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The Audience Demands A Dip...And The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids Have DOZENS

Donna comes out (not like that), Dylan gives Hannah a run for her money (since he has none left) in the being-a-baby department, and D'Shawn wears a tux, you're welcome.

It's like the Again With This podcast that accompanies these Visual Aids joined a cult or something!

This is a marginal improvement over the Brazilian-wax goatee? But it does make it easier to see the unearned smugness radiating from this little fucksuck like cartoony waves.

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Presidential candidate String Beane assesses Valerie's political landscape, if you know what we mean, and we think you do. (Her booty.)

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Yeah, what a dump. [eye-roll] Although it's a little surprising that Ohhhhhndrea didn't object to sectarian artwork depicting Noah's ark.

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A mother's hysterical intuition. Or maybe her face is falling because it's stupid Jesse who should be freaking out about missing the stupid milestones of the stupid baby he insisted they have.

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Drama Martin, complete with a crunchy, overdyed proscenium of former bangs.

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As this half-ass set dressing attests, it's July in the Zipverse, and these extras think Dylan is "celebrating" his "independence" from all of his money a little too loudly.

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We hesitate to sign off on any of Dylan's shittiness in this episode, but this "pinching a loaf" mien is really the only correct reaction to Donna's debunnouncement.

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In the land of no pockets, the tiny backpack is king.

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When we said Kelly made a serious sandwich, we meant it. Like, it looks like a triple-decker! How do you abandon that uneaten?

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Not that Travis has a whole lot to recommend him -- being named "Travis" is already two strikes -- but when a girl's other choice is this bozo, "not David" is plenty.

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That said, Travis should seriously consider choosing himself if this condemned front porch and Cloroxella De Vil hairstyle is his best option.

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Judgy McSuperiorpants is horrified that Dylan is drinking a beer. HORRIFIED. And angry that Dylan isn't conducting himself according to the McSuperiorpants code.

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I mean, right? You're not owed an apology for tolerating the imperfections of others, Moral Majority. Find a different expression.

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Work it, Val. (With different shoes, though. My grandma owned those in three colors.)

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Hee, dig D'Shawn's saint-triptych soccer-ball halo. Not to mention the eyebrow he's throwing the drunk 50-year-old to his right.

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...No.

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What's worse, the cleavern happening on Donna's torso, or Felice's orgasmic reaction to seeing it for ten minutes?

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Simps gonna simp.

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The Goofus and Gallant of tuxedo style.

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Oh, you only ordered one undersized smoldering trash heap of self-righteousness? Sorry about that.

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We get it. Your Boots Of Poverty-Stricken Emotional Fragility trump everyone else's bourgeois manners.

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It's important for couples to share common interests -- like mistakenly believing they're the wronged parties here, and glaring furiously at Dylan.

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Is Jesse cheating on Ohhhhhndrea with a lady where he workzzzz who cares. I'm too busy laughing at 1) the extra's uber-'90s Jughead-cap styles to laugh at 2) anyone hitting on Jesse for any reason.

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Doing body shots with a slampuppy who smokes and tried to hit on Jesse is pretty bad, but it's the tainting of the fugly robe that's a bridge too far.

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Cat-Butt Mouth: The Awakening.

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Braykfast of champions.

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No wonder he's crying; somebody combed his bangs with an eggbeater.

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Fasten more buttons, please. You're here to apologize, not breastfeed. Also, stop doing that weird navel-picking move; it's gross and nobody wants to see your treasure trail. (Especially now that the treasure is in Mexico with Kevin and Suzanne, stupid.)

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Great, now you've upset Rex.

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Oh goody, Clare's a sophomore just like the rest of the gang! Too bad that juicy chess-club brain isn't going to stop her from boning most of them.

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In which "the" T-bill is spent in a poolward spiral.

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