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Reason Netflix dropped the whole season the same day.


Didn't DJ Already Make That Big Choice About Her Love Life On Fuller House?

And more questions sparked by the Season 2 premiere!

Didn't DJ already make her big choice vis-à-vis her love life?

Last season closed on DJ pulling a Kelly Taylor, acknowledging that being on the rebound from a guy who burned to death in the line of duty is probably not the healthiest starting point for a new relationship, and vowing to reprioritize her life before reentering the dating market. This seemed surprisingly sensible for a show like Fuller House, which is probably why we're tossing that plot point straight out the window in the opening ten seconds of Season 2 and going straight back to watching her waffle endlessly between Matt and Steve. She didn't mean any of that big speech, you guys!

Allegedly, DJ has made a choice, though; she just isn't able to choose her choice at the moment, since Matt and Steve both took her at her word and moved on. Obviously, since this is a sitcom and there are no other suitable candidates for casual dates in this universe, DJ's next step will be to silently pine for whoever she's secretly chosen until the other one becomes available, and then she'll settle for that guy and start to actually like him, and then her first choice will come to his senses but now she likes the other guy, and around and around we go.

Northern California is a buyers' market when it comes to awkward dudes, Deej. Why limit yourself to just these two? Hop onto Tinder and start meeting some Silicon Valley nerds already.

Who the hell is watching Tommy?

You, the viewer, are forgiven if you periodically forget there's a baby living in this house, because the family philosophy on this kid is that he's basically a piece of furniture. Young Tommy evidently spends his days mostly alone, parked in one baby-centric structure or another -- high chair, exersaucer, crib -- awaiting periodic visits from the other Fullers, who totally ignore his baby needs in favor of dumping their problems on him and interpreting the wordless flailings they get in response as some sort of oracle. Which, sure, his Aunt Michelle basically taught a master class in this about thirty years ago, but note that here in the present day, Aunt Michelle barely speaks to any of these bozos. Coincidence? You tell me.

Should Fuller House extend its run into the kid's more interactive phases, I predict one of two things will happen, based on how cute the twins portraying him remain. He'll either begin functioning as a sort of magic 8-ball of adorable catchphrases and eventually become the central focus of the show (again, much like his Aunt Michelle), or he'll quietly follow in the footsteps of Judy Winslow and Chuck Cunningham, whom I've just now decided spent the remainder of their respective sitcom runs in a similar advisory capacity, locked up in the basement, wordlessly dispensing secret advice off-camera.

For now, though, I'd caution the Fuller House gang to start watching this kid a little more carefully. He's wise beyond his years, and now he's also fully mobile. Leave him alone for too long and he'll probably burn down the house.

Wait, Kimmy has a brother now?

For a sitcom that has thus far been so obsessed with the continuity of its parent program that it routinely calls on us to remember things like six-year-old Stephanie's backyard wedding and all the words to Jesse and the Rippers' signature hit song, the introduction of Jimmy Gibbler as a romantic foil for Steph seems like a bold choice. If we know one thing about Kimmy, it's that she's so annoying her own family basically let the neighbors raise her. In other words, the Gibblers really don't seem like the kind of people who would have even considered having a second child, and if they did, he'd have been over to Chez Tanner at least once in his life before now, wouldn't he? Unless, of course, he spent his childhood serving a similar function to the one Tommy serves now: alone in a playpen, patiently waiting for family members to lay their problems at his feet.

Is the "Back to School Barbecue" really that much of a tradition?

If DJ apparently finds this party important enough to merit the printing of annual T-shirts, why do the only non-resident guests seem to be Ramona's bestie, plus DJ's two erstwhile suitors and their new girlfriends? Shouldn't there be some extras milling around, not to mention the extended fam? Uncle Joey's not one to turn down free food.

If Matt knows a woman who's basically a DJ clone, why wasn't he dating her himself?

The way I see it, there are two possibilities. One, CJ is some sort of close relative, and Matt's attraction to DJ is his subconscious attempt to channel his attraction to CJ in a more appropriate direction. Two, Matt already dated CJ at some point, he isn't over her, and his attraction to DJ was always just an attempt to relive the past (and setting CJ up with Steve is his twisted way of keeping her close). Either way, Matt just became way more interesting.

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