It's Hard To Overstate The Degree To Which Steve CANNOT HANDLE A New Gay Person On Beverly Hills, 90210
Take a journey through his alarm and contrition (and much more!) in the Visual Aids for 'Blind Spots'!
Listen along with the "Blind Spot" podcast if you want to feel like you're waterskiing on a lake in the mountains.
Even if you knew nothing else about this show at all, you would be able to date it to the '90s by this piece of décor. If you were in college and didn't have one in your apartment, you could get a steep fine.
Rocky II might have a stupid name, but he can speak for us with a well-timed dubious head-cock any time.
We would have loved to be in the meeting in which Fox executives determined exactly how nude the tasteful nudes in this gay coffeehouse could be.
Aw, a Chris Isaak impersonator found love!
Let's give it up for Ian Ziering and his symphony of gobsmacked expressions. IT'S A GAY COFFEEHOUSE, YOU GUYS! WHERE THEY SERVE GAY COFFEE! AND CALL IT CAPPUCCINO!!!!!
Steve is shocked to see...a dude! Whose presence in the gay coffeehouse is very surprising!
You have to get all the way through the scene before you figure out this handsome, apparently gay gentleman is Mike Ryan, KEG president, formerly played in several episodes by one Brandon Douglas. What possible reason could Brandon Douglas have for giving up this role: too flabby for a beefcake calendar, or too scared to play a gay guy? WEIGH IN IN THE COMMENTS!
Please also weigh in on what Donna (or Tori Spelling) is removing from her mouth. Gum or food?
Aw, look! Luke Perry's smiling in a genuinely charming fashion! Let's all enjoy this solar eclipse-type event together.
This is David's piano teacher Holly, described on the podcast by one of us as a mannequin who came to life, but not all the way.
Anyway, back to Steve, aghast at the idea that he might want an Italian coffee just chock full of steamed milk. HE'S NEVER HAD A CAPPUCCINO!!!
Brandon spreads his legs as wide as they'll go in order to lecture Steve about being comfortable in his masculinity.
Don't worry: Brandon emphasizes his point with some braying.
Across town, Donna regards David much the same way she would if he were a living fart.
EVERYBODY SHUT UP CRESS WILLIAMS TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF
Tough luck to you two bros having to follow that shirtlessness, but...we're all set. Thank you. THANK YOU, THAT MEANS "LEAVE."
You can tell Artie is ready for a frank conversation about the spectrum of sexual expression by his crazy eyes.
Nice pleats, Mike. Good luck picking up a dude in those pants.
When D'Shawn Hardell takes a gig as a fake date, he commits 100%.
That's some pretty subtle hate-criming, KEG bigots.
We feel you, D'Shawn. We ship you and Donna too.
Steve is good at screwing up, but also good at looking extremely regretful afterward.
Ever wonder what it looks like to be on the wrong side of history? Like this.
Brenda's cut off some of her hair, but none of her stank attitude.
No one man should have all that power.
And, in still form, for your desktop wallpaper, you're welcome.
Does this look like a B-list body?
And, in still form, for your desktop wallpaper, if you have a shirtless golf-playing grandpa fetish (no judgment).
Wait, which is the gay one again?
Sincerely: give it up for Jason Priestley and his understated body shame. It's cute!
Then there's this toad. Go drink some orange juice, jerk.
Dylan makes a big splash as Kelly's beefcake surfer.
And there's that winning smile again! Savour it, you're not going to see it much for the rest of the season.
And that's all the calendar bros! Fit for a picture frame engraved Precious Memories Of A Special Day.