These Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids Are The Poo, So Take A Big Whiff
We've collected all the best visual moments from 'Home Is Where The Tart Is'!
Listen along with the Again With This podcast on "Home Is Where The Tart Is," unless you're too busy becoming a member of the Mile-High Club.
Enter Colin. He's an "artist." (The regular kind, not the pick-up artist he's pretending to be for this dumb cold open.)
And here are some of the doughy old white people in First getting boners watching Colin pretend to hit on "total stranger" Kelly...
...including this Nigel Farage-looking motherfucker.
You know how you always take transcontinental plane rides in a mini-skirt suit and bandeau top? So does Kelly.
It's not that Colin's wrong about the girls' Pier One Imports art. It's that when we see his art, it becomes clear he's hardly one to talk.
Clare's got a new shag, new highlights, a new tan, and a lot of facts about Colin at her fingertips.
Kelly's ripoff of Marilyn Monroe is very mid-'90s.
Contact with Dylan apparently makes everyone pick their navels like he does.
This is...Colin's...work. With musical notes in the air. And was he trying to create a fictional figure with hair dumber than his own?
If you wanted to make a point about paint and make your new girlfriend smell it, maybe pick any other colour than Burnt Sienna?
ANY OTHER COLOUR WOULD HAVE WORKED BETTER.
Nice jorts, dingus.
When you find a strange redhead in your bed, you just kiss her. No matter what.
Val is the '90s from her long Rachel to her men's boxer briefs worn as sleepwear.
So Jamie Walters has moved into the opening credits. May got have mercy on our souls.
Welcome back to California, Brandon and Brandon's messed-up lips.
Everything about this computer setup, from the height of Brandon's seat to his distance from his monitor to the fact that it's ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER is wrong. Get on Alta Vista and look up "ergonomics," idiot!
All-caps emails are very rude, Jim and/or Cindy.
Do you guys want to trash the house, or have a same-sex three-way in it?
Which crevice is less pleasing to the eye? You tell us!
"We're having WHAT now? ...Oh, right."
When you're straining so hard to continue loving your abusive boyfriend that your forehead hurts and your lipstick is everywhere.
Make the most of your camera time, vaguely Jenna Dewan-looking extra!
Ugh, who invited MOM.
We've been saying this to Val for a while, but now we must also address Nat: MAKE NEW FRIENDS. You think these jerkass kids are going to notice you took the thoughtful touch of putting ribbons on your sandwich? THEY AIN'T.
Make the most of your direction to "have fun," no-line extras!
Candace may not be good at real estate, but she's great at picking a sharp suit.
Steve really went all out with his hair for his party look. (What's going on in the front? Is that a weave?)
Great to know that, in Season 6, Clare will still have the best "the fuck?" faces.
TFW you've been defending your boyfriend from your mom but it really sure does seem like he stole that ring after all.
Steve can't worry about Ray's sticky fingers, because he's passed out in this extremely "relaxed" pose.