iZombie Wants Your Love, Or At Least Your Likes
Liv's star turns into a heart when she meets her new squeeze's mom.
Du Clark is impressed by the alacrity with which Major is "plowing through" Max Rager's zombie list. The media is calling Major the "Chaos Killer," but he's not killing anyone, he's just freezing them. Blaine is the star witness in the case against Stacey Boss, and Peyton just slept with him. Liv told Peyton what a bad guy Blaine is. Liv's hooking up with Drake.
It's On Like Donkey Kong
We pick up right where we left off, and it's official! Drake and Liv are not just doing it, but he's a spend-the-night-spooning kind of guy. Okay, buddy, just this once.
Shots In The Heart, And You're To Blame
Alert Type: Booze And Broken Heart Alert.
Issue: In the wake of Peyton's Blaine Mistake, she's hitting the bottle and taking Ravi with her.
Complicating Factors: Ravi still obviously cares for Peyton, so you can tell that the evenings spent with drinking with her are sweet torture, and not just because of the horrible hangovers the next day.
Resolution: Peyton's new place is finally ready, so despite Ravi's worries that Boss will come after her, she's moving out of the boys' house and into her own.
R.I.P. Headless Guys
Poor Liv! She's hungry, so news of three murdered bodies that washed up on the shores of Lake Washington really got her juices flowing. But look at this shit: no heads to be seen, and Clive's saying he "really needs" her help with this one. How can she help when she A) can't get any brain-related visions and B) is so freakin' hangry?
That Quote"Looks like a no-brainer to me, Liv."- Ravi Chakrabarti -
On The Menu
Social Media Munchies
Without any homicide victims to chow down on, Liv's forced to eat the brain of a social-media addict so consumed with her phone that she was struck by a city bus. That's right, we're in for an episode of selfies, tweets, Yelp reviews, hashtag talk, and more Millennial mockery. #lowhangingfruit #crankyolds #wegetit
Bad Day For Blaine
Who called the meeting? Peyton.
What's it about? Peyton tells Blaine that she's going to tell D.A. Baracus about their indiscretion, then tender her resignation. Blaine argues that she shouldn't throw her career away over him, that they are doing important work going after Boss, and that their rendezvous "meant something" to him. Is he sincere? I'm honestly stumped. Blaine is such a sociopath I can't believe he has feelings, but why else would he push the relationship angle so hard?
How'd it go? Not great for Blaine! Midway through his passionate speech, Liv arrives. At that point, Blaine knows the jig is up, and he departs.
Things went better for Liv, though, since Peyton's big Boss board IDs her headless victims.
They're the same three guys who fought Drake last week, so I of course assumed he killed them over their allegations of a leak in the Boss organization -- the leak that is he. (I was totally wrong about this, much to my relief.)
Looking For The Magic
Peyton heads to Baracus' house to resign, but when she arrives it appears the Chaos ("Chao$"?) killer's been there. Since we already know the D.A.'s a zombie for whom Major covered with Max Rager, this is confusing, right? Also, I know the Chaos crime scenes are supposed to look Manson, but with Billy Squier's "In The Dark" playing, it feels way more You're Next.
Duck And Cover
Situation: Liv and Clive arrive at Stacy Boss's "CPA" office to question him about his three dead goons.
What makes it awkward? Drake, who is apparently a big fat mama's boy, has to hide when his girlfriend and her cop pal arrive. But even more awkward than that is when Clive and Liv ask Boss if he recognizes their three dead victims via photos from when their heads were still attached. "That's my nephew" says Boss of the one guy who'd been walking around with a machete.
How is order restored? When Liv and Clive tell Boss that his nephew and the other two guys are dead, Boss is visibly shaken. He asks them to leave so he can call his sister and give her the news. Liv and Clive agree that he's not the guy who killed them. So who is?
And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor
Why do regular old Stacey Boss brand Utopium when you can do Lucky U, the sparkly new, super-high-making upgrade? No, we don't know who's supplying it, just that it's some "new player" not Boss. Want some? Talk to Tanner, just don't get too close -- he's got bedbugs. (Not a euphemism, he really does.)
BrainteaserQ What do you do when you discover that your new squeeze spent 22 months in the pen for a violent assault?A Ghost him.
Of Course You Care About "The Fold," You Dork
Dale's just telling Clive that she thinks Baracus's killing might be a Chaos copycat -- the graffiti looks wrong and they had Blaine under surveillance -- when Jeremy Chu, the Seattle Observer reporter who's working the triple homicide, comes in to ask for more details on the case. He's also mad that the Chaos Killer got top billing, while his homicide was a below-the-fold story. As if any A1 editor would allow two local crime stories on the front page! That reporter should be glad his dead thugs aren't stashed back in Metro, where they should be.
