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Jesse Obliviously Brings Home A Metaphor For His Marriage In The Latest Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids

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This is some of the most emotionally ravaged plate-drying you will ever see.

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Previously.TV

"Honey, look what I found on my run! It's a metaphor for our relationship!"

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Andrea puts the "nay" in "negligee."

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It might look like Val is taking an awful lot of time admiring some very boring shoes. IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.

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Mr. Brennan is not here for Val's excuses not to have paid her hotel bill already.

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Previously.TV

Val ponders her next move, schemingly.

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Mr. Brennan is not here for Val's attempt to settle her bill IN TRADE, if you know what we mean.

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Previously.TV

But if there's a woman alive who could change the mind of even the most...uh...SCRUPULOUS hotel managers, it's this lip-biting vixen! Except for this time. Back to the Walshes' she goes.

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It's amazing how good Brandon is at "playing" an obnoxious "character" for David and Clare's project, huh Jim?

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Previously.TV

Dylan is watching Val walk out of the Peach Pit, not set a kitten on fire, not that you'd be able to tell the difference from this expression.

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This is not, in fact, the actress who played the lady who faked a neck injury in "A Competitive Edge," but we can understand why you'd think it was. This is Dr. Molly Johnson, whose hypnotherapy skills will...well. We will not spoil eet.

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In a season of terrible Donna hair: a new low.

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"From you, okay? I learned bad hair from watching you!!!"

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Quick, someone find a portrait painter to commit this mother-daughter hair moment to canvas.

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When you think you've been holding on your dopey look long enough but when you look at the director you find out you need to do more.

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Previously.TV

With Joey Slotnick as...Tuck. (Ask your parents.)

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Rex wants to get into the cinema verité business.

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In an extremely silly, pointless episode, Ian Ziering makes his own fun.

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Previously.TV

David can't understand why Clare is leaving when there's plenty of room for her in his vest.

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STUFF x 3.

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TFW your character "nerd" hair is about a million times more attractive than your regular hair.

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This hair STUFF would make more sense if Donna's hair wouldn't be immobile in a tornado.

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Previously.TV

Kelly? Us too.

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Tuck meets "Tuck," and an actually amusing moment ensues! For once!

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Hey hey, Clare's the Monkees! Or her head has been attacked by a man o' war.

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Dancing STUFF!

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Previously.TV

Kissing...well, not so much "STUFF" as "emotional warfare." Either way, it's bad.

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Previously.TV

Clare's attack on David is so effective that Steve needs that pillow if he doesn't want to scandalize all his best friends.

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Kelly's spent the night puking and sleeping but her lipstick is still, miraculously, perfect.

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Clare may have dumped David, but he's still got his collection of armoire-sized vests to comfort him.

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