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We'll Take 'Gabrielle Carteris's Total Commitment To Ohhhhhndrea's Rage In The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids' For $200, Alex

The Zuckerman-Vasquez marriage is in jeopardy...and so's our lunch.

The Again With This podcast that explains these Visual Aids sounds like something we don't even want to get into.

The reaction to this gross Jackie/Mel (..."Jel"? "Mackie"?) reunion is a glimmer of the Kelly we used to love.

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If Rex is going to bunk at Jackie's, he might make himself useful and "accidentally" break those hideous lamps.

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Hard no on these sneaker flatform shootie whatevers on Donna.

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Tiny backpack returns!

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Cool dude is cool.

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"YEAH, SOUNDS 'GREAT'" stuff.

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In which Dylan immediately regrets even making eye contact with Ass-quez.

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What's worse than sticking your butt in your host's face while for some reason going through the china breakfront that said 20-year-old host for some reason has?

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Glad you asked: looming!

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Well, seriously.

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Ohhhhhndrea, who can't be a chooser when it comes to childcare rn -- and shouldn't be a chooser when it comes to velvety sky-blue vests, beerf -- is skeptical of Val's babysitting abilities...

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...even with these flawless boobs, which would obviously be infantnip.

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But apparently Val is so rotten to the core that even a pretentious dillweed whose waist is too tiny for him to even lift Hannah is allowed to judge her suitability for caretaking.

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It's encouraging to know that the president of SAG didn't let vanity get in the way of finding a scene's emotional truth.

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Like, ever. (Seriously, though: same. Jesse suuuuuucks, Chief. Change the locks.)

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Not that we enjoy cosigning any dickface of Brandon's, but we can't disagree that eating ice cream in front of a game show is kind of a weird time to roll out a Braniff Airways stewardess cosplay.

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No and no to these lewks, ladies.

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...God, remember when it was literally impossible to purchase a non-chenille sweater? You were a monster, nineties.

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It's about time someone broke Brandon's micro-balls.

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You go into this episode wondering why the great Trebek consented to lower himself to this foolishness, forgetting that he gets to drag Brandon for a full dream-sequence segment. Hashtag mustache forever.

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At Trebek, he makes this face. When his hair looks like a Fairlane fin. Asshole.

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Yeah, it's totally "bogus" when a girl is smarter than you. So: all the time.

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Brandon's true self. (Well, the hair's an improvement.)

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Yep, waking with a start, GOT IT.

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The most satisfying pants-shitting-terror mien on TV.

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Pretty sure the unsportsiest viewers in the audience could have figured out from context that that was the Twins, "Ace."

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God, AGREED.

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Jeoparbray! Although, all joking aside, he's yet again a scary aggressive lunatic with a woman in this shot. Back it up, Low Pockets, dang.

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Team Clare, obvi (including, in Sarah's case, the shirt).

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Nana kills it.

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Some "prize." Jesus, even his tuxedo pants are a two-bedroom.

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...Ew. Where'd they even get this budge Henri Connique Jr., anyway?

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Little Ohhhhhndrea serving chic-specs realness.

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The "math ISN'T hard" Barbie that never got out of beta plays along.

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Speaking of "some 'prize,'" here's Jesse to congratulate the missus. Not on her lipstick, however.

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The suit is one thing, but why is Dylan making a face generally reserved for enduring spirited defenses of Yoko Ono as an avant-garde pioneer? Is Jeopardy! too "establishment" for his skinny ass?

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Dolly Parton amounts of hairspray and a CU mascot that looks like a vulture. Great work as usual, wardrobe.

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