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Palm Springs Offers A Plethora Of Horrors In The Latest Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids

But at least it's a dry horror.

Listen along with the "P.S. I Love You" podcast -- and watch the second gear!

Who knew Steve was so into big hats? He must really get a workout every time there's a royal wedding.

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Pretty nice suite (though why you'd bother to bring pennants to decorate for a weekend is not clear), but there better be an ironing board or Steve's shorts are going to look awful!

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Nice pinky ring, Rushio.

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Are we sure this piece of tat came from the farmer's market and not an especially downmarket swap meet?

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Remember those three episodes when Kelly's hair looked good? They are over.

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And this glare suggests that she knows it...

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...though no one who'd go out in public in this outfit is qualified to give anyone else the stink-eye about anything.

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Which is worse: the screen font or the writing?

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Clare? Same.

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SHAVE IT. SHAVE IT NOW. In fact, figure out how to shave it YESTERDAY.

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Yet another gorgeous "the fuck?" reaction shot for Ms. Kathleen Robertson.

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Just when we thought Kelly's outfit couldn't get worse: maxi-skirt; sneakers.

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Luann prepares to dish out some bad relationship advice to go with her bad top.

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Speaking of "shave it": this.

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Brandon Has Two Dads, and this is their last chance to say goodbye over some free food.

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Did Tori Spelling make a bet as to how much mugging she could do waiting for the director to call "cut"? If she did, she...won.

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Was anyone ever so smug about winning a fight so dumb?

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Val? Same.

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Just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you're required to wear overalls.

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With Andrea gone, Kelly takes on the mantle of the gang's new Nana.

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Here is an under-five who takes his role seriously.

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Now arriving in Palm Springs: a lot of bad style decisions.

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Sweet Robin does her best to win over a skeptical Steve.

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But Steve just might be more interested in Muntz's hose, like Brandon is.

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Donna dresses for the convention in her best Lilly Pulitzer napkins...

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...while Felice opts for an ensemble made from Blanche Deveraux's lanai furniture.

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The arrows really say it all.

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Nooooo, Robin, Steve and Brandon definitely aren't gay at all.

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Continuity issue, or did Brandon lose a guest from his arm party in the pool?

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Ooh, bad angle for Donna's boobs.

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Oh, right: there is no good angle.

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Big hat goddess goes shopping in her sexiest skort.

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Basically the only right answer to a pair of gay-panicking roommates: a silent challenge to say something out loud, when you know they totally won't.

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Ray's triumph: getting Donna to go to dinner in the only garment she owns that covers both her shoulders and her cleavage.

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TFW when you're kind of a boozehound but your supposedly straitlaced friend has out-drunked you.

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Brandon was hassling Rush about Sonny Bono's no-show, but has he made sure he didn't get lost in Brandon's suit?

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The only thing better than Val's boobs? Val's boobs in a hot tub.

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Frumpy florals: in stereo!

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Making Carol Potter and James Eckhouse close out their time on this show as hallucinations telling their TV son of four years not to bone Val feels extremely disrespectful.

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Particularly when it's just an inducement for him to bray AT NOTHING.

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Now we know what Steve looks like when his boner deflates.

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Same, Val's boobs. Same.

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Come through, Law & Order bit player! (Here: Mobster/Film Backer Tom Rose.)

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She has a lot of presence!

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Being a character actor means never having to fix your teeth.

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Even a very pretty girl can get caught in an unfortunate pig-nose moment. Tilt that chin...down.

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This is the expression we'd go with if we were told we were sharing a resort with Brandon, too.

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Same, Rush. Same.

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And now...the moment you've waited a whole season to relive.

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Except if you freeze the frame at JUST the right time, you can tell that "Donna" is temporarily played by a forty-five-year-old stunt performer who may or may not be named Bruce.

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You've gotta love those mid-'90s gas prices.

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Let he who is without sin throw the first chicken cutlet.

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The transphobic plotline is extremely offensive, so pretend these great Ian Ziering reactions are about something else.

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"I just spent my SECOND night in jail" bray.

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It's bad to be in the Mob, but this is 100% the right call for Tom to make.

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At least it's a beautiful place to die OR WOULD HAVE BEEN, TOM, YOU COWARD.

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Does Clare realize this prom look might not be appropriate for the afternoon?

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We get it, Kelly: you hate Val.

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The brayer becomes the brayee.

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This Midnight Cowboy remake sucks.

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R.I.P. that hotel pillowcase, killed by Donna's full face of makeup.

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We give Tori Spelling a lot of shit, but this moment -- silently confronting Ray -- is some very nice, subtle acting.

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OOOOOOOOOH, QUEL BADASS!!!!! [Eye-roll.]

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Is Brandon...giving sex eyes...to a video of Val as a very young child?!

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Apparently the old video was just his foreplay for unhinging his jaw to make out with Val.

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AND THAT'S A (DISGUSTING) WRAP ON SEASON 5!

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