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The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids Aren't Exactly OUR Thing, But They Have A Lot Of Energy

All the most important moments from 'The Powerman 5000 Radio Hou'-- er, 'Strike The Match'!

The Again With This podcast that accompanies these Visual Aids has it all -- style, flair...

The Dead Mom Scarf Of Relationship Dissension.

The Dead Mom Tattered Hankie Of Relationship Dissension, after Steve laundered it with, apparently, a bag of ninja throwing stars and an angry woodchuck.

Button up, Burt Bray-nolds; you're cooking.

Don't cryyyyy out loooooooooud / Just keep insiiiiide / Because Brandon's girlfriends don't get to have any feelings he doesn't approve oooooof!

If only Steven Culp could have laid the same bitchy smackdown on Brandon here that he's always trying to lay on Harry on Bosch.

"I, summer obit writer and purveyor of tiresome clichés, deserve this."

We wish someone would write an obit for the baffling '60s-throwback buttcut Susan's modeling in this episode.

Have some dignity, Keats. One of you just won a prestigious award for his/her editorial, and it wasn't this smug little fuckstick.

Problem solved and then a question mark?

We would ask who abandons an entire breakfast like this, but with that disgusting wig looming over it, we kind of see the logic.

"Secret" doubts.

What even is this hair?

American Zoetrope / Fox

The similarity to Gary Oldman's Auntie Dracula has been by our esteemed producer David T. Cole, but it's like the Blonde Dahlia and Brandon's shelf hair had a horribly misshapen child.

Grampy "enjoys" himself some Powerman 5000.

Whither Rehab Redhead?

We'd like someone to make amends for that mane comb.

"Style, flair" means sleeping in all the makeup and silver rings bought from tables on the boardwalk, apparently.

Well, that's her told.

Please note that Valerie's consternation is somehow not at this bizarre backcombed Elly May Clampett's Winchester House hair-don't she's got going on. Seriously, though: what...what?

...And Kelly is a bitch about it.

Technology.

More technology. (Extra on the left approves, bruh!)

A typically virginal Donna costume. (Sarah doesn't completely hate the brassiere, and will fire herself, don't get up.)

Gun reveal, with revelatory twirling of loaded barrel as required by Inelegant Exposition Union Local 422.

Dropping it like it's hot.

Product-placing the boob job.

A dork's dismay, or: "If I'd known it was that kind of party, I'd have washed my hair!"

The show must go on. Unfortunately.

...Here's what: Paige Moss is not now and has never been a good actor, but we have to give her credit for committing 100 percent to this obliviously joyful line delivery given what is actually on her head.

Tori Spelling isn't that great an actor either, but the crumbling-into-"ew" work she's doing with her face here is top-notch.

Kind of telling that Kelly has to (over-)react in this fashion, given that Moss's wig is so horrendous, it's not necessarily clear without Garth indicating all over the place that it's a SWF situation.

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