Photo: Ben Cohen / NBC

Justin Long Goes The Distance On Hollywood Game Night

Long stands out as the best player on a strong team that loses points with this commentator after Kevin Smith...well, you'll see.

Most Regrettable "Fun Fact"

I guess Jane Lynch has never been on the internet before and neither has anyone on her writing staff if the "thoughtful detail" they choose to bring up in Elisha Cuthbert's secondary intro is about her past as a foot model.

Jay Pharoah's reaction is a polite version of the kind of stuff you get online, so...good luck with the rest of your life, Elisha.

Weirdest Hair

Screen: NBC

Screen: NBC

You do you, but that seems like a lot of hairspray.

Most Undeniable Team: Part I

I am not a huge Kevin Smith fan, and he reminds me why with this intro.

Reading texts aloud on TV is a form of entertainment now? Because I wouldn't allow that at a casual dinner. (Lynch's aggressive overlaugh makes me suspect she doesn't love it either.) Smith later re-reminds me why he bugs me by trying to mime "Good Vibrations" in Show Me The Music.

Gif: Previously.TV

Gif: Previously.TV

Please don't make me connect you with sex, Smith, I still see this tweet in my nightmares. But I can put aside my personal antipathy to appreciate a good player, and Smith, Long, and Haley Joel Osment start running the table pretty early. Here they are absolutely destroying Be Kind, Rewind.

Most Undeniable Team: Part II

Everyone takes a breather from that thrashing for a commercial, and then we return for Where Ya Goin'? Verbatim from my notes, about Jillian, who must choose a celebrity as her driver: "JP probably her best option, sadly." I like Elisha Cuthbert's energy but she kind of has no chill; I wouldn't necessarily want her receiving rather than giving.

Naturally, Jay Pharoah -- the "JP" in question -- immediately stinks up the joint.

Maybe focus less on pretending to turn your steering wheel and more on paying attention to what the game is, because if "The Simpsons" is a clue, then "The Simpsons" PROBABLY ISN'T THE ANSWER. Team Patty, show them how it's done.

I would think a wedding band singer would know the Motown impresario is not "Berry Gordon," but this round was so killer, I can't hold it against her too much.

Coolest Story, Bro

Worst Game

All these picture games are the same: they leave too much up to after-the-buzz guesswork which is not fun to watch

That said, I wish someone had been in the room to accept when I said, "I bet five thousand dollars Brandon T. Jackson doesn't know Rebel Wilson's name," because I would have won.

Funniest Guess

By the time we head into our final game, Show Me The Music, Team Jillian is down 22 to 49; when Team Patty has another strong round and widens the gap by twenty more points, it's pretty clear no one on Jillian's team thinks they're going to get the ten points they need to win, and they don't. But at least we get this moment to treasure forever.

They...do not go on to get this point, either.

Best Civilian

Of course, when her team gets to the bonus round, Patty chooses Justin; even on a pretty strong team, he stood out as the champion. Unfortunately, the rules of the game require her to choose a celebrity from the other team as well, and given the D+ performance of both Pharoah and Jackson, she really had no choice, and I'm concerned when Elisha Cuthbert goes to take her place with drink in hand.

Screen: NBC

Screen: NBC

And while Long and Cuthbert are not great at taking turns talking, Patty is in control.

A civilian who knows Jenna Dewan's husband's name is a civilian who deserves to win this game.

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