How To Lose A Guy In Ten Seconds
Abbi unintentionally demonstrates the man-repellingest lines in history, and we've collected them for posterity.
A few months ago, when New Girl's Jess joined Dice, the show's version of Tinder, we gave the montage of terrible meetups the respect it deserved and commemorated the very worst openers from all the guys she immediately ditched. But as much as all those men were human garbage spectacularly undeserving of ever finding love, it's also true that women don't always say the right things to men in potentially romantic interactions, which the latest Broad City reminds us of...excruciatingly.
We haven't seen Abbi's down-the-hall crush Jeremy this season (maybe because he's moonlighting as a newspaper editor in Boston on Chasing Life), but in case we worried that male-Stacy had usurped him in Abbi's affections, here he is, flustering her in the way that only he can.
In the end, Jeremy decides to take at face value a twenty-three-minute voicemail from a post-wisdom tooth extraction, Vicodin-addled Abbi, in which she declares, at last, that she likes him, and helps them get to the next stage of whatever their relationship is going to be by telling her he'd love to go on a date with her. But before that, shit gets rough. Please proceed only if you haven't hideously embarrassed yourself in front of a romantic prospect in...I'm going to say the last five years, or it could be soon and too brutal.