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Did Fabian Just Jane The Virgin Jane?

If Fabian isn't dishing it out, can Jane take it?

Ha ha ha ha! I say this with a great deal of affection, but omg I love love love it when Jane gets knocked off her self-righteous high horse. Of course, I don't mean I want her to suffer serious harm or sadness -- my heart continues to ache for her over the loss of Michael, and when she faced dangers like Sin Rosario's abduction of Mateo (which, where is Rose at these days?) I was nearly as anxious and upset as Jane was.

But when it comes to the small stuff, like sex and relationships, I like to see the saint sweat. And sweat she does this week, in most glorious fashion! That's because Alba's not the only one saving herself, it turns out...and then Jane's (and our) notions are flipped regarding her flightiest pal.

Did my wish make Lina's appearance so?

Just last week, I was asking where Lina was, and this week my question is answered! I will note that this is the second time I have asked Jane The Virgin to do something and it has happened, which clearly means that I am a witch. Jane The Virgin should give me a hundred million dollars! And the body I had when I was 20! (Hey, can't hurt.)

Okay, seriously, I have been missing Lina like crazy, because it's seemed like Jane has no friends to whom she is not somehow related. And Jane has apparently been missing Lina, too, as when she runs into the latter she starts watching her phone like she's waiting for her middle-school crush to call.

Since we last saw her, Lina moved to New York, got a gig at Marchesa, and got on Bumble -- a dating app featured prominently and positively enough that I can only assume that they are a sponsor. Hey, it's no Michael and Raf run into each other at Target, but what is?

While on Bumble, Lina met Danny, a nice-seeming guy to whom she is now affianced. In Jane's mind, Lina dropped her as a friend as a result of her new relationship...but it turns out that's not the case, as Lina eventually admits to her that their friendship hit a speed bump when Lina called to complain about a fight she'd had with her then-new squeeze, and a still-grieving Jane responded, "I'd give anything to have one more fight with Michael."

Should that have been enough to throw the friendship off course? In a perfect world, of course not. But, as Lina said, "I didn't know how to be upset around you in a regular way," and that was enough to send things spinning. To my eternal pain, I will confess to all of you that I've been on both sides of friendships disintegrating over less, so I found this a sharply genuine plotline.

The great thing, in this case, is that neither of them is committed to holding a grudge -- and that is, perhaps, where real life and TV fantasy part ways. After a low-grade confrontation, the lifelong friends talk it all out, and the breach is repaired.

How much do you dig activist Alba?

I continue to appreciate the deft and realistic way that Jane handles the disgust people with actual operating moral compasses have with the current administration. Though there are lots of shows that are coming for the White House head-on -- Blackish and Agents Of SHIELD spring to mind -- having an arguably family-friendly show like Jane join the resistance seems like a bigger risk in terms of possible audience loss. (Then again, would Trump supporters be watching a show about a bunch of non-white folks, anyway? Then again again, they've gotta take a break from Duck Dynasty and FOX News for something, right? I guess I can see them digging the whole virgin thing?)

That it's Jane's most conservative character -- and one who until recently lived in fear regarding her undocumented status -- who's made the decision to stand against this country's new ecosystem of emboldened racists gives me hope for the real-life resistance. Not to take anything away from Jane's decision to march, but that's almost knee-jerk predictable for a second-generation Latina feminist. It's a lot harder for Alba, not just because she's a green card holder but because she's a female member of (arguably) a rule-following generation, someone for whom protest is less comfortable. It'll be interesting to see how the "Jorge is undocumented" storyline plays out, as I assume it must. Will his deportation (which I am predicting so, as you know from the previous item, it shall certainly be) cow Alba, or embolden her? The latter, I hope.

Did Fabian just Jane The Virgin Jane?

Don't worry, Fabian isn't a virgin. But after a lifetime of profligate sex, he's decided to abstain until he's in a committed relationship, if not a marriage. Jane, perhaps blinded by hormones, is stunningly un-self-aware when she announces to Alba that this means she needs to nip things in the bud.

Alba swiftly puts Jane in her place, reminding Jane of all the times she came home in tears because some guy dumped her for the same reason. "But he's dumb and I'm not," Jane, to her credit, does not reply. But that is an issue, right? There are things one can overlook with a partner and there are things one cannot -- and for Jane, it seems like smarts is something she prizes, almost to a snobby fault. Yes, good for you, you're rereading Orwell because of its relevance in today's society. We all read 1984 in middle school, Jane, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back for your highbrow tastes.

Then again, maybe Fabian isn't as dumb as he seems. After all, this is the guy who instinctively knew that a staged fight would send Jane's Twitter following skyrocketing. And now we learn that he's a bad-ass at checkers, is almost done with 1984 too, and LOVES cake. Jane, I'm an intellectual snob who congratulated myself for going on a date with a non-reading but nice meathead too, and now I've been married to him for 11 years and my friends and parents like him more than they like me. Turns out there's a lot more to a happy relationship than having read the same books, who knew?

This is what you wear to a dining-in-the-dark restaurant?

Jane, who's struggling to see past the sex stuff with Fabian, suggests they go to one of those gimmicky restaurants where you eat in total darkness. So, of course, she wears a white dress with a low neck...

...because who doesn't want to end up with a cleavageful of food and stains all over your bodice. I get it, Miami is hot, but this is a black-turtleneck venue. Maybe Jane isn't that much smarter than Fabian after all.

Hold the phone, did Fabian just reveal himself to be history's greatest monster?


A restaurant in the Marbella, no less, so one of Jane's co-workers will have to deal with Fabian's snotty serviette. Maybe this is why Jane wanted to go to that dining-in-the-dark place? Fabian, how will I ever forgive you?

"Danny, let's let the ladies catch up. Where are you from? Who are your enemies?"
- Fabian -

As it is my fondest hope to be asked for my enemies list, this quote helps Fabian bounce back in my eyes, just a bit. A teeny tiny bit.

Was Xo's proposal your weekly JTV sob moment?

I have never been shy about my opposition to the whole proposal thing, but Xo's surprise proposal to Rogelio had me in full on cry mode -- and as I have not recently had Botox, my tears didn't "struggle to fall." It was so simple and perfect in its faux beach setting, a grand gesture from a woman to whom the grand gestures are typically made.

I was most thrilled to see that Xiomara even had a ring to offer Rogelio, and that she presented it without any dumb posturing from Rogelio along the lines of "I'm the man, I'm supposed to propose to you" or whatever. (That Alba was a conspirator, not a gender nominative wet blanket, made me happy, too.) Rogelio's joyful acceptance of Xo's proposal is just more proof that they are made for each other -- and that in many ways, Rogelio, with his waxing, mani-pedis, and regular cosmetic treatments is actually the most traditionally ladylike character on the show.

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