Watch Future Jimmy Kimmel Sell You On 'Death Alert' On Jimmy Kimmel Live
Unlike those other death-related bracelets, this one promises no false positives.
Jimmy Kimmel is well aware that celebrities who age often go on to sell weird products (ahem, Alex Trebek). He decided to cut to the chase and film a commercial that'll air in the future for Death Alert, a product that informs your next of kin that it's time to collect your lifeless body. Let this commercial be a lesson to everyone -- never leave your bassoon at the top of the staircase.