Stuff Gets Real On Girls

The season's last two episodes are all about uncomfortable truths, which is normal for Girls but with more truth.

Welcome to the two-part season finale, or more accurately, "Game Of Thrones is back next week so pack up your shit and clear out of this time slot, Dunham." It's the usual Girls-style finale, which is to say there are supposedly life-changing developments when of course we all know everybody is going to be the same effed-up mess when we come back next year for one last round.

So in the penultimate episode, Hannah finalizes her breakup with Fran in uncharacteristically mature fashion, then quits her job for no reason because Hannah. Also because Hannah, she almost immediately gets exactly what she needs at that moment in her life, a chance encounter with former classmate and current anti-Hannah Tally Schifrin, who reveals that the success that has "evaded" Hannah isn't all that great either (thanks, Tally, for giving Hannah another excuse to keep not trying). Meanwhile, Marnie and Ray get back together (ew), Shosh gets to use her brand management skills to revive Ray's moribund coffee shop, and Elijah makes a pitch to Dill to settle down with someone special. The good news is that Dill thinks that's a great idea; the bad news is that Elijah isn't going to be that someone. Ow.

In the actual finale, otherwise known as Hannah's annual personal growth spurt, she's starting to get back into storytelling, oh joy. Her parents are in town and trying to hang out with her despite the signals she's sending them, i.e. alternating between avoiding them and being actively mean to them. Ray agrees to accompany Marnie on tour with Desi, which will of course be a disaster, while Shosh finishes rescuing his coffee shop. And Jessa and Adam have a ridiculous argument about Hannah that ends with Adam's apartment trashed and Hannah empowered to do kind of a decent job at a story slam, allegedly. And it looks like Hannah's dad might end up making a go of it with that nice Ethan Phillips character from earlier in the season.

So two episodes of Girls should be twice as Girls-y, right? Let's see if the math holds up.

GIRLS-y Element Present?
Someone Gets Naked The aftermath of Adam's fight with Jessa shows them sprawled pantsless in the midst of devastating domestic wreckage. Shocker.
Scene In A Bathroom In Which Someone Is Performing An Actual Bathroom Function Marnie gets out of bed with Ray, parks herself on the toilet, and becomes a human cup of Maxwell House.
Shoshanna Flips Out
Hermie asks her to dial it back a notch, and I'm sure he isn't the first person to do so. But she's mostly in her element, from spying on the competition while dressed like Carmen Sandiego to launching the new anti-hipster ethos of Ray's place. Even when Ray mentions last week's fiasco involving his coffee truck, Hannah's mouth, and his dick, Shosh lets it go. Would that all of us could.
Jessa Is Shockingly Late And/Or Inappropriate While helping take care of the baby, Jessa's pretty offended that Adam doesn't appreciate her efforts more. She watched two YouTube videos about babies, you know. On the bright side, if that's her idea of learning about something, Adam shouldn't have to pay much for therapy school.
What The Eff Is Hannah Wearing When she packs up her desk at the school, Principal Toby remarks that her outfit -- jorts, cardinals, and lots of bare belly -- wouldn't fly if school were in session. I'm not sure it flies ever.
Hannah Is Consciously Embarrassed One bonus of her truth-and-weed sesh with Tally Schifrin is that by the time the two of them encounter Jessa and Adam in Hannah's stairwell, the two of them are too stoned to do anything but laugh in their faces.
Hannah Probably Should Be Embarrassed But Isn't She's taken up "running," which appears to consist of decking herself out in workout gear and then stopping to stretch every twenty feet.
Hannah Takes a Backhanded Compliment As a Sincere One Pretty much her entire impromptu play date with Tally, yes.
Adam Needs A Safe Word
It's not enough that Adam gets angry at Jessa's insistence on bringing up Hannah; he also initiates the wrecking of his apartment, smashes through the bathroom door Shining-style, and physically picks up Jessa at one point to stop her from leaving. He ends up doing more damage with his bare hands than he did with a lightsaber in The Force Awakens.
Someone Bitches About Hannah In Her Absence Adam has some pretty nasty things to say to Jessa about Hannah during their fight. But since we later find out that Hannah was outside the door dropping off a fruit basket during at least part of it, I'm not sure it counts.
Commentary On Modern Communications Technology/Techniques One man passionately protests his commitment to storytelling by saying, "I have a podcast" in a self-righteous manner that no podcast-having person I know would ever employ.
Hannah Keeps Talking When She Should Maybe Stop Hannah's alleged triumph at the story slam is filmed in one long, long, unbroken take. If it was meant to showcase Lena Dunham's acting chops, I can totally believe Hannah pulled it off. It seems more or less within Hannah's modest capabilities. But please, fewer witty asides. Or at the very least, wittier ones.
Shut Up, Ray I liked him better when he was letting the newly single Marnie twist in the wind a bit.
Conversation Interrupted By A "Surprise" Kiss Since that's what Marnie came over to Ray's house to do, it's not really a surprise. But ooh, was I worried when Elijah was snuggled on the couch with Hannah's dad.
Hannah Has No Practical Job Skills She seems pretty confident that she might go straight from story slam to This American Life, but that's not really a skill issue. Maybe she could become a decent bike thief if she didn't then push the goods over on the sidewalk.
Hannah Blows Up A Current Or Potential Revenue Stream Somehow she quit her teaching job before she got fired. I would have predicted she'd win a MacArthur Genius Grant before that happened.
Appearance Of One Or More Familiar Guest Actors Mostly ones we've already seen, including Jenny Slate as Tally Schifrin.
Hannah Is A Voice Of A Generation "I'm Hannah forever. No matter what I do, no matter whether I, you know, start a new nuclear missile crisis with my emotions or just sit back and chill and give someone a fruit basket, I can only control the mayhem that I create around me."
15 / 18
Final Score
Sex and the City if Carrie did her summing up of the episode on camera instead of in voice-over.
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