Oh, you know: scouring the countryside for Dumbass. You?Well, I just had Vasquez [which he pronounces "VAS-kwaze"] pissing in my ear about the bulletin so it looks like we can't keep the whole "Raylan Givens gone rogue" thing in-house.Well, he sniffed that out sooner than I thought.I think he just trashed Nelson's desk, too.Well, how'd you leave it?Well, he's on the phone now. ...'Fact, I just heard him tell the FBI ballsack to issue a BOLO.Shit.I just heard him say he wants Raylan indicted.Double shit.
Plot Lightning Round
Bob (remember Bob?) calls Raylan in the hills to tell him about the BOLO! He opens his garage and, seeing it empty, assumes Raylan's taken his town car! But he has another car and he's going to track the GPS in Raylan's phone! To the Gremlin Of Justice!
Raylan creeps up on Grubes's cabin with his gun drawn, and opens the door to see Zachariah just chilling in a rocking chair waiting for him! "You ain't Boyd," says Raylan. "Neither are you," says Zachariah. Each thanks the other for not shooting him, which is gracious, Zachariah adding that he knew Raylan wasn't Boyd because he could see the crown of Raylan's hat through the window: "Boyd don't wear no hat." "Where's Ava?" asks Raylan. Oh, editor!
There's Ava, running down the hill, wearing a smallish knapsack on her back, and shrieking into the phone, "I'm running out of time!" You got that straight, we only have like another hour and a half for the whole series!
Life Is Like A Box Of Napalm
Who called the meeting? Wynn.
What's it about? Oh, you know. Mayhem.
How'd it go? Wynn is waiting on a bus stop bench when a totally basic-looking woman comes and takes a place beside him, whereupon he places his order: "I need a vehicle, a gun, and two passports. I want the vehicle to have a compartment, well-hidden -- and I mean top-shelf hidden, not some twenty-year-old Astro with a false bottom." It needs to have room for -- you guessed it -- two or three very large duffelbags. When she asks after Mikey, Wynn takes a pause, and then steadily tells her, "No, Mikey's not going to make it." Ideally, Wynn says, he'd like a dog grooming van. The woman says she could paint a van to look like that, and he says no, he wants a used one. "It's not easy," she says. "By tomorrow," he replies. She says that'll cost him triple what he paid last time, which is no problem: he uses Mikey's Eagle Scout knife to cut open his tube of "prescription toothpaste" and pulls out what appears to be Katherine's diamond tennis bracelet and her engagement ring, handing them off and telling her, "Keep the change." Anything else? Sure: a topographical map of Harlan County. I hate meetings as a rule? But this one's textbook.
Bob's Not Your Uncle
While Raylan's up at the cabin satisfying himself that Zachariah really doesn't know exactly where Ava went (while Zachariah accuses Raylan of being as bad as Boyd and contributing to the scrambling of Ava's brains), Ava's flight from Grubes Manor ends at the car Raylan "borrowed" from Bob...where Bob is waiting. He tells her to kneel and interlace her fingers behind her head, and after he's determined that she hasn't seen/killed Raylan, she starts trying to work her angles.You know there's a lot more money where that came from, don't you?I'm gonna take mercy on you and I'm not going to add attempting to bribe an officer of the law to your long list of offenses. Before you try to seduce me, just know it's been tried before.
TK's driven Boyd to the foot of Grubes Hill and, apparently, resigned himself to the idea that Boyd's going to kill him -- but when he says as much, Boyd denies it: maybe he'll just let TK walk home! TK keeps talking, saying he figures Boyd's going to shoot him in the back so he doesn't have to look TK in the eye: "I knew the minute you stepped in my cab I was going to be staring down the black hole of your gun. Cut me down like the plague you are." Boyd finally figures out how it is, and congratulates TK on all that smoke he blew earlier. TK grits that stories about Boyd's heroic exploits aren't passed down by the families of those who are murdered, like a Huck McKean. Evidently, this is all pretty banal from Boyd's perspective, and he sneers that this Huck must have been killed by Boyd, or his men or drugs or dad, and next TK's going to ask him how he sleeps at night: "Well. Do you know how? 'Cause I know who I am. Do you? You're a slave: disenfranchised, don't even know it. You drive this shitty truck to your shitty house, live out your shitty life. You think you're better than me 'cause you play by the rules? Whose rules? My life is my own." "You ain't even heard a word I said," says TK, in a kind of wonderment. "I don't give a shit about what you said," spits Boyd. "I'm an outlaw."
So, farewell, TK. I guess that'll teach you to...drive on that road.
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Fight! Fight! Fight!
