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With Friends Like These, Jessica Jones Might As Well...Get Badly Injured

Being a superhero sucks when you lack proper backup.

Look, Jessica Jones may not have had the best plan to destroy Kilgrave? But she did have a plan. Of course, the best plan would have been to say, screw this noise, and then book the hell out of there for someplace sunny with a general populace that didn't speak English. (I'm guessing compulsion doesn't work if you don't understand the words?) That would have been a really, really good plan. Maybe not a TV show, but a good plan nonetheless.

But no, Jessica's all superhero-y and well-intentioned and thus has to make some grand plans to save the day even if that inadvertently gets a lot of people killed. But that so isn't her fault in this episode. It's as if everyone in her orbit got together for brunch and said, wouldn't it be crazy if we, like, played with Jessica's plan as if it were a giant game of Jenga until the whole thing fell apart and Hope was dead in a puddle of blood on the floor? Hahahaha! More mimosas, please!

Given that almost everyone in this episode did his or her part to ruin Jessica's plans (and thus allow the first season to run longer than ten episodes), here's the ranking of who fucked things up from least to most.

  1. Jessica's PTSD
    It could be feebly argued that having been sexually degraded by Kilgrave, Jessica has a more personal commitment to smushing him like a bug than most superheroes. Saving the world is fine and dandy, but making your rapist curl up in a puddle while listening to audio of his childhood self screaming like a feral cat = priceless. That being said, having a healthy need for vengeance, preferably by disembowelment, while making yourself stick to the superhero rule book kinda sucks. Of course, with all Hope gone, so is the rulebook, so there's that.
  2. Wendy
    Poor Wendy. Even after Kilgrave gave her license to get even with Hogarth (death by a thousand cuts looks like so much work), she just can't catch a break.

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    Wendy's death-by-coffee-table doesn't really directly mess with Jessica's life, but I'm sure there will be trickle-down effects. At least this is one death Jessica doesn't have to feel personally responsible for. Yay!

  3. Pam
    Pam has focused all her anger on her slimy girlfriend (did she just now notice that Hogarth's a lawyer?), but didn't anyone else want to yell at Hogarth to simply point out that Kilgrave compelled her to take him to a damn doctor? Yes, the larger truth is she wanted the divorce papers signed, but maybe she shouldn't have taken the opportunity to inform Pam it was all kind of her own damn fault. Hogarth is the worst, best-dressed girlfriend ever.

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    Also, I guess the legal system does not give you points for keeping someone from carving up another person.

  4. Booze
    Really, Jessica rarely seems sloppy drunk (let's forget about that time she sat in the trash bags on the curb feeling sorry for herself).

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    But even superheroes need functional livers.

  5. Hope
    Hope hasn't been underfoot, being in jail and all, but as Kilgrave pointed out, her mere survival made Jessica play semi-nice.

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    Hope got it. Poor kid.

  6. Trish
    Trish is really more hero than sidekick, and she's absolutely the best person Jessica could have in her corner. The problem is that Simpson, when he isn't messing up EVERYTHING, can't leave her the hell alone to get shit done.

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    Also, Trish's optimism totally throws off Jessica's timeline this week.

  7. Albert
    Jessica may have gotten another body for her guilt list when Kilgrave had his mom stab herself to death, but Albert is the font of exposition we sorely needed.

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    Kilgrave is a virus (I am not going to question the science of transmission here, because comic logic) and Albert is just so close to a vaccine! Not close enough to keep him safe, but close. Still, Jessica is probably going to jump through hoops to save Albert, too.

  8. Malcolm
    Sigh. Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.

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    I know these drippy group counseling meetings are your only source of relief, as you probably robbed any real friends for drug money back in the Kilgrave days, but dude. Public place. Don't go confessing sins at a diner. Also, instead of getting Jessica to open her door to a wall of crazy, maybe call her to warn her that Robyn has whipped the therapy group into a frenzy? Let her figure it out for herself? Gah.

  9. Hogarth
    FFS, ROLL UP YOUR CAR WINDOW, WOMAN. Hogarth did a lot of things in this episode that made me nuts, but this was the main one. Roll up the radio, blast the stereo, done.
  10. Simpson
    He completely screws Jessica's plans to use Clemons to back up her story. Almost kills Albert. Oh, and he's still high as a kite. Is he ever going back to work, by the way? Because he is ruining everything, always.
  11. Robyn
    Ugh. Yes, Robyn misses her brother and his little toes, but how the hell did she manage to get the therapy group guys all rage-y against Jessica? Of course she assumes Kilgrave is a hostage and doesn't tell anyone she's about to do the DUMBEST THING EVER by ripping off his duct tape. And I thought she was just an annoying neighbor!
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