ABC

Old Ladies Get Their Due On Grey's Anatomy

A sweet old granny and young fit jogger both need a liver, and only one is available. Also, Amelia is pregnant.....maybe.

In the context of the earlier episodes this season, this one almost feels like it's part of a different universe. The beating of DeLuca, Alex's sad felon face, and the silly love triangle are placed on hiatus, conveniently forgotten for awhile. Instead, the episode concentrates on a trio of medical cases that clumsily telegraphs how much organ donation matters. And how much air conditioning matters. And how much Stephanie matters (seriously, who knew?)

You know what, let's just rank the moments that matter the most.

  1. Old People Are Important

    Bailey is super-happy because a longtime patient of hers, a senior citizen in her eighties, will be getting a liver transplant. That almost never happens because of the woman's age. Granny June has been waiting for that liver for three years, and it will finally be hers. She has brought along her big family cheering section, knitting, and snickerdoodles

    Bailey is infused with joy. She is Ed Freaking McMahon with a Publisher's Clearinghouse Check of Longevity in the form of a healthy liver she plans to present to Granny June. My dismay is echoed by Bailey's when DeLuca momentarily harshes her glow by admitting he has no idea who Ed McMahon is. Fucking young people!

    Bailey's glow is further harshed when a twenty-five-year-old patient is admitted with imminent renal failure. She is Meredith's patient, and Meredith wants to poach Granny June's liver! It is Granny June's decision, though. And when presented with the facts that the other woman might not make it through the night without that liver, Granny June goes from saintly old lady with cookies to Tyler Perry's Madea in a heartbeat. "Screw her, no cuts!" Granny snarls. Granny keeps her liver!

  2. Pregnancy Tests Are Important

    Uh, Amelia? Girl, before you go announcing to your women friends that you are pregnant on the basis of being two days late, you might want to, you know, actually confirm it first. They have only been married for like a nanosecond and I am already over Amelia and Owen's life. Last week, Amelia obsessed over not knowing Owen well enough. This week she is going on an "I'm pregnant" tour and telling everyone like it is fact.

    At first, it isn't so bad. She tells Meredith, but only because Meredith catches her being sketchy in the supply closet while looking for a pregnancy test. Pro-tip to Amelia: girl, do not go into espionage. You are bad at skulking. Like, Wile E. Coyote bad.

    But then she tells Maggie. And then she tells April. At this point, I am beyond exasperated with her and want to throw my glass of Grey's Anatomy viewing wine at the TV. Jesus Christ Christmas Kwanzaa, go pee on the stick, for mercy's sake!

    When Amelia finally does pee at the end of the day in the presence of Owen -- probably the only person whom she should have told at this point -- the results are negative. She seems relieved. Me too, girl. Me too.

  3. Climate Change Matters

    The other liver patient, Chelsea, is brought in with heatstroke. She went for a run in what I can only assume is 90-degree weather. Apparently Seattle is undergoing a massive heatwave in late October: it's so warm that people still need air conditioning.

    Who knew heatstroke could trigger liver failure? Not me. But I do now. The good news is that Jogger Chelsea has an identical twin who basically tells Meredith to take all the organs they need from her. Her body is ready! The bad news is healthy twin can't donate. She's pregnant. Well, that isn't really bad news except for poor liver-needing Jogger Chelsea.

    Having struck out with Healthy Twin and trying to steal Granny June's liver, Meredith and Webber keep UNOS on speed dial looking for a liver. Things looks dire. But miraculously, a liver in their very own hospital becomes available.

  4. Good Jokes Are Important

    Apparently, Stephanie is totally the best resident in the hospital right now. Did we know this? Maggie wants Steph to work with her on a cardio case. Amelia doesn't want to share; she needs her Super Resident now more than ever because she is pregnant after all!

    A really nice Astronaut named Andy will be dead in a month if he doesn't undergo this heart surgery. Well, he might die anyway, but at least he will have tried it. Astro Andy is upbeat and a little flirty with Steph. Before he goes under, he asks her for a good joke, just in case it is the last thing he hears. Steph freezes and can't think of one. Poor Astro Andy dies and Steph is crushed.

    "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you?"

    A stick.

    Maggie gives Steph some good advice about distance and finding the good. She also assures Steph that if the operation hadn't killed Astro Andy, that joke would have. Ha! Maggie's got jokes! I like this Maggie. Can we keep her? This one is a hundred times better than love-sick Maggie.

    Of course Astro Andy is an organ donor, and of course he is a perfect match for Jogger Chelsea.

  5. DeLuca's Finally Important

    Bailey throws DeLuca a bone and lets him in on her happy-joy case with Granny June. He needs some cheer, she tells him, and introduces him to the old woman and her happy relatives.

    Granny June gives DeLuca cookies, a knit scarf, and rainbows. He marvels that she is a "human sunflower" and smiles beatifically. Not even Jo can bring him down as she grouses about the favoritism shown toward Stephanie, and getting bumped off surgeries himself. DeLuca tells her that her "self-pity gland is swollen," and they joke around with each other good-naturedly.

    I find this chatty, friendly, almost flirty version of Jo and DeLuca rather disturbing. How can they act this way when that confession about her life is sitting between them like an unexploded grenade?

  6. Owen's Job Is Important?

    Owen basically spent the entire episode babysitting baby Harriet -- and doing a piss-poor job of it, if you ask me. He stiffly holds her away from his body like she was a nucler reactor. No wonder the baby cries all day.

    That raises the question of why didn't he just put the baby in day care like Jackson told him to in the first place? And how is it that he had nothing to do all day?

    Ugh. You know what? Never mind. It's not important.

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