Screen: Warner Bros.

Lorelai Forces Luke To Stage A Fashion Show At His Lunch Counter In Front Of All His Customers, Who Lose Their Appetites Over Lorelai Adjusting Luke's Fit In Public

And other things you might have missed while blinded with a potent mixture of love and hate as you watch the first season of Gilmore Girls for the millionth time.

  • Sookie Slams A Cook In The Face With A Cast Iron Pan And Nobody Gives A Crap That He's Lying Concussed On The Floor With A Broken Face, After Which He Dies All Because Lorelai Had Good News About Chilton; Mrs. Kim Makes Dairy-Free Sugar-Free Wheat-Free Muffins You Have To Soak In Tea To Make Soft Enough To Bite; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Moist Lamb And Unsalted Potatoes
  • Lorelai Babbles Incoherently To The Headmaster's Secretary About The Drugs She Took During Labor, And Then Hisses To Rory About The Secretary's Ugly Face, Causing The Secretary To Go Home And Make A Lorelai Voodoo Doll; Mrs. Kim Finds A Website That Sells Tofu In Bulk
  • Sookie Clotheslines A Cyclist, Severing His Spinal Cord, Just Because She Saw Strawberries On The Other Side Of The Street; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Perfect Cassoulet
  • Lorelai Is Late To And Interrupts A School Meeting And Can't Stop Herself From Yelling How Bad The Meeting Coffee Is, Convincing Every Other Parent In The Room That Lorelai Never Gets Enough Attention At Home; Sookie Stalks And Force-Feeds A Restaurant Critic Who Then Probably Sells All His Possessions, Changes His Name, Goes Off The Grid, And Renounces Eating Forever; Rory Accidentally Oversleeps, Voluntarily Goes On A Wild Deer Chase, And Persistently Obstructs An Entire Class's Ability To Take A Test, Which Is Probably Why Everyone At Chilton Hates Her
  • Sookie And Lorelai Talk About Lorelai's Need For Sex, And Confirm That A Fellow Diner Understands What They're Loudly Talking About, After Which The Guy Goes Home And Fills His Ears With Wax So He Will Never Overhear Anything Again; Sookie Starts Adjusting And Seasoning Diners' Plates At Luke's Without Asking Permission Of Said Diners, Sending At Least Five Into Anaphylactic Shock
  • Friday Night Dinner Features Pudding
  • Sookie Forces A Cook To Stare At A Vat Of Mulled Wine, And Do Nothing Else, Except Imagine What It Would Be Like To Garnish Said Mulled Wine With Sookie's Floating Torn-Off Ears; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Frozen Pizza With Freshly Grated Parmesan
  • Lorelai And Emily Don't Appreciate Mashed Bananas On Toast During Rory's Dance; Sookie Blinds Herself With Something In Lorelai's Bathroom That Wasn't Soap, But Drives Home Anyway Explaining What Actually Happened To Mr. Kim; Lorelai Doesn't Appreciate Avocado At Friday Night Dinner
  • Lorelai Loudly Uses Hospital Patients And Their Traumas To Torment Luke, After Which They All Pay Nurse Jane Lynch To Find A Way To Wipe Out An Entire Family With A Single Bubble To The Vein; Lorelai Misses Out On Apple Tarts At Christmas Friday Night Dinner
  • At A Restaurant, Jackson And Sookie Demand The Provenance Of Carrots And Mussels, Lorelai Demands Multiple Martinis, And The Waiter Answers No One But Walks Off To Rub Their Butter Swans In His Armpits; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Squab
  • Neighbors Bothered By Lorelai Screaming "Stella" At Rory's Lost Bird File A Noise Complaint And Finally Soundproof Their Entire House; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Potatoes And Kickass Wine
  • Townspeople Become Obsessed With Following Christopher Around While Townspeople Not Intimately Acquainted With Rory And Lorelai Die In Unfought Fires And Unattended Medical Emergencies; Lorelai Stands Luke Up For A Diner-Painting Date, So Luke's Needlessly Closed Diner Causes Townspeople To Starve To Death
  • Dean Breaks Up With Rory, Probably Because When He Took Her Out To Dinner And Bought Her Three Kinds Of Pasta She Made Him Buy A Single Meatball And Refused To Explain The Mother-Daughter Inside Joke; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Roast
  • By Refusing To Talk About Why They Broke Up, Rory Turns The Entire Town Against Dean, Though Many Residents Wonder Why The Fuck They Feel Oddly Compelled To Care More About The Love Life Of A Teenager More Than They Care About Themselves
  • Lorelai Busts Out An Offensive (Because It's So Bad) Ricky Ricardo Accent, Causing The Sole Latino Denizen Of Stars Hollow To Feel Her Hair Rise On Her Neck And Move Out Of Town; At A Flower Stand, Lorelai Wonders Loudly If Carnations Are Retro Or Tacky, Causing The Flower Stand Man To Burn Down His Stand, Salt The Earth, And Start A Nuclear Bomb Stand In Its Place
  • Luke Puts Eggs On Top Of Pancakes, Making Eyeballs, And Lorelai Just Can't, And I Actually Agree And Blame Rachel For Distracting Luke From The Normal Preparation Of Food; Lorelai Torments Kirk Horribly At The Movie Theatre, Which Explains His Behavior For The Rest Of The Series But Doesn't Explain Why He Never Massacred Rory and Lorelai Once And For All; The Gilmores' Friday Night Dinner Features Artichokes
  • Lorelai Forces Luke To Stage A Fashion Show At His Lunch Counter In Front Of All His Customers, Who Lose Their Appetites Over Lorelai Adjusting Luke's Fit In Public
  • Rory Importunes A Doose's Bag Boy While Trying To Find Dean, And Reminds Him How Much He Hates His Job; Max Delivers One Thousand Daisies To The Inn, Which Probably Causes Every Guest To Die Of Sneezing Seizures


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