Six LeMeure Is Better Than You (And Blossom)
We should all be as fearless as Six and her fashion choices.
In 1991, I was thirteen, and one of my most cogent memories of the time was being assailed in the hallway by one of my fellow eighth-graders, informing me that "Brenda fucked Dylan." I was minimally aware of the existence of Beverly Hills, 90210, but what I knew about it proved much too terrifying for my sheltered brain to handle. I opted for the infinitely more palatable yet equally fashion-distressed Blossom. In order to proclaim to the universe my commitment to Blossom Russo, I convinced my mother that acquiring several very large hats with flowers affixed to them was in my best interest, and convinced myself that my wearing these beasts to school on a regular basis had nothing to do with my status a social pariah. (Eighth-graders are terrible people.)
There's nothing like re-watching a show twenty-five years later to make you reconsider everything you once believed. For example, upon a second watching of Blossom, it's become very clear to me that Six, Patron Saint of Fast Talking People everywhere, is the actual hero of this show, and the person I should have been aspiring to emulate when I was preoccupied by Blossom and her Rory Gilmore-esque neurosis.
- If you're contemplating going to second base with your boyfriend, Six will shriek with you about the momentousness of this step, and then remind you that there are details to consider: will said boyfriend be touching your actual boobs, or just making overtures toward them, groping over your sweater with the delicacy of a hungry bear?
- Thinking about cheating on your boyfriend (David Lascher!) with a musician? Totally do it! It doesn't even count! Shut up and just get it in, as Six plans to do in Season 3 with her boyfriend of five weeks, Kevin, played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar, in a car atop Sex Point. (Spoiler: she does not, because Zack Morris turns out to be a huge dick.) In order to exact revenge upon Zack and his insatiable wang, Six steals his keys and leaves him trapped in his car on Mulholland Drive.
- Six is a Manipulator of Men, as in the time she convinced Joey that they had sex when they didn't, and he got all squirmy about it.
God, how I love her. Six is the perfect combination of giving no fucks and giving strategic fucks...
...like the time she dated Sonny (David Schwimmer), a twenty-six-year-old married mechanic who's been in jail, but who cares, everyone deserves a second chance, so stop being so crappy and judgemental, BLOSSOM.
Twenty-five years later, Blossom holds up really well. It's funny and smart. It's astonishingly risqué for a '90s primetime sitcom -- totally blunt and unapologetic in talking about sex and possible sex and periods and pregnancy scares. And there is a lot of talking about sex and people doing sex to each other and wanting to do sex to each other -- especially, but not limited to, teenagers; there's definitely no shying away from the innate horniness of the characters.
It doesn't go totally off the reservation, of course: Blossom still constantly refers to sex as "it," her dad is overprotective in a gross Purity Ball kind of way, and Vinnie has to ask Blossom to marry him because how else does a teenage romance resolve itself? And there is that episode when Six has a pregnancy scare, because a teenaged girl isn't allowed to enjoy her sexuality without being punished in some way for it.
Six is the source of so much of the realness on the show, forcing everyone to deal with themselves, and making the mistakes of youth while avoiding careening down a shame spiral. Also, wear the shit out of that choker necklace/vest/suspenders, Six: they'll be back to torment us all in two decades.