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Why Is Containment Trying to Convince Us That Deadly Viral Outbreaks Are No Biggie?

And other questions about 'Be Angry At The Sun.'

Sooooooooooooo, not much happening in HotZoneLanta this week. (Does that work? should I shorten it to The HZL? will L'il Jon use it in a song if I do?) There is an outbreak going on of a disease that is highly contagious, spreads quickly, has a 100% death rate, lacks an antidote, and could threaten the existence of the entire human race, and half of this episode is spent showing the audience characters' inane text messages. I now know what Nero would have been doing if smartphones existed in Ancient Rome.

The virus was spreading inside the cordon at the being of the episode, and it's still spreading at the end. Done. Next episode.

...okay, maybe a bit more happens. Perhaps most importantly, Dr. Lommers and her hair get the authorities to shut down the internet inside the cordon after sleazy online tabloid journalist Leo Greene reveals the existence of a way out of the containment zone, leading to the cops shooting an escapee. The guns come out in another way as Teen Mom Teresa almost has her store looted by some rednecks with shotguns. Why does it always seem to be poor white trash who are toting guns around in TV's version of The South? I have spent my entire adult life in the South (more than a decade of that time in Atlanta), have been far closer to American gun culture than I am comfortable with, and I have some news for y'all: if this ever happened for realz, I wish it would be just rednecks driving around in broken-down pick-up trucks who had the guns, because those folks are easy to spot. But it won't be only them -- not in HotZoneLanta. (Nope, not working. Never mind, L'il Jon.) The ones you will really have to worry about are the ones you would never consider -- the lawyer in a $1,000 suit, the head of the Chamber of Commerce, your dentist, and probably that nice old lady in Buckhead who gives your kid piano lessons.

Lacking anything truly dramatic in this drama, let's consider a few questions that are on my mind.

Where did Jake's crushing self-doubt and self-pity come from?

Will somebody PLEASE slap this guy in the face and tell him to get a grip? He has done nothing but bitch, moan, whine, and complain the entire time, breaking up that routine for the occasional temper tantrum.

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The CW

Boo hoo, Jake. You don't think you can take command over a dozen cops inside the cordon? Cry me a river. You're upset because you had Braves tickets and you're stuck inside a contaminated hospital instead? Guess what: the Braves are horrible this year (again!), and if you can't handle a deadly virus outbreak you don't have a prayer with the carpocalypse that is going to happen next year when they move out to Cobb County.

Lex clues us in a little bit on Jake's past when they meet up inside a container, a decision that is in direct violation of Dr. Lommer's strict instructions. Turns out Jake was a bit of a troublemaker back in the day, skipping class and whatnot. Lex, for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom, kept him on the straight and narrow. Whatever Lex saw in Jake, Jake certainly does not see it in himself, despite defusing the looting situation at Teen Mom Teresa's store and preventing a mad rush to the exit point Leo Greene told everyone about. I'm sure he is going to explain his whole sordid past to Katie at some point. I'm just not sure that I'll give a damn by the time he does.

What led to Leo Greene's downfall?

Leo Greene is starting to show a little depth and complexity. As we found out previously, he had been a legit journalist at some point in his past. And while he plays the slimebag tabloid hack in public, it seems like some of that old commitment to ethics and standards is still sloshing around inside him.

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The CW

After a visit from Lex, who encourages him to be more thoughtful about what he is putting online, he is turned on to an exit point out of the cordon the police have overlooked. Egged on by his sources inside the containment zone to put up the footage on his website, he struggles with the decision, clearly knowing the consequences his actions will lead to. He does it anyway, but that brief pause has whetted my appetite for the skinny on what brought him so low. Sex scandal? Was he guilty of massive plagiarism? Did he get on the wrong side of Megyn Kelly?

What is the deal with Teen Mom Teresa, anyway ?

I can't for the life of me figure out what Teresa is doing in this show and why I should care. Since her failed attempt at running away with her Baby Daddy Xander, she has pretty much holed herself up in a room, doing nothing but FaceTiming with him. Which, come to think of it, is exactly what teenage girls do in the real world. Which is why they annoy the crap out of me. God help me when my daughter hits those years. I'm going to spend half a decade walking around with a confused yet guilty look asking what I did to piss her off before breakfast on a Tuesday.

Will Dr. Sexy British Accent turn out to be an evil mad scientist?

I'm starting to put a lot of my eggs of hope for the future of the show in this guy's basket. He is getting rolled out a little bit more in each episode, and I'm starting to look forward to his scenes each time he shows up. And I'm getting a bit of a creep vibe from him. He knows more about this virus than anyone else, and his explanations for what he knows never seem entirely convincing. Maybe burning the corpses is the best way to dispose of them. Or is it? Maybe he actually is just a kind-hearted, highly dedicated, and wicked smart CDC doctor. Or maybe he's really deep undercover for a secret government agency. Yeah, that's it. And he's in Atlanta working on a drug that would be sold as a childhood vaccine but is actually based on alien technology and meant to kill off the entire human race except for a few select people. But then two FBI agents, one a true believer and the other a skeptic (but super-hot), discover the plot and race against time to save the planet from extinction...wait. Dammit. That's another show -- one in which stuff actually happened. Get it together, Containment! Something needs to start happening soon or I'm heading over to Netflix to watch the entire second season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for the third time in two weeks.

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