Raylan vs. Boyd
Well, this whole slow-motion chase through/around the hill was leading up to this: Boyd and Raylan getting close enough to each other to see and therefore shoot at each other. Raylan gets off the first shot, sending Boyd scrambling to take cover behind a tree. He screams at Raylan, "How'd you know I wasn't some Boy Scout looking for his camp?!" and Raylan yells back, "Your teeth glow in the dark." It's funny because it's true! Exchanges of gunfire are broken up with a mix of tough talk and real talk -- Boyd suggests that the next time the moon comes out, they should "show it down." "Now you're talking," says Raylan. When Boyd says he doesn't know where Raylan is, Raylan mutters, "I don't know where I am either." I see what you did there, show. But then, the real talk: Boyd asks why Raylan wants to kill him so badly -- the idea that Boyd must die is a lie Raylan tells himself, according to Boyd. "You are the world-conquering emperor of lies," says Raylan, "the biggest reserved for yourself." "Just say it, Raylan! 'I WANNA WIN!'" Raylan laughs that Boyd just wants the money, and to kill the woman who stole it from him and, oh yeah, also shot him and left him for dead. "You don't know what's in my heart," says Boyd. "What heart," sniffs Raylan. "You don't know what's in your own heart," says Boyd...which is possible but would be a drag for Raylan's baby if true! "You've given up everything you are so you could murder me," says Boyd. "I cross the line with my eyes wide open," Raylan replies. "Whose eyes you gonna see when you kill me, Raylan? Your daddy's?" "Not anymore," says Raylan. Boyd then uses Raylan's kid against him -- which, yes, I just did too, but not where Raylan could hear me -- asking rhetorically what she's going to do when she learns that her father spent his whole life trying to "walk the line" only to fail. Raylan thinks she'll live on her own, like everyone else. Is Raylan sure he doesn't want Boyd to kill him, and give him a hero's death? It makes a better story, he suggests. "This is the only story here tonight," says Raylan. But then they both hear some yelling, and Boyd asks whether Raylan thinks that might be Bob. FUCKING BOB. Off Raylan goes to investigate, so this will have to wait.
Winner: Draw! These two aren't at the end of their story quite yet.
Wrap It Up
Ava creeps up to the only bridge in Harlan, where she's apprehended by Crosley, the crooked cop from last week, and one of his evil cohorts! She tries to buy them off with money -- if he turns it over for evidence it'll be gone, but if he lets her go he can have it -- but they laugh that they're not taking her in to the station: they're taking her to Avery Markham! As they lead her off, she fishes Dewey's necklace out of her pocket and drops it on the ground behind her! So whom was Ava talking to on the phone before and did he or she sell her out?!
After his scuffle with Boyd, Raylan makes his way down the side of the mountain and finds Bob! And he's been shot!
Raylan drives Bob to the hospital! Bob, because he's a Patton Oswalt character, asks Raylan to quiz him on nerd trivia to keep him conscious! Raylan's expression above should tell you how ready he is to do so, and Bob nods out before Raylan gets a chance anyway! As Raylan calls in Bob's injuries -- he's been shot in the gut and shoulder -- he also asks the operator to link him up with the marshals' task force and tell them he knows where Boyd is! I mean...ish?
Zachariah sees a figure move past the window at Grubes's place and readies his shotgun! The doorknob has barely turned before Zachariah shoots through the door!
Assuming (reasonably) that he's taken out his opponent, Zachariah comes outside, whereupon he gets shot in the leg, by Boyd! "Where is she?" barks Boyd. "She ain't here," Zachariah snaps. Boyd doesn't believe it and starts bellowing her name, which is Zachariah's cue to start railing against the many crimes of the Crowder family: "Boyd Crowder! Bo Crowder, Bowman Crowder: y'all part of the same big ol' pile of shit! Like to beat on the weak ones, don't you! You son of a bitch." Boyd says that Zachariah thinks he's protecting Ava, but he isn't! The way for Zachariah to protect Ava is to get Boyd the money before he gets to Ava! Zachariah? "I'd sooner die than give you anything you want."
And then Zachariah opens his coat to show he's strapped up with TNT and he blows himself the fuck up!
But BOYD ESCAPES!
At the hospital, nurses help Bob out of the car. Raylan, thinking his work here is done, turns...
...and sees two cops with guns drawn. "Raylan Givens?" one asks. "Don't suppose you'd believe me if I said no," he drawls. Oh, Raylan. Your reputation precedes you, and I mean your reputation for having a HOT ASS!
DUNNNNNNNNN OMG IT ALL COMES DOWN TO NEXT WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!