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The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids Have Made Your Hell

Not least with overly tremulous too-close-ups, as Dylan gets married, widowed, and the hell out of Dodge in S06.E10.

The Again With This podcast is the best friend these visual aids ever had.

Dylan wants to keep the ceremony private, and [hits macro key] Kelly is a bitch about it.

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Because nothing says "deep hitman cover" like a pipe.

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Thanks for making very sure we know Donna got no draws on, Camera 3.

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Leaving aside for a moment, but only a moment, the fact that these guys are terrible strippers -- is that table zoned for such activities?

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The robotic legs in the Herbie Hancock "Rockit" video are sexier than this.

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Yeah, Donna's never "smoked cigars" before.

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If Toni's "family" now, maybe let your stinkface know?

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Donna's pearl necklace, hee hee hee.

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A something-blue garter over white stockings: the basic-est.

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The cream-colored suit (with Pleated Avenger pants), the serape curtains, THE FUCKING SHEETS: every design choice a wrong one. And of course he has a seaman's chest (hee) for a table.

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Always a stinkface, never a bride. Except she could have been if she hadn't "chosen her" over the groom, so: looks good on her.

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The girl with the furious hair. ...God, those artfully "loose" locks, so perfectly and symmetrically '90s.

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Pretty smug given that you're marrying...

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...Colonel String Quartet Is Go. We think the cello's got this, Dylan, theeenks.

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Aw, Bruno. So emotional!

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Or he's struggling not to giggle at Brandon's massive best-mants.

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You may kiss the bride.

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You may not kiss her like that.

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Just let the moment that is not about you breathe, Ace.

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Colin pairs his dumb cowcatcher hair...

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...with Smurfy Gallery-Opening Shirt, Wedding Edition.

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Forget virgins, these two kiss like the Thermians from Galaxy Quest.

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Well, anything to cover those hideous linens, I guess.

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The random Capitalization makes It Seem more Personal. ...Wait, no it doesn't.

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Get a life, gentlemen.

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Well, thank God this Battlefield Earth duster is back to shield Dylan and/or Toni from a hail of bullets!

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Or not. RIP Junior.

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At least the open casket won't be a problem.

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Sorry, Brandon, do you have somewhere more interesting to be?

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Shopping for any pair of sunglasses besides these, perhaps?

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Or rehearsing this poorly timed bray at Dylan about calling the cops?

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Oh my God, WE GET IT. Why don't you just yell "I'M GIVING YOU A SIGNIFICANT LOOK NOW" while Horatio Caine-ing your shades there, Senior?

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Is Sarah the only one who thinks these two are capable at best, maybe, of a windmilling slapfight? (And, not for nothing, that these close-ups do not help create an illusion of badassery for either man?)

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Sarah's pretty sure she can speak for both co-hosts when she says she won't miss Dylan's pretentious top-loader army duffel.

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Grieving Mantis.

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"Well, it's been real, Thumbs, but that lox ain't getting any fresher." - Trouble.

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No wonder the cat hates Dylan; he's going to get the cat killed too with that jerry-rig.

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And take that dweebish handshake with you, Jones.

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A shelf broods.

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