iZombie's Book Of Revelation
Surprises abound and makers are met.
Major was hooking up with Rita/Gilda, who once texted Major a picture of herself in a teddy (much to Liv's dismay). Liv told Drake that Blaine is selling Utopium and taking on Mr. Boss. Drake told Blaine that as the brain-blackmailed rat in the Boss organization, Blaine's bean-spilling to the DA's office could get Drake killed. Boss collects on Blaine's debt to him, requesting $80K. Major and Blaine are "on borrowed time" since New Hope died (presumably of the zombie cure). Drake helped Liv, Ravi, and Major find one of the two bodies buried with the cure-causing tainted Utopium inside them.
R.I.P. Leslie Morgan
The proprietor of Positivity Cafe (a thinly veiled Cafe Gratitude, right down to its association with a "personal transformation" organization called in this case the Beacon Forum, itself a thinly veiled Landmark Forum), Lesley was as relentlessly upbeat as she was focused on ensuring your latte had a perfect foam flower. Slain by an air-conditioning unit released to fall by an unseen foe, it's unclear who would kill her. She was just so nice!
Name: Pam. Age: Mid-20s. Occupation: Positivity Cafe. You Might Remember Me From: Remember when Liv got arrested and almost ate her cellmate's brains? Pam's that cellmate, now given a second chance by Leslie. Goal: To break into the apartment from which the air conditioner was released to figure out who killed Leslie; to combat the allegations that she's the register cash thief; to drop some subversive rhymes; to get her buzz on; and to fight the power (we've got to fight the powers that be). Sample Dialogue: "I see a big ol' gun, but no body camera. I guess that's just the way it's gonna go down, huh?"
The only people who had access to the no-longer-air-conditioned apartment are Pam, any Seattle-area real estate agent, and any prospective tenants to whom they showed the place. It was one of those folks, Clive surmises, who unsuccessfully tried to flush the screws that would have kept the air conditioner in the window and off Leslie.
(What, too soon?) So, here's the deal: after Major, Liv, and Ravi found the long-sought body packed with tainted Utopium, Ravi's been busy trying to re-manufacture a cure before Major keels over. Major's ready to just shoot it up on the spot, but Ravi insists on testing it on a "cured" rat, as a re-injection of the cure's never been attempted before. And his caution was wise, because look what happened to the rat -- he turned totally digital!
I kid; the effects for the rat are quite respectable, and there's a nice little jump scare! The re-cured rat isn't better now, he or she is worse. Way worse. Walking Dead groan-and-shuffle worse. This is incredibly bad news all around.
When the improbably named Kenny Killmore goes to Shady Plots to pick up one of Blaine's payments to Mr. Boss, he says he remembers Blaine from back when the latter worked for the crime lord, too. "See you in a couple weeks, Chinatown," Kenny says as he leaves. Whaaat?
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Positivity Cafe vs. Seattle's Daily Grind
According to Darcy, Ravi's crush and a cashier at Positivity Cafe, though Pam might have been stealing money from the register she never would have killed Leslie. Instead, Clive should talk to Stan, Leslie's former business/life partner who now owns Seattle's Daily Grind. Stan says that after Leslie got into the Beacon Forum, she dumped him, swiped his ideas (it's a coffee shop, Stan, not the cure for cancer), and opened Positivity, a competing cafe that stole Daily Grind's thunder. So he sued her, but he didn't kill her, he says -- he was stuck in traffic when she was killed. Talk to Leslie's daughter Cher, he says, she'll vouch for him!
Winner: It's coffee, jeez. Stop fetishizing it.
Catching Up With The Criminals
What's the occasion? Last week, Drake seemingly killed Terrell Johnson on Boss's orders. Now he is a man!
What are the refreshments? None are served, but Boss says he always likes to have a steak after he kills someone.
Whose big public scene will everyone be talking about tomorrow? Kenny reminds Boss of Blaine's Polanski-related nickname, and says he got that moniker over some slick maneuvers he pulled to direct police attention toward his competition and away from his dastardly drug dealing deeds. Hmm, kind of like how Boss's organization is under the DA's scrutiny now, and that "new player" is dealing supercharged U! Boss puts the pieces together, and starts making plans for a nice post-homicide slab of cow.
