This article contains information that could be considered too revealing according to our spoiler policy. Proceed with caution. You can't unsee it!Reason Netflix released the whole season the same day.
Because There's Always A Lesson: What Did We Learn From Fuller House?
If you're watching with your kids, you didn't expose them to a bad message. Really!
Through this weirdly uneven first season of Fuller House, we've discovered that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Or something. Maybe that rule only applies to multi-camera sitcoms resuscitated, vampire-like, from the dead with none of the original cast aging at all. Seriously, John Stamos is shockingly hot, and Dave Coulier...well, he still looks like Dave Coulier.
Anyway, most of us grow up to become cynical and snarky, and yet, in the world of Fuller House, there continues to exist a tiny pocket of nice people who hug a lot. As Mark Blankenship already pointed out, there are worse things! I still get weirded out by preternaturally quippy child actors, but if we survived the Olsens, we can survive anything.
If you end up watching this show because if you do not find a way to make your kids stop demanding Disney movies every time you turn on Netflix and there's pretty much only Mulan and Lilo & Stitch and OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT WATCH EITHER OF THOSE GODDAMN MOVIES AGAIN, then the season finale is kinda worth it, especially if you have girls. No, really! (I mean, no joke, Mulan cannot be watched more than 50 times without your head exploding, and I'm at 49.)
The story of the season ender is, as you'd expect, pretty simple. No Stephanie-can't-have-babies big bummer stuff for the feel-good finale. There's going to be a wedding! Jesse and Becky want to renew their vows, and of course they need to do it in the old homestead because the set designers did not do all that work to recreate the old set for nothing. Kimmy is, of course, going to piggyback her own nuptials to Fernando. Jesse isn't thrilled about this, but Becky thinks it's fun! Why not? She's even going to give Jesse a "Becky Special" for being so accommodating. Zoinks!
(For the record, Kimmy annoys in a remarkable number of ways in this episode. Truly, D.J. should change the locks.)
The wedding plot is further complicated by the two guys fighting for D.J.'s hand: Matt and Steve. I was a little charmed by the way this plays out -- with D.J. supposed to give the "final rose" to the winning bachelor, because of course anyone who watches Fuller House also watches The Bachelorette: it's just as scripted and equally corny. There's also some cutesy kid stuff in which Jackson tries to seduce Lola -- which, in kid language, means "touch without screaming about cooties."
The wedding almost goes off without a hitch, except for the enormous hitches of Stephanie and Kimmy drunkenly inviting both of D.J.'s fella-suitors to be her date at the wedding and, oh yeah, Kimmy repeatedly running from the altar. I really thought Kimmy's biggest crime was when she started snarfing down the wedding cake in between bolts and making it all about her. Again: change the locks, D.J.
But ultimately, D.J. and Kimmy both come to the same conclusion: they aren't ready to be in committed, long-term relationships. D.J. chooses herself instead of either Matt or Steve, and Kimmy reveals that she really wants to keep living with her "She-Wolf Pack" in an amazing San Fran gingerbread palace. "I like my life the way it is, and I'm not ready to change it," says Kimmy, which is pretty much the motto for the whole damn show. There's even a not-awful scene in which the roomies and Becky, post-bachelorette party, drunkenly sing the Spice Girls' "Wannabe." It's about girl power! Sort of!
Okay, to call it a feminist celebration would be way too generous. But the flipping of the script -- from three men and a bunch of girls to three women and a bunch of boys -- finally pays off in a pretty great way. Not only are these girls all grown up: they don't need men to validate their existences. They aren't just listening to their hearts and hormones, but their heads -- and they're relying on one another for the emotional support they need. They are, as D.J. so succinctly puts it, choosing themselves. And cake, apparently, and sometimes tequila, but still. If a little girl needs a non-animated antidote to the happily-ever-after horseshit, this isn't so bad.
But if I were going to be cynical about it, I'd say this was just setting up the show for a second season (which it already has nailed down). But...girl power! Sort of!