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Reason Netflix released the whole season the same day.

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Pretty Much Everybody On Fuller House Pairs Up for Christmas

Love is in the air instead of snow, so it's time to judge and rank the new and classic relationships as portrayed in S02.E12!

It's the penultimate episode of the season: if this were an HBO show, it would be time to pay especially close attention because all of the fires burning throughout the year permanently scar some characters and illuminate others, baby! Fuller House isn't HBO, but it technically isn't TV either, so "Nutcrackers" does have a little dramatic heft in that it pairs up the solitary and further advances the established romantic entanglements. (Also, Kimmy kicks someone in the groin, because you can't unlight that firecracker.) But how strong are these relationships at Christmas time in San Francisco? Glad I asked.

  1. DJ & Matt
    Matt is out of the country visiting family, because John Brotherton was only signed up for seven episodes this season maybe? Poor Matt seems to really like his co-worker -- the one keeping the fine folks at Mylanta aloft -- even though she has never let Steve out of her mind, and Steve refuses to stop hanging around.
  2. Steve & CJ
    The cards are heavily stacked against Steve and anybody who isn't Deej at this point, and it's driven home when Max goes through an old shoebox that honest-to-goodness is marked "DJ and Steve forever." Since Ceej isn't an idiot and is probably well aware of how long "forever" is, her relationship with the podiatrist is awfully shaky. Outside of her and Steve making out on his ex's couch while said ex gives them a free X-ray and consultation on CJ's daughter's rabbit, CJ is pretty likable, too. I guess I'll give the show credit for not just turning her into an easily dislikable person.
  3. Jackson & Lola
    So Jackson's father is really Nick Miller from the first few seasons of New Girl right? He says things like "Not to brag or anything, but being awkward around girls is kind of my thing," and has claimed not to have any hobbies. He also appears to Lola at the worst possible time looking for a mistletoe kiss, and gets one from his mother instead. He completely forgets to get his lady a Christmas present, electing simply to grab the first present he sees under the tree once he realizes his mistake. Lola doesn't even invite him to her party, and this fact is never mentioned at all, by anyone. Any compelling story involving the two ended the day Lola agreed to go out with him and the "will they or won't they?" business stopped. So Nick from the first few seasons. I worry about Jackson.
  4. Cosmo & Jack
    It's strange to hear the inner monologue of Cosmo the dog. Salem the cat from Sabrina: The Teenage Witch with 25% more lasciviousness? It's too over-the-top for this show. At least Jack the rabbit was also allowed some dialogue, even if it was just for a cheap punchline.

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    Netflix

    But hey, Cosmo seems taken by him, and officially gets more lines, stories, and screen time than the human infant Tommy. Good dog!

  5. Stephanie & Jimmy
    Jimmy is, of course, the offspring of Kelso from That '70s Show (so much so that I'm curious if the producers of that Fox series have seen this season of Fuller House, though they certainly already know that Adam Hagenbuch, who plays him, also already played Ashton Kutcher in that Lifetime biopic of Brittany Murphy">that Lifetime biopic of Brittany Murphy), and the silly ol' lunkhead has fallen for our Stephanie Tanner.

    Netflix

    Netflix

    This relationship has progressed really quickly, and Stephanie was completely right in not saying, at first, that she loves him back. But as her sister reminds her -- and the audience -- Stephanie has never been in a relationship long enough to allow anybody to get too close. I figured it was because she was traveling the world and having fun with her deejaying, but apparently it also could be because she's been afraid to let anyone in since her mother died. Sure, that too. It's a little strange that this has never been explored before. I feel so sorry for forgotten middle children now. Anyway, Stephanie does drop the L bomb to Jimmy by the end of the episode, and suddenly it really looks like the two kids just might make it.

  6. Kimmy & Fernando
    Fernando has ingratiated himself into the extended family in Season 2, although the divorced couple's season-long arc of getting married again kind of just disappeared. It seems like the writers think having one member of the she-wolf pack involved in a relationship drama is enough.
  7. Max & Rose
    I love that Max is done with his season-long environmental project. It always seemed like there was some hidden meaning to all of it that I somehow wasn't getting, and this whole series was secretly funded by Monsanto. Max meets a youngun named Rose, who loves the movie Titanic as much as he does. They recreate the scenes you'd think would be recreated and throw around the terms "dream girl" and "soulmate" like they're no big deal. That Rose is CJ's daughter will and should complicate matters. Also, Titanic didn't end well, right? (Never seen it.) I still say these two are in a strong place at the moment, knowing full well Rose might get written out of the show and never spoken of again.
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