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Jane The Virgin Needs To Get Rid Of Michael...Permanently

Haley Chouinard is not a crackpot. She just thinks it's time to kill off Michael so that Jane The Virgin can evolve past its gimmicky love triangle.

Jane The Virgin has never been kind to its characters. For every happy moment, there is a terrible, abuela-getting-pushed-down-the-stairs moment. It's a telenovela, after all. So, when Jane and Michael finally got their beautiful wedding in the Season 2 finale, the audience knew something traumatic had to happen to balance it out. Right before the newlyweds were about to seal the deal, Michael decided to go get ice (like a dummy) and wound up getting shot by a crime lord, because this show is bananas. Michael's death was foreshadowed in the first season, when JtV's quippy narrator said that Michael would love Jane "until his very last breath." Showrunner Jennie Snyder Urman taunted viewers after the finale, saying that this could be how Michael dies or that it might come later. While I know that killing the title character's brand-new husband might seem like a bold (or bad) move, I hope that Michael is dead.

I am not a crackpot. I just think the show is going to have trouble evolving if Jane and Michael are married and the only way to undo that -- besides a painful divorce, which would be very out of character for our good Catholic protagonist -- is for Michael to die.

If Michael survives, we are faced with two likely scenarios. The first is that he is miraculously fine. Injured, sure, but not in mortal peril. Which means that he and Jane would consummate their union and live happily ever after. If that happens, it would mean that our leading lady, who is in her early twenties, is married for the rest of the show's run. This eliminates any chance for her to have any other love interests, outside of an infidelity -- which, again, seems unlikely given Jane's Catholic faith and personal morality. That would mean that it really was the end of the romantic road for her and her baby daddy, Rafael, and any hunky graduate school professors she might encounter in the future. It would just be Jane and Michael for the rest of the run. Even if that doesn't seem like a bad thing, you have to take in to account that this is Jane The Virgin we're talking about, which means that we're all in store for more episodes that chronicle Jane and Michael's household budget and whose responsibility it is to take out the garbage. And while the degree to which this show portray the minutiae of everyday life is one of the things that makes it so great, (I love that Jane takes the bus!), I don't think that it would be in the show's best interest to examine the banalities of married life. A marriage is a hard thing to introduce in the middle of a show. Everyone loves Jim and Pam, but no one likes the season of The Office when they're married with two kids and bickering all the time. Please don't make me watch Jane turn into a nagging wife.

The second scenario is that Michael turns out to be in a coma, or gravely injured in some way. This seems less likely given that Petra is already in a state that's coma-adjacent, and two catatonic leads seems like a bit much, even for this show. This would prolong Jane's long road to losing her virginity, and probably increase her devotion to her new hubby. Yawn.

Also, if Michael doesn't die, what's going to become of Rafael? The man is a beautiful fool. He needs Jane to keep him out of trouble and to keep him from being duped by Petra or Petra's evil twin, who is now posing as Petra (again, this show is bananas). Jane can't just be a bystander in his story.

And Michael's death would make for some great television. Jane will be a grieving widow: she'll have so much inspiration for her writing! We'll have even more motivation to hate Sin Rostro, the omnipresent crime lord who fired the shot that killed Jane's true love.

Going into Season 3, this show needs a shakeup. Since the show began, Jane's life has been largely shaped by the presence or absence of Michael and Rafael. She's a strong character willing to stand up for herself and make smart decisions about tough subjects, but the romantic plots are never far from center stage. And that's great! Love is great. But I feel Jane's marriage will stunt the show irrevocably, and that is something I cannot abide. This show is so sweet and sincere and full of kick-ass ladies, and I want it to have a nice long run. But, like Matthew Crawley before him, Michael needs to die so the show can live on. I am not a crackpot.


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