Bonnie And Claude
Alert Type: Entitled Millennial Alert.
Issue: Liv had a vision in which Cher was revealed to be the register thief -- and in which she was very mean to her mom, "'art school' blah blah blah 'my dreams.'"
Complicating Factors: Cher starts getting really defensive when questioned about an alibi, and her extreeeemely French boyfriend, Gilbert, reacts even more strongly.
Resolution: But both were elsewhere during the slaying! Cher was at the cafe (as we saw), and Gilbert was ten miles away at his job at Lightfoot Plumbers.
Spoiler: Gilbert is neither French nor smart.
Just Shoot Me
What's the game? Plot Twist.
Who's playing? Vice Unit Detective Lou Benedetto; Drake.
What's at stake? Drake's staggering out of some club, acting like far more of a douche than he ever has before. Suddenly, a couple cop cars roll up, and Drake gets popped by Benedetto.
Who wins? ME! I was happy enough to see Keith Mars, but when it was revealed that Drake is an undercover cop (and that he didn't kill Jones, he put him in witsec), I nearly lost my mind. Seriously, I hollered in joy, as I did not see that coming! I'm thrilled, and was even more so when Drake refused Benedetto's demands that he stop seeing Liv.
Will the game be played again? Definitely, as Drake's information has been integral to the capture and prosecution of multiple goons so far, and he's the only agent in the inner Boss circle. After all, you can't put guys away based solely on Blaine's anonymous testimony! But did you notice that when Benedetto started talking about a "new player" in the U game, Drake remained silent? Why is he protecting Blaine? Is it a brain supply thing?
Plot Lightning Round
Stan, who was still Clive's prime suspect, comes clean: he wasn't in traffic when Leslie was killed, he was hit with The Big D in a gas station restroom. They'll remember him, he says, because "they were out of toilet paper...I had to improvise."
Things are not as they seem with our boy Gilbert! When Clive called his employer to verify his alibi, the detective learned that Gilbert works for a real estate company, not a plumber...and he's "never been east of Boise." Once in the box with Liv and Clive, they try to convince Gilbert to give Cher up, as he obviously killed Leslie at her behest. But he loooooves Cher, he whines. After a brief conference with his lawyer, though, he agrees to a 20-year maximum sentence in exchange for a full confession and testimony against Cher.
That is, until some scuffle at the station house leaves Cher and Gilbert alone for a moment. But that was long enough for her to convince him to take the fall, solo. Why? Because, Cher sociopaths to Clive, "Love makes you stupid."
Wrap It Up
Something's up with Blaine. He's having issues with how food tastes, and I'm starting to think his cure might be wearing off. He distracts himself (and me) with a romp in a double-wide coffin with Candy, followed by an underwear-clad but extremely solid rendition of Procol Harum's "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" (ha ha get it) at the organ. The latter is interrupted by Kenny who, even when confronted with a blond, shirtless Blaine in light-blue trunks, still manages to stay true to the Chinatown theme and restrain himself from saying "time to die." You're a better man than I, Kenny.
But time to die it is. And, as the writers cleverly established ages ago, Boss's chosen method of destruction is a slit throat, not, say, a bullet to the head. For example.
Cher sells Positivity to Stan, then heads off to live the life of an artist in Paris.
Liv is making some sort of brain paella, maybe, and worrying that she's being willfully blind about Drake when Major shows up. He's concerned that he might die without anyone knowing the truth about what he's been up to, so he is ready to tell Live everything, when...
GREAT TIMING GILDA. Liv "introduces" them and they pretend to meet. But as Major is shuffled out by Liv (before confessing jackshit), like a total bozo he is all "goodnight, Rita," NOT "Gilda," and Liv suddenly and horribly knows what time it is.
And gets confirmation.
Liv, of course, has no idea about all the crazy Max Rager stuff, she just thinks she's getting Single White Femaled. She decks Gilda, to nationwide applause.
"You're a sick bitch and I just want you out, now. Because at midnight, I'm going to hunt down anything you left behind, and burn it." I love this episode so much, you guys!
Speaking of sick bitches, guess who just got a really nasty STD?
Over in the woods, a group of girl adventurers are watching for birds. Instead, they get Blaine. He is, as they say, risen.