Mark Schafer / HBO

Will A Girls Heat Wave Thaw Relations Between Exes?

The queue of Hannah's potential co-parents gets unaccountably longer.

You know how everyone is still kind of mad about the way Adam swooped in to Hannah's rescue way back at the end of season whatever? Girls threatens to set things up for the same kind of series finale, but thinks better of it at the last minute. In other words, Adam feels driven to co-parent Hannah's baby with her, and he tells her so, and after a moment of confusion Hannah is basically, "Yup! Let's fuck." So that's what happens. It's kind of amazing how the show can make me hate them both for this while still not making me sympathize with Jessa whatsoever. They then spend the day making plans for the baby and falling back in love, while Jessa is left at loose ends. Looser than usual, that is.

Meanwhile, Ray is working to carry on Hermie's project on the oral history of Brooklyn, which would be even more boring than it sounds if not for his and Shoshanna's chance encounter with her former boss, Abigail. Long story short, while Hannah and Adam are rekindling an old love, Ray and Abigail are soon firing up a new one. It goes pretty fast, but with only a couple of episodes left there's really no time to waste. So with that in mind, let's get right to calculating how Girls-y this episode really was.

GIRLS-y Element Present?
Someone Gets Naked

With the A/C in their apartment broken, Hannah lounges on her couch in just a thong, prompting Elijah to wonder why she waited to get pregnant to start wearing decent underwear. He's also got thoughts on her nipples, so.

Jessa Is Shockingly Late And/Or Inappropriate

She's outwardly calm in reaction to Adam's announcement that he wants to help raise Hannah's baby. But keeping it together is always the trouble with Jessa, isn't it? She's also a little loud with Adam's baby niece, and then she walks into a bar, which she smokes in, drops the cigarette in her drink, and has a bathroom encounter with the sketchy-looking dude who was already drinking there alone. Or maybe that part was just imagined. Anyway, at least she only ordered a seltzer.

What The Eff Is Hannah Wearing

Nothing truly eye-searing this week. Which seems like a missed opportunity, given the richness that maternity-wear can offer in terms of true hideosity.

Adam Needs A Safe Word

He's at peak Adam appeal with his dorky-ass self, seeming as comfortable with Hannah as if they were never apart. It's creepy.

Scene In A Bathroom With Someone Performing An Actual Bathroom Function

Jessa throws up in the toilet, which seems a little bougie for her. But then, a heavy-handed pregnancy foreshadowing is a heavy-handed pregnancy foreshadowing.

Someone Bitches About Hannah In Her Absence

Jessa complains to Laird that the father of Hannah's baby is a Bolivian zipline guy, which is actually giving her a little more credit. That at least sounds cooler than a Hamptonian surfing guy. In any case, it prompts Laird to rush upstairs and declare his wish to also help raise Hannah's kid. They say victory has a thousand fathers; at this rate, so will Hannah's baby.

Shoshanna Flips Out

She actually takes it pretty quietly when Ray and Abigail begin falling in love right before her gobsmacked eyes, but you know she's internally flipping shit.

Shut Up, Ray

I just don't even know where to start with Ray this week. His inherited fascination with Hermie's obscure little project, despite his total unsuitability for continuing it? His condescension to Shoshanna, including boxing her in with aggressive air-quotes? Telling someone he just met that he used to love a sad cartoon about a fatherless cup of borscht? Sorry, I just can't. Abigail has always been a bit of an cipher but her instant infatuation with Ray -- especially this week's version of Ray -- promotes her to conundrum.

Conversation Interrupted By A "Surprise" Kiss

Ray ends his whirlwind day with Abigail by kissing her, but he asks permission first like the highly evolved gentleman he imagines himself to be. Of course, since they're riding a carousel at the time, it's awkward as fuck.

Hannah Has No Practical Job Skills

It seems to be her day off. Again.

Hannah Blows Up A Current Or Potential Revenue Stream

Not that she seems to have any.

Hannah Keeps Talking When Maybe She Should Stop

Her grim litany of all the ways she might accidentally kill her baby would be less disturbing if each and every one of them didn't seem so utterly plausible.

Commentary On Modern Communications Technology/Techniques

Other than a couple of scenes with cell phones, it's as if an EMP went off or something. The closest we get is Adam admitting that he's not good with "com-POO-ters."

Appearance Of One Or More Familiar Guest Actors

Return engagements from Jon Glaser as Laird and Aidy Bryant as Abigail.

Hannah Takes a Backhanded Compliment As a Sincere One

Adam gives voice to the creature gestating in Hannah's belly using the following words: "Help me! My mom is so weird!" Naturally Hannah thinks that's the sweetest thing ever.

Hannah Probably Should Be Embarrassed But Isn't

Well, there's the whole thing about letting Adam back into her life in the first place.

Hannah Is Consciously Embarrassed

When Adam brings up the possibility of marriage, purely as a practical matter, the fantasy they've been living all day collapses. And so does Hannah. Embarrassment is the least of her worries at this point. Adam goes back to Jessa, and Hannah goes back to her future as a single parent, which now looks bleaker than ever.

Hannah Is A Voice Of A Generation

I'm glad that "they" is coming into wider acceptance as a non-gender-specific singular pronoun. Doesn't mean it's not still a little weird when the person is speaking about someone who's currently living inside them.

11 / 18
Final Score
61%
Girls
39%
Two unconventional romcoms melted together in a microwave

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