The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids Are Embarrassing Us, And They're Embarrassing Themselves

Even St. Donna can't keep Brandon's gambling problem from giving new and very literal meaning to the term 'rears its ugly head' in S06.E14.

The Again With This podcast that inspired these Visual Aids never would steal anything.

Meet Tammy, whose primary qualification as both agent and actor seems to be that flawless chin-length bob, but we're not super-mad at that?

This letter-opener: bullshit (Tara), or perfectly functional if the little blade is sharp enough (Sarah)? Discuss!

Helloooooo, lawsuit. (Joined as a class action by Proofreaders' Local 322. "Necesarry"?)

Hey, why didn't we get to see the bidding on An Evening With Kenny G?

Disgusted Clare, part the first. (It's that "hurp" face at the very end that makes it art.)

Disgusted Clare, part the second.

As impressionistic portraits of Colin go, this is...not bad, actually.

They call them "mock turtlenecks" because they're so mockable. Sarah is NOT a crackpot.

Tara's totally right that Jason Priestley sells the endorphin rush here. Sarah may have gotten distracted by Susan's repellent half-chignon, a look she returns to frequently despite its aggressive mumsiness.

Chips-thirst bray.

It's simply maddening that this little toadstool's hateful glaring gets him his way all the time.

In which Kathleen Robertson and Brian Austin Green, marooned up side streets off C-plots as usual, make their own fun.

Well, it's better than the mural.

After Valerie outbids her for the portrait, Kelly [holds mic out over audience]...come on, you know this one. ...Seldom wrong and right again: she's a bitch about it.

Although we're also fans of the inadvertent shade these extras are throwing on Colin's "talent" with their silent-movie horror at the bidding war.

Kelly Is A Bitch About It: Home Edition.

Boo-boo kitty barely apologizes to Nat.

Exactly, Susan! Now stick the landi-- dammit.

Where's our apology for wasting thousands of NASA man-hours trying to parse that crop circle of a "hair" "style"?

So. Much. Hand-twiddling! CUT! WE GOT IT!

Playing "tourist in the lives of the less fortunate" dress-up is fun! Heeng.

"Alcatraz Market: you'll DIG our bargains!" ...No.

Isaiah, poster child for Donna's sainthood campaign.

Nice try, liquor-store Betty Grable, but the great pin-ups knew how to color their lipstick inside the lines.

Exactly, Stan. Exactly.

Because a deli owner who doesn't want the stuffties stolen totally puts them as far away from his/her sightline as possible, instead of stocking that end cap with novelty-flavored Doriti.

"Urban" "squalor."

Maybe St. Donna needs to pray Benjamin up an acting coach? We know he's little, but the line he's looking offscreen for a prompt on is "Thank you, Isaiah." Even One-Off Erin could get through a three-worder without an assist.

Mrs. Holcomb should be able to count this pro "virgin says what?" face as credit hours, in our opinion.

Chocolate-frosting lipstick, applied with a spatula.

Adopt-a-Black-Family-Month bray.

St. Donna saves the day, and we neeeeever saw them (or Sarah's lunch) agaaaaaain.

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