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Will Any Couples Earn A Dime On The Dancing With The Stars Quarterfinals?

Normani and Val are the only remaining couple who have earned solid perfect tens, so are all the others just fighting it out for second place? Or can they peak at the right time?

I can't believe we're down to five contestants and that Heather Morris isn't one of them, hashtag still mad. Tonight, each couple will perform two full dances. In the first round, the pros get to choose a song that they feel matches their partner's spirit. So, they basically just pick a song? This is a very forced theme. The second round will be a trio dance and they claim there will be a twist. Wait for the exciting twist -- instead of getting to choose their own third partner, the judges will choose! Was anyone excited or surprised by this twist? It feels like it was just put in place so that Lindsay didn't just pick Witney again. Here are your rankings:

10. Bonner and Sharna and Britt: Jazz

Their story is that Bonner is an oil mogul and Sharna and Britt are his secretaries. Bonner wants to have a move where he smacks their butts. Shut up, Bonner. When I asked you to show some personality, I didn't need that personality to be "lech." I don't know why Sharna choreographed body rolls in this routine because Bonner is not good at them. This routine feels like it was choreographed for Rashad or even David and Bonner got stuck in there, because there's a lot of pelvic thrusting and Bonner looks totally awkward. Julianne is basically like, "That was super-basic, but that's what America likes." Scores: 28/40.

9. David and Lindsay and Hayley: Paso Doble

Lindsay comes up with the story that David is a gladiator entering the arena. David definitely brings the intensity to this routine but he seems to forget he has elbows for most of the dance. His arms are straight as sticks. The emotion is there but the technique is not, which is kind of the David Ross story. The judges mostly try to be nice, but it wasn't as good as his usual. Scores: 29/40.

8. Bonner Bolton and Sharna: Argentine Tango

Sharna wants to revisit Bonner's accident for this routine, but didn't he already do a routine about his accident? I'm starting to feel like Bonner is just a really boring person and there is nothing interesting about him other than his accident. Anyway, he gets frustrated and leaves rehearsal early. Bonner's technique is much better this week than previously. His posture is great and he nails all the footwork. I just find him so dull. The judges are not impressed with this outing. Scores: 30/40.

7. David Ross and Lindsay: Waltz

Lindsay chooses a song called "Humble And Kind" and David agrees that it describes him, which is sort of not humble but I'll let it go. David talks a lot about how his parents passed on their values to him and he hopes to pass them on to his own kids. This really feels like a father/daughter wedding dance, and David is obviously emotionally connected to it; I think there are tears in his eyes at the beginning and he's wiping his eyes at the end. It's not the most thrilling routine I've ever seen but the technique is fine and the emotions are high. The judges are very touched and think it's David's best routine yet. Scores: 36/40.

6. Simone and Sasha and Brittany: Paso Doble

It's interesting that the judges gave them a female trio partner, since that's unusual. Simone is happy to have a fellow lady to bond with, and it's nice to see her acting like a normal person for once. They do a much more traditional trio dance where the couple dances like normal and then the third person just kind of hangs on the back. It's not my favorite look, although of course the technique is spot on. The judges all liked it but they weren't blown away, and when Bruno goes to grab his score paddle, he falls out of his chair. Scores: 36/40.

5. Simone Biles and Sasha: Foxtrot

Sasha thinks Simone is capable of a perfect score, but the judges have dinged her for a lack of connection with her partner and the audience. This dance has Simone actually show some emotion -- like, she has a genuine smile instead of her pasted-on gymnastics smile, at least for parts of it. Her technique is perfect as always. The judges think that Simone is playing it a little safe and they want to see some raw emotion. Scores: 36/40.

4. Rashad Jennings and Emma: Jive

Emma chose "Shake Your Tail Feather" from the Blues Brothers soundtrack, and don't sleep on that album. It's amazing. I wore that cassette out in college. Anyway, I love this routine. Rashad is just so full of joy, and he gets better as the routine goes on as he loosens up a bit. There are a few technique things he could improve; he's a little flat on his feet. But it's full of content and it's a fast dance so I can't fault him. The judges love his attitude but want more attention paid to his footwork. Scores: 36/40.

3. Rashad and Emma and Witney: Argentine Tango

Rashad seems overwhelmed by these two together and I don't blame him. Witney gets her contractual dummy moment of the season when she reveals that she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a rapper. The three of them weave together really well. Rashad's feet are still not great, but they do some amazing lifts together. The judges thought it was passionate and sexy. Scores: 39/40.

2. Normani and Val and Alan: Jive

They decide to do a country jive and Val says he's going to dress like Bonner. Normani likes that idea; she might have a little crush on Bonner. Their routine is fast with tons of partner switches and men throwing their shirts off and then at the end, Normani ends up with Bonner, who wandered onto the stage. Did not see that twist coming! One thing I liked about this routine is that it really featured Normani. She was the center of attention the whole time. The judges love how Normani can play different characters although Len didn't like how she danced on the judges' table. Scores: 39/40.

1. Normani Kordei and Val: Contemporary

Normani shared with Val about how horribly she was bullied online, including people making images of Normani being beaten and whipped. You know, because she's black. People who do that should have their internet access revoked for like 25 years and to get it back, they have to do community service related to their area of bigotry. Normani dances beautifully. She looks like a pro and puts so much emotion into her movements. The only tiny critique I have is that they fumbled a little coming out of the first lift, but it was miniscule. Even Len, who secretly hates contemporary, can't deny that the audience was completely silent because they were enthralled. Scores: 40/40.

Elimination

It comes down to Rashad or Bonner going home and I was ready to flip a table if Rashad went home, but luckily it was Bonner. Goodbye, Mr. Personality!

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