Screen: HBO

Poisoned Pen

Hannah finally figures out what to write at the Iowa Writers' Workshop. The operative word being 'at.'

Okay, we all knew Hannah was going to screw up this Iowa Writers' Workshop thing sooner or even sooner than that. But the way she pulls it off is infuriating even by her standards. First of all, she not only keeps digging that hole she's in with her classmates: she switches to an oil drill. Then she listens to some terrible advice from her dad, though she's too self-absorbed to notice the obvious fact that he's going through some weird shit himself (confidential to Hannah from a Minneapolitan: even if one is visiting Minneapolis, one does not "swing by" Iowa City for dinner at 6:30 unless one leaves by 2:00). And when Hannah can't even manage to sabotage herself properly, she just walks away, leaving behind God knows what and returning home early to God knows how much worse.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Girls have things they should be walking away from. In Marnie's case, Desi shows up in the middle of the night to profess his love and the end of his relationship with Clementine. It sounds like Desi would have dumped Clementine anyway, in a jealous and childish snit that had nothing to with Marnie, but it's clearly not worth pointing that out to Marnie. Shoshanna can probably walk away from her ongoing project to make peace with Ray, because she's made a lot more of it than is really necessary. And Jessa should just walk away from all of these people because it's obvious that she hates them almost as much as I do. Which is not to say that I don't also hate Jessa, so I have a bias there.

So the only question now is, how Girls-y was this episode of Girls, objectively?

Girls-y Element Present?
Someone Gets Naked While Desi presumably pulls Marnie's PJs down to celebrate officially becoming her horrible boyfriend instead of Clementine's, it happens out of frame.
Scene In A Bathroom In Which Someone Is Performing An Actual Bathroom Function Although Hannah flushes a major opportunity down the toilet, it happens only figuratively.
Shoshanna Flips Out Shoshanna is beginning to realize that finding a job is harder than she expected. She would probably regret blowing off Ann Taylor LOFT, but instead she's telling Ray that she regrets crashing their relationship. They part friends, again, as they seem to keep doing.
Jessa Is Shockingly Late and/or Inappropriate She doesn't bother pretending to like or even want to listen to Desi and Marnie's latest song. Not that this is remotely shocking.
What The Eff Is Hannah Wearing? People don't wear Christmas sweaters (up top) in the summer, Hannah. Even in Iowa.
Hannah Takes a Backhanded Compliment As a Sincere One A butch classmate says that Hannah's no-apology apology actually makes her like Hannah more. So...kind of the opposite.
Hannah Is Consciously Embarrassed Since her self-destructive spiral is accomplishing exactly what she wants, not so much.
Hannah Probably Should Be Embarrassed But Isn't She is in fact unrepentant about the apology manifesto she stuffed into the other students' cubbies. I think all of us are probably embarrassed enough for her.
Shirtless Adam Adam's out of sight and out of (our collective) mind until Hannah shows up unannounced in the city. At least he's dressed when Hannah finds him in her apartment with another woman, but that only helps so much.
Adam Needs A Safe Word What Adam needs is tin cans and hubcaps strung around Hannah's building so that he can hear her coming.
Someone Bitches About Hannah In Her Absence In fact, Marnie complains to Jessa and Shosh that she would get more helpful feedback on her music from Hannah. Which tells us that Marnie has already forgotten everything about Hannah.
Commentary On Modern Communications Technology/Techniques Not really, but Ray has some extended and rather heated commentary about an old communications technique: car horns.
Hannah Keeps Talking When She Should Maybe Stop If you're angrily defending an angrily defensive apology, you have gone off the rails.
Shut Up, Ray A new, ill-timed traffic light soon has him outside screaming, Lear-like, at the horn-blasters outside his window. Quite articulately, it must be said.
Conversation Interrupted By A "Surprise" Kiss However, when Ray offers Shosh a high-five, he gets a hug instead.
Hannah Has No Practical Job Skills Indeed, her Xeroxing skills are all too on-point.
Hannah Blows Up A Current Or Potential Revenue Stream It's difficult to estimate how much Hannah's future earning power could have been increased as a graduate of the Iowa Writers' Workshop. And we'll certainly never know now.
Hannah Talks About Her Writing Since she's not writing anything for class, she spends all her energy talking about what she wrote at class.
Appearance Of One Or More Familiar Guest Actors Community's Gillian Jacobs is familiar to many viewers, but when she opens the front door of Hannah's apartment, from the inside, while Adam is in there with her, Hannah clearly feels quite differently.
Hannah Is A Voice Of A Generation "Academia's not totally natural for me. I thrive on the streets, I always have."
6 / 20
Final Score
Guest meltdown on Oprah
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