Don't Read The Comments
What's the game? Twitter Torture.
Who's playing? Du Clark, Gilda, Major, and Janko.
What's at stake? Du Clark's called Major in to question him about Baracus, whom Gilda and Janko believe was a zombie. So why did Major let him go, Du Clark asks. Adding to the tension, Du Clark's reading all the mean @s Max Rager gets, and he's getting really, really wound up.
Who loses? Bangkok-based "Trickster107," who tweeted to his 14 followers that Max Rager gave his dad a heart attack. He's the one Major "picked," when pressured by Du Clark. Now they're going to send the Twitter user "really embarrassing magazines!"
Big Momma's House
Drake shows up at the morgue, and explains away his prison stint with a sad story about beating up a man who abused his mom. Liv agrees to go to dinner with him, when Drake's mom calls -- her sink's stopped up! Liv agrees to come meet the lady, and it's hilarious: Mom insists on giving Liv a makeover, gives Drake a poorly-knitted sweater and passes to the "Wicked Winter Renaissance Fair," and tries to talk them into posing for a picture with Nutter Butter (the cat) so she can use it as a holiday card.
This is killing me, you guys! Drake's mother is so adorable, he can't be evil, right? Or is this a Tommy and his mom situation?
It's The Interest That Gets Ya
Shady Plots is the scene of Boss's nephew's wake, and Blaine is freaking out. After all, Blaine's the guy who's trying to depose Boss! When the kingpin confronts him in the basement, though, it's not that bad -- while Boss is bummed that Blaine didn't give two weeks' notice when he departed the drug dealer's ranks, Blaine's explanation that the horrors of the boat party sent him spinning off the deep end seemed to satisfy him.
There is the matter, however, of the $4000 worth of Boss's "product" Blaine never returned. That will have to be paid back.
$4000 + 100 weeks' interest + vig = $80,000
Plot Lightning Round
A Lake Washington marina owner just found a boat full of blood -- likely the scene of the triple decapitation. The owner's son says he saw a guy take a cab from the marina around the time the boat was in use.
The cab dropped the man off at this lakeside cabin...which belongs, Liv and Clive realize, to Baracus. The house is still warm, suggesting to the lawman that Baracus was recently there. But "how did he take out three armed hit men," Clive asks. Liv has an idea.
The heads -- all three -- were in the zombie lawyer's fridge...
...and the DA is in the crawlspace, Liv realizes.
Liv returns to the cabin that night, bearing brains. She reminds Baracus that they met through Peyton. Baracus is clearly cornered, saying "I can't resurface after this" because either Boss or the police will always be after him. There's "no scenario where I get to see my son again," he sadly says, as Major (who secretly followed Liv to the scene) watches from outside.
Wrap It Up
The headline in today's Observer, the mayor tells Peyton, means she can't quit, and now they need to go after Boss twice as hard.
Our reporter friend has been on Blaine's brain-payroll all along, and invented sources and faked quotes to write that front-page story on Boss's alleged D.A. hit. "If it's any consolation," Blaine tells him, "all of it was true." Besides, he finally got above the fold!
The other thing that Observer story did, with its details on how Baracus killed Boss's three henchmen, is confirm to Du Clark that Major lied about the D.A.'s zombism. Major explains that Baracus was just soooo cute with his little boy that he couldn't pull the trigger, but that that's the only one he let loose, he swears. Du Clark shows him news footage of a horrible traffic collision and says that the victim was the Twitter user Major chose earlier.
Is this even remotely true? Couldn't he just show Major any Thai tragedy and say it's the guy? Major doesn't seem to consider that possibility, especially after Du Clark says that he'll keep harming Max Rager @ers until he gets proof that Baracus is dead.
Major abducts Baracus and presumably tells him the deal. Baracus writes a note, then Major photographs his "corpse," consigns him to the deep freeze, and takes his shoes.
A dead drug dealer arrives at the morgue, his throat slit in signature Boss style. Perhaps this is because he was carrying the Boss rival "Lucky U"? But Ravi and Liv's U reverie is interrupted when they get the news that Baracus has killed himself -- his boots and a suicide note (but no body, of course) were found on the bridge, so the case is closed.
Liv and Drake are making an omelette and being totally fucking adorable when there's a knock at her door. It's Don E, there to get Drake for his Blainternship -- they have a dead body to contend with.
Apparently the social media maven was also a recreational drug user, because Liv gets a flash of Don E selling Lucky U. Liv puts it all together as Drake rushes out the door...
Blaine is the man behind Lucky U, Liv realizes, the "new player" Tanner was talking about.