Meet Jessica Jones's Cage Heat
Can we interest you in a cocktail?
|Weight:||230 pounds of muscle.|
|Education:||Step to me and you'll get one.|
|Seeking:||Solace in the wake of my wife's death via bus crash. Uh, I mean "women." I'm not interested in married women, but it's not like I'm going to ask you a lot of questions, so all you really have to do is put the ring in your pocket and belly up to my bar.|
|For:||Immediate, rough, apartment-wrecking and damage-deposit-forfeiting sex.|
|About Me:||I have (practically literally) abs of steel, and I'm willing to destroy a perfectly good power saw just to prove it. I tried to be a hero once, but it didn't work out. Being a hero just puts a target on your back. So if that's your trip, you're welcome to it, but it's not mine. And just to get this out of the way, I'm black. This isn't a racial thing, is it? Just kidding.
No, but seriously: is it?
|About You:||You're gifted like me; you might not have the exact same gifts that I do, but you'll understand what it's like to be special. One thing's for sure: you presumably won't actually be responsible for the death of my wife while you're under the mind-control of a guy named Kilgrave. The whole notion of mind control sounds ridiculous to me, no matter what's going on with Trish Talk today.|
|In Relationships, I...||...promptly replace the bed we'll break, and then text you to let you know it's ready for another round. Not that we'll be having sex only in the bed.|
|On Our First Date, We'd...||..."Date"? Take it easy. You know what this is.|
|Contact Me If...||...you get your shit together. Like I said, I'm not going to ask you a lot of questions. And next time, bring your own toothbrush.|
What did you think?