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Not So Fast, Big Brother

The houseguests race to throw each other under the bus.

On Target

9

As you recall, Paul nominated Bridgette because he wants her out, and Paulie to serve as his pawn. Paulie is cool with all of that, except the one he wants out this week is Da'Vonne. As for Da'Vonne herself, she's a little disappointed that Nicole isn't the pawn as planned. This is not only because Da'Vonne kind of has it in for Nicole, but because something happened that she wasn't privy to and that is not Da'Vonne's jam.

But that doesn't mean Da'Vonne isn't still going to get mixed up in stuff. She figures that the recently de-Franked Bridgette is in the market for a new ally, so she offers her a little friendly guidance in the form of trying to enlist her in her shadow campaign against Nicole. To her credit, even Bridgette isn't that desperate. Meanwhile, Paul is hedging his bets with Bridgette by lying that Da'Vonne is the real target. Or rather, "lying," because Paulie.

Later, when Da'Vonne asks Paulie and Paul what their Plan B is in the event Bridgette gets saved, they don't have one. Da'Vonne really should realize that if someone's not telling you their Plan B, it means you're the Plan B. And yet PP act like Da' is the one acting sketchy here. But at least when Paulie reports back to Nicole, she's on board with booting Da'Vonne. Surprise.

Wednesday Night Filler

5

Nicole tries to tell some of the boys about a dream she had about Derrick and possibly Cody from her first season, but their porn-centric reactions only reinforce my decision to refer to them as "boys." Later, Paul prankishly sprays some kind of beauty product into Michelle's tea mug, and she responds by hurling an apple at him, hard enough to leave a welt. Michelle feels bad about this, as she kind of should, but the hysterical crying fit she launches into is reminiscent of her mob-funeral reaction to her own failure to Veto Frank last week. Paul even tries to talk her down, but she's worried they're all going to think she's a violent person. No, Meech, they're going to think you're an immature mess.

Bad Showmance

9

You wouldn't know this because Zakiyah gets no screen time, but she has kind of a thing going with Paulie. Except Paulie is starting to freeze her out in favor of his Mini-Me, Paul. In fact, he confides to Paul that all of Zakiyah's drama -- of which we have seen none -- has convinced him to "clip her." Because, he says, he is a grown man and he don't deal with that. If he's expecting Paul to be stoked about being his rebound, he is going to be disappointed because Paul advises him to be nice (which is good advice under most circumstances anyway). And when Zakiyah politely wonders why Paulie's acting like a dick, his response is to act like more of a dick. Let's hope that now Zakiyah at least feels better that this toolshed isn't really her boyfriend.

But then later they make up, and Paulie reveals that, as far as he's concerned, it's Da'Vonne's week to go. Zakiyah isn't really feeling that, and quietly suggests to Paulie that maybe Paul should go before he wins it all. Paulie resolves to report this to Paul toot-sweet, because dicks before chicks, amirite? Seriously, Z, you would have had better luck advising Paulie to evict his own junk.

Stiff Competition

9

In the drawing for the Power of Veto players, Paulie makes Victor his Houseguest's Choice. (Corey and Natalie also get their names drawn, so we could say that all of the remaining Spy Girls are playing, if the Spy Girls were still a thing.) So the actual competition is a replay of "Ready, Set, Whoa" from last year, which I don't blame you if you don't remember. It's basically making the players crouch indefinitely on a starting block for a twenty-foot sprint while a monitor screen tries to trick them into jumping the gun. But the real challenge -- for me, at least -- is all the times we have to listen to Nicole mispronounce the word "button." There are two T's in that word, Nicole. Please enunciate at least one of them. In the end, Paulie dominates the competition throughout, and wins PoV just as planned.

Neato Veto

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Paul doesn't want to blindside Da'Vonne when he makes her his replacement nominee, just in case she has the Round Trip ticket and is allowed right back in after her eviction. So he tries to sell her on being the nominee in advance, which is a deal she's not buying. So Paul just tried to trade a 9% chance that Da'Vonne would come back pissed, in favor of a 100% chance that she's going to be pissed from now until eviction night. And then maybe come back pissed anyway! So then, at the actual Veto ceremony, Paulie Vetoes himself. And Paul replacement-nominates Da'Vonne. So: no surprises there, not even for Da'Vonne.

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