Screen: HBO

Those Who Can't Do, Teach

Hannah has found another calling, but is it a wrong number?

It's been a few weeks in the Girls-verse since we left Hannah sacked out in that storage locker, and she's made some progress. In fact, she's back in her apartment, with Elijah as her roommate, and she decides to become a teacher. Her reasoning is that her favorite writers helped shape her worldview, so now she wants to help others. How a Hannah Horvath-shaped worldview could be of any help to anyone is beyond me.

As for the other Girls, Marnie is fighting with the very boyfriend she wanted for so long, and Shoshanna fights with a guy who then becomes her boyfriend. Jessa's back on the fringes making shitty comments where she belongs, so I guess she's still a thing. And Ray might be getting into local politics, which will probably be great for him. People who get paid to do what they love are very fortunate, and Ray does love to filibuster.

Oddly, the A storyline is about Adam. He's moved in with Mimi-Rose and that seems like a romantic dream for both of them, until she offhandedly mentions that she had a pregnancy terminated the day before. Since this is the first Adam's heard of it, he flips shit and nearly moves out. But Mimi-Rose talks him into sticking around with a stream of persuasion straight from the eyedropper of her heart. Abortion issues aside, it must be refreshing for Adam to be with someone who isn't a desperate spiky amoeba of need.

So as the characters' lives change, does this episode change much from the norm? Let's find out.

Girls-y Element Present?
Someone Gets Naked Desi bones Marnie up against a wall while their music plays in the background. If he can maintain an erection during that, he's got a fallback career as a hat rack.
Scene In A Bathroom In Which Someone Is Performing An Actual Bathroom Function If there was such a scene this week, it got flushed.
Shoshanna Flips Out She's about to rudely storm out of an interview at a twee instant-soup startup after insulting the founder, but she manages to get asked for a date on her way out. Because she's obnoxious and offensive, but apparently irresistible.
Jessa Is Shockingly Late And/Or Inappropriate I don't know why she's even still around after last week. It's not like every regular is in every episode anyway.
What The Eff Is Hannah Wearing? She's off to a teaching interview wearing the Mad Men Final Season poster, which has been made into a minidress in which she would be ill-advised to sit, squat, bend, lean, use stairs, or go outside if the wind is gusting over 5 mph.
Hannah Takes a Backhanded Compliment As a Sincere One When Jessa points out that the old saying "those who can't do, teach" clearly applies, Hannah takes it as a vote of confidence.
Hannah Is Consciously Embarrassed Although everyone at the brunch counter points out that Hannah's deeply ingrained selfishness dooms her plans for breaking good, she remains upbeat. Even Hannah can keep up almost anything for five minutes.
Hannah Probably Should Be Embarrassed But Isn't See dress above.
Adam Needs A Safe Word In fact, he's treating Mimi-Rose a lot better than he ever treated Hannah. When he does get mad, he takes it out on a cluttered table that needed clearing anyway.
Shirtless Adam In his boxers, he carefully rolls out of bed with Mimi-Rose so as not to wake her. I'm sure he did that with Hannah sometimes too, but she would have needed to wash her hair afterward, if you know what I mean.
Someone Bitches About Hannah In Her Absence An "out of sight, out of mind" attitude is probably the best way to handle Hannah.
Commentary On Modern Communications Technology/Techniques Marnie thinks that the hundred downloads she and Desi have racked up on fictional music streaming site "Close-Up" are significant. The much bigger news is that a new website in this century would use a dash in its name.
Hannah Keeps Talking When She Should Maybe Stop She says a lot of things in therapy that her doctor seems to love to hear. And encouraging Hannah is rarely a good thing in the long run.
Shut Up, Ray Ray's latest angry rant takes place in an arena where it might actually do some good: at a community board meeting. And by "arena," I mean "elementary school gymnasium."
Conversation Interrupted By A "Surprise" Kiss Any such examples actually would have been surprising. Either way, didn't happen.
Hannah Has No Practical Job Skills Actually, her résumé doesn't look too bad, at first glance, if you don't pause it in HD. I'll just leave it there.
Hannah Blows Up A Current Or Potential Revenue Stream She's actually on her way to get a job, which is the opposite. And probably setting her up to do it again in a week or two.
Hannah Talks About Her Writing Now it's mostly in the past tense, which is just fine.
Appearance Of One Or More Familiar Guest Actors Bob Balaban returns as Hannah's therapist, once again leaving us torn between our affection for Bob Balaban and horror at what a terrible therapist his character is. Also, that's Jason Ritter as Shosh's interviewer-slash-date; and Marc Maron plays the community board chairman, possibly to prove that he and Jon Glaser (Hannah's neighbor Laird) are not the same person.
Hannah Is A Voice Of A Generation "I guess the upside of having everything go wrong in your life is that you cease to have expectations of anything or anybody."
10 / 20
Final Score
50%
Girls
50%
Dangerous Minds prequel as conceived by a half-wit
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