10 Ways We Could (And SHOULD) Have A Gilmore Girls/Supernatural Crossover Event
Stephanie Lucianovic does the work of two TV shows' writing staffs. You're welcome.
I can't be the only one out there who has dreamed of Dean coming back to Stars Hollow just to rub the town's nose in his Sam Winchester alias and wipe the town clean of demons, djinns, and Dooses in the bloodiest possible way. Therefore, I have helpfully provided some ways this could be achieved just in case Netflix is listening.
- Five days before Armageddon, Castiel goes to live among the regular people of a peaceful but quirky New England town in order to rest up for humanity's final fight. After three days in Stars Hollow, Castiel decides to fight no more forever.
Sam and Dean arrive in Stars Hollow on the trail of a Korneber, the feared German pig corn demon, which was raised by Taylor in order to pull off a corn maze in the town center that surpasses Woodbury's.
Lorelai makes a "He Who Walks Behind The Rows" fart joke, Dean winks at her, and they disappear in Metallicar for two weeks.
On a special avenging angel mission, Castiel drags Sookie to the Gates of Heaven to confront every innocent victim of her kitchen clumsiness but first he recognizes Michel as a brother angel and reminds him he's doing God's work.
Michel puts away the angel blade he'd been about to use on Kirk for tracking bedbugs into the Dragonfly and pouts.
Receiving reports of brutal murders in the kitchen at the Dragonfly Inn, Dean goes undercover as the Squire of Bracebridge. When Sam stops Sookie from taking a cleaver to her sous chef, Sookie realizes she's pregnant again and goes after Jackson with a meat cleaver for failing to get yet another vasectomy.
Just in time, Mrs. Kim outs herself as an archangel and reveals that Sookie is actually pregnant with Charlie's reincarnation. Charlie springs forth fully formed and runs off with Paris to Oz.
- Learning about a town curiously obsessed with the private lives of two of its citizens, Sam and Dean discover a hex bag buried under several cat carcasses in Babette's garden. Taylor holds a town meeting to vote on whether or not to burn Babette on an enormous knitting needle during the Knit-a-Thon which is being held save the town's traffic camera that has has been stalking Stars Hollowians and blackmailing them with compromising photos taken at the intersection. Sam and Dean reveal that Taylor is the one controlling the camera using a grimoire he found at Bootsy's newsstand. They also hint that Taylor is either a Shtriga or a Wendigo, so the town burns him on the knitting needle instead and Dean shoots out the traffic camera with the Colt.
- A cursed basket at the charity picnic basket auction, which enslaves the recipient and forces them to eat nothing but Mrs. Kim's eggless egg sandwiches for the rest of their life, turns out to be the work of Lillith who is now back after Taylor got confused when he tried summoning Lillith Fair to Stars Hollow.
After consulting with the files in the Men of Letters bunker, Sam and Dean determine that the only way to kill Lillith again is to go back in time and kill Jess.
- Having broken down and gotten fixed by Luke for so many years, Lorelai's Jeep becomes possessed by a misogynistic spirit and tries to eat her. Next, the Dragonfly Inn's horse-drawn sleigh becomes possessed by a homophobic spirit and tries to eat either Taylor or Michel (it isn't entirely clear which). Sam and Dean finally step in only after Christopher's truck becomes possessed by a misandrist spirit and actually does eat him. After consulting with the files in the Men Of Letters bunker, Sam and Dean determine that the only way to exorcise the spirits is to go into the future and kill Jess.
Because of the audible anachronism that occurred with Lorelai's cell phone last time, Woodbury has wrested control of the Festival Of Living Art from Stars Hollow. A perturbed Taylor bustles about arranging a human sacrifice in the town gazebo, for which Kirk has volunteered himself. When Taylor is unable to bring himself to say the word "hell," the curse aborts, and Kirk is instead imprisoned in his Festival of Living Art role: Edvard Munch's The Scream.
After consulting with the files in the Men Of Letters bunker, Sam and Dean determine that the only way to break the curse is to kill Jess.
Sam tells Rory he has died six times. Rory asks him to read her campaign-trail blog posts and tell her what he thinks of them. Sam tells Rory he drank demon blood. Rory tells him he needs to try Luke's coffee because he now has a burr grinder that no one is allowed to breathe near. Sam tells Rory he spent 120 years in Hell in a cage being tortured by Lucifer. Rory tells him she's really sorry he can't live without her but she's moved on and begs him to do the same.
Sam leaves Rory a parting gift of a book written by a nun named Agnes.
Sam and Dean finally track down God. They expected God to be judgmental.
They just didn't expect God to be wearing a Chanel